A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 17, 6 weeks pregnant and no clue on how to tell my parents. My boyfriend is 21. Been together for 8months and they know him very well. Mom likes him, father doesn't want me involved in anything serious with any boy but accepts my relationship. They did let me spend a lot of time with him and look what happened. Now I need advice to tell them. Don't wanna get lectured. Don't wanna disappoint them. Also I would appreciate any original ways of telling them you guys could suggest me. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (5 May 2012):
Don't tell them. Unless you really want to be a mother already and have loads of money get your bf's credit card find a doctor and terminate the pregnancy and get on with your life. I know several friends that were in your situation and I would suggest the above is the best advice. Getting pregnant is a bodily function not an act of god as some would have us believe. Lots of things happen in our lives where we have to take active control and make a decision. You have one sooner than most and at your age it seems monumental but when you reflect back later in life with 4 kids and a great husband you will know you did the right thing. Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2012): "Don't wanna get lectured. Don't wanna disappoint them."
If you didn't want to get lectured and, much more importantly, if you REALLY didn't want to disappoint your parents, then you wouldn't have violated their trust by being so dumb, careless and irresponsible that you now find yourself knocked up at 17.
"Also I would appreciate any original ways of telling them you guys could suggest me."
Sorry, but nothing remotely "original" about a 17-year-old girl getting herself knocked up, so I can't suggest any "original ways of telling [your parents]" that you've gotten yourself knocked up. All you can do is tell your parents the sad, unfortunate, inconvenient, disappointing, lecture-inducing truth. I agree with previous posters that it's probably best to tell your mother first, she should be able to figure out the least devastating manner in which to deliver such devastating news to your father.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 May 2012):
 I think it completely depends on who your parents are, how you think they will take the news, and then make your plans on telling them according to what you think would be the easiest and best way.
Any way is better than not telling until your belly shows. And ANY way of telling is much better than your parents overhearing it, or learning about it from somewhere else. If YOU aren't the ones who tell them, and someone else tells them, then they will most likely feel betrayed and lied to. So you should be the first to tell them, in private, and at a time where you get time to discuss it.
Tell them you have something you want to talk to them about regarding your future. Agree on a time, and stress that this is an important conversation. If you are too nervous or scared to say it, write it on a note and give it to them. Then they'll start asking questions, so try to prepare yourself for what they may ask you, such as:
will you keep the baby
what does the father of your baby plan to do
what do you plan to do
And, figure out if there is anything you want to ask them, such as asking for:
help and support
for you and the baby to live at home until you find a better arrangement
help to find a good living arrangement
help to get to the doctors appointments
help in telling the rest of the family the news
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2012): I would definitely tell your Mom first. Most mothers are more understanding than fathers when it comes to their daughters getting pregnant. She knows your Dad best and can help you with telling him.
Someone mentioned abortion. Abortion has a life long effect on the woman who goes through with it. It isn't spoken about very often BUT it leaves an emotional scar that never goes away. I have 2 teenage daughters and I would never recommend abortion to either of them. Adoption would be my suggestion if they did not want to be a teen-mom.
They are going to be disappointed, and probably really angry. They will cry and so will you. Hopefully you have plenty of support after the shock wear off from not only your parents, but your boyfriend.
Good Luck!!
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A
male
reader, grymsoul +, writes (4 May 2012):
 I wonder where's this 21 year old guy now. You know, the father of your baby. You've been saying a lot of 'I's but no 'We's. Isn't he going to man up and talk to your parents with you? Or was he just a hit and run? After only eight months of being with him, you have proven to your parents that you are irresponsible. They loosened your string only to have your return with added weight.
Ofcourse you're going to get lectured. Although, I think it's a bit late for that. If they had stood their ground on not letting you hang out with this guy, who by the way can be charged with rape, then maybe none of this would have happened.
Now let's talk about the father of your kid. How irresponsible of him to even activate a sexual relationship with you. He obviously couldn't wait until you were of age, could he? Now if your father is mad enough, he could easily put your baby's father in prison. Neither of you guys thought this through did you?
I think it would be best if your boyfriend was there with you. Not only will it show that he's willing to own up and take care of what is his, it will also gain him points (even if he is deeply in the negatives) with the dad. As much as I worry for you and your baby, I worry more about your boyfriend. If the legal age of sex where ever you are is eighteen, then his balls is firmly planted in a vice-grip right about now. So running away from this responsibility will not do him any good.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2012): ok although it maybe hard and u don't want a them telling u wat 2 do there ur parents but u should practice what ur going to say like I made a mistake and had unproteced sex and found out u were prego and tell them ur sorry and if they could not yell at u ur scaried enough and start crying I'm sure u will either way seeing there faces of dissapiont but I'm sure ur parents will help u and b there 4 u either way its not just hard 4 u but 4 them 2 hear there baby has a baby in her is pretty huge so think and practice wat u want 2 say and take what they have 2 say and all will b fine aft3r u get that part over with don't have ur bf there and does he no? Is he willing 2 b apart of this unborn babys life?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 May 2012):
 I agree with Cindy Cares (when do I not???)
mom and dad will be sad
they will cry
they might yell
they are very disappointed in you but what's done is done.
IF you were being responsible and using Birth control and it failed you let them know. IF you were not then you need to own up that their trust in you was misplaced.
I agree telling MOM first is the best way to go.. she can break the news to dad... who will probably want to kill your bf... but you have to be an adult and say "I'm just as much to blame..."
I hope at 17 with a 4 year age difference they won't charge him with a crime but it's possible that they will esp. if your parents insist.... each state has different laws.
do you have plans for what you will do?
you can have an abortion if you like it's legal and if you were my daughter that's personally what I would encourage you to do... I'd make sure if you wanted it that it was done properly in a proper location with a proper doctor...
if not, do you plan to keep the baby?
are you prepared to be a single mom if the daddy can't or won't step up (pretty common with such young parents)?
would you consider adoption if you can't or won't terminate the pregnancy...
you are early enough to consider all your options... please do so.. and talk to your mom about it... involve her.
crying is allowed.
try not to yell
and no there is no creative or cute way to do this at your age in your situation.. cold brutal honesty is the only thing you have.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 May 2012):
 OP, ...they will be disappointed, no other way around that, because you DID disappoint them big time. They let you hang out and spend plenty of time with this guy, obviously trusting that you could handle the situation, and not get involved too seriously. A baby is something very serious, and its unplanned arrival shows that you did not handle things properly, so how can they not be disappointed. They will probably lecture you, you will probably have to eat some humble pie, and for them to bypass that, they should not be parents , they should be saints.
The good news is that , regardless of this surprise you are springing on them, that may leave them a bit frazzled at first, they won't love you any less. You, and your baby too , if you choose to keep it. In fact, chances are that if you let them get used to the idea, they'll be absolutely happy. They are your parents, they want you to be happy, maybe their idea of happiness did not include becoming a mother at 18... but ,as long as YOU are happy, they'll be fine too.
Don't worry about being creative or original or whatnot. Just, don't be confrontational, and speak from the heart. Tell them you are sorry that you may have let them down, but this is what happened and you count on them to be there for you and help you and assist you with whatever decision you may take . I really think they will not disappoint YOU.
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