A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How can I break through and become friends with my partners kids who basicly hate me. They are polite but very very stand offish. is there anyway I can reassure them being my friend doesnt equate to replacing their real parent. I just wish we could all coexist happily while they visit us. Any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, slimfish  +, writes (15 October 2010):
 before i could answer this i would have to know how old are the children?.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (15 October 2010):
 Your partner should be supporting you on this. I would suggest perhaps a day where it was only you and your partner's kids, just getting to know each other so that they do not instantly see you as an invasive member of their family. Instead they will see you as a friend. So be there as a friend.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, asian tealeaf  +, writes (15 October 2010):
 is ur partner divorced or widowed. if hes divorced, they might blame you for it, or feel threatened by ur presence, if hes widopwed they would feel very angry because naturally they dont want another woman in their life next to their mom....so while ur partner willl ne3ed to play a role in this issue, only time will heal the pain and grief they are feeling...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): well that would take the help of your partner as well, if he dosnt help support and ease the situation there will always be that hate there... talk to him and work out a game plan.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): Try spending time with them.. show them your not mean or scary or anything like that. Show them that they can be your friend and can trust you. The kids probably dont feel close since you are logically the new other person. Kids dont like to see there own parents not together, their not going to want to see you with your partner. take them out places like the park and the movies, ect. First bring your partner along, and with time they will warm up to you and be more comfortable with you that they will want to go with you all the time...
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