A
female
age
30-35,
*ackums619
writes:This really isn't a question but I know many of you who went through abortions are probably feeling the same way I do. I had an abortion in 2008. I was 17, and It was NOT my choice. I am not 20 and I still can't get over it, no one understands. I never wanted kids, dont get me wrong I love them. Just I had plans. I got my abortion because my bf told me he would leave me nd the kid would have a bad life, his mother said I was the devil and that the baby would live in a life of sin. My fater told me if I kept the baby it would ruin my life, everyone told me to get one. IT was the worst gfeeling ever when I woke up. I woke up looked around and felt empty. I regret it to this day, I wish I was stronger then. As I sit here and type this, I have tears slipping down. Four months after getting an abortion my boyfriend knocked me up again. He told me to abort it, this time I was 18 and I put my foot down. Caden is now 18 months today. Abd even though I have a son, because I chose to be a mom, It still hurts to know that I murdered an innocent baby. So i guess my question is, how do you get over it? Whats your story?
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (16 October 2010):
 You needn't feel guilt. Though you were pressured into having an abortion, you did the right thing because either way, you were not ready. Going through the abortion however, built you and now you are a stronger mother than you would have been.
What you did was not murder. To legally have an abortion, the foetus would have had to have been less than 12 weeks old. Right then, it was still just another part of you, it had no mind. It could not think, it could not feel, it just was not alive yet. That means it would not have been able to feel whatever life it would have had to live, a life of struggle and turmoil. I know that I may sound like a monster at this point, thinking so little of such things but it is just what I think to be true. People force others not to have an abortion, they call themselves 'pro-life' but, without careful consideration, without ever having gone through what you went through, they might as well just call themselves 'pro-suffering' because a mother and her child have a bond unlike anything else in this world and clearly, you were not in a state for that, neither was your family. You were still very young, far too young to care for a child. Now you took a stand and that shows how far you have come.
I know that some of the things I say may seem horrid and terrible but I truly believe that what you did was not murder. No child should have to live with an unready and unwilling mother, that sort of childhoos destroys people. You grew and now you can care for the son you have now.
I hope that helps.
A
female
reader, gemerson@85  +, writes (16 October 2010):
i too had a abort my baby too because my boyfriend was a different religion and his family wouldnt accept me and as i already had two kids from a previous relationship i wouldnt be able to manage ill be honest my excuses are not enough for what i did but i was like you crying every nite and still i do but i serched for a answer , i went to a shop one day and bought a book something told me to get it it was so weird i never bought a book b4 it was called angels in her hair . i read it it was bout a physic and her life but she explained so much about life death and how god sees things in it she said before a child is concieved it chooses its mammy it knows he or she will only stay for a sort while and knows it will be aborted she said the child will love you reguardless as it chose you. after reading this i felt better i named the baby i aborted and prayed to him everynite we have so many paths in life hun its hard to find the rite one sometimes put god in ur heart and pray and find that book. i know in time u be fine xxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010): Can I answer this question? I am a man and a catholic and maybe not the target person you want to answer, but I would like to answer.
First, please drop the guilt. It isn't your fault.
I don't think abortion is the answer for these problems, as you don't either. But, things are never that simple. People apply pressure don't they? You have experienced it first hand. Look, you must let it pass. It has happened due to pressures applied on you and you have moved on and have a new child. Concentrate on that child. And listen, we live in a strange culture, that culture influenced your choice. I don't agree with abortion but it isn't simplistic to say it is black and white, wrong or right. Look after the child you have now and look forward to any new ones. Ease up on yourself. You sound like a lovely person. Remember Caden is a person and thanks to you can live a life. Thanks to you!! and your strength! and your character! Well done. Focus on the child you have now and not on the child you were not allowed to have. Don't forget, but go easy on yourself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): I can tell you, as a man, that I've known more than one woman who has had an abortion.
You don't get over it, you just get through it.
Just the fact that you typed what you did means you have strength, use that strength, and love that child that you have with all of your heart.
You didn't murder someone, you had an abortion.
You are not a bad person, you are a person who was in a bad situation and left at a vulnerable young age without the support that you needed to deal with the situation you were in.
Get counseling to help you. Have faith and hope and love yourself as well as others. It will get better.
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