A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is going to sound horrible..but I might as well just go ahead and say exactly what I feel..I'm dating my boyfriend for 4 months now, he's crazy about me, would do anything for me.. I like him too, I like spending time with him, I care about him! But I don't fancy him that much.. I think I would leave him if I find someone I find attractive and that person asks me out and also if I can connect with him.. sometimes I think the reason I'm clinging on to this is until I find that person.. what do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2013): You should break up with him gracefully. Now. Dating is about exploring if there is potential for more. You have found your answer that there isn't more for you as far as he is concerned. So you need to inform him so he can try again with someone else.
To continue with him is to lie and mislead him. It is being dishonest and it is using him. That's morally wrong.
Do you feel comfortable telling him your true motives for continuing to stay with him and your plans to wait until you find someone else before you will leave? If not then you know already that what you're planning to do is morally wrong.
You're also preventing him from finding someone who will love him back. Then when you find someone else and leave him, it will be all well and good for you since you now have a new love but what about him? He will be startng from zero whereas you had a head start all along. In other words you are intending to screw him over.
Its not bad to want out of a relationship if you dont feel anything for him. But it is being a jerk to mislead the other person. And it is being a jerk to lie to them so you can use them for your comfort until you have lined up a replacement thus making them waste their time. Don't be a jerk. If your feelings don't match his and you intend to leave him if someone better comes along then that means he isn't the one for you and you already know it so you should do it now, not use him and waste his time not telling him its a dead end until its convenient for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2013): I think you should stop seeing him.
because its unfair for your bf.
if you don't love someone then don't commit with them.
meaning don't be their gf or bf because there is commitment involved when you are in a relationship.
Every time you tell him you love him, he believes you.
Your not only lying to him, but to yourself too.
and that's not good, would you like someone do to you what your doing to your bf?
say for example in the future you met someone.
he is everything you wanted. lets just say he is the man of your dreams. and he asked you to be his gf. but deep inside of him his feeling the same way your feeling to your bf.
how would you feel?
we know karma exist and it is DIGITAL.
So, try to be Fair and Just.
sometimes its just a foolish beat of your heart.
I hope you clear your mind.
Most of the advises you got from here, sez the same thing to you.
don't feel like your being judged,or attacked.
when someone advised you unpleasant to your ears. just try to analyze it. anyway, you ask for it.
Its not too late for you to change, you can do it and i do believe in you.we all make mistakes. just delete the mistakes you make and start all over.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 August 2013):
 It's not horrible that you don't like your boyfriend that much. You've only known him for 4 months, it's not like you married him! You're free to not like someone "that" what once you've gotten to know them. So you just found out he isn't the one for you, no crime in that!
However, the "horrible" part would be the absolute selfishness of taking advantage of him, use him, lie to him, make him believe you actually like him, when in fact you're just taking advantage of his feelings for you until "someone better" comes along.
Break up with him. You wont die from being single for a while, it will NOT damage you to be on your own. Don't act like you aren't "complete" without a man by your side, you're a grown woman, not someones pretty accessory. So stand on your own two feet and woman up. End the relationship and THEN find a new man.
Btw, no man with any respect for you or himself will flirt with you or make a pass at you while you're still in a relationship. The only men you'll find interested in you while in a relationship are the users and players who don't care for you one bit. You don't really want any of those. Be free and single, and the more suitable and good boyfriends will be available for your picking. But while still in a relationship all you get to pick from are the likes of liars, cheaters and players. Because.. like-minded people are attracted to each other. Flirting and looking for a new relationship while still in one = cheating.
You don't wanna be a cheater? Then just break up already. I can't see why that should be so difficult. Perhaps you can explain why you hesitate so much and are so scared of being single?? What do you think will happen if you were single? What's so horrible about it?
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (9 August 2013):
 End it right now. Its not fair to your boyfriend and what you're doing is just wrong. You're stringing him along till someone better comes your way while he adores you and has no clue about what you're thinking. Also remember, the longer you drag it out, the more difficult it might be for you to actually get rid of him. What if he doesn't want to let you go? I say finish it right now, tell him nicely that its not working out and that you wish him well. Then cut off all contact and allow him to move on with his life.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 August 2013):
 End it. That is just nor fair on him and for that matter yourself. Because YOU might ACTUALLY miss out of someone who really rings your bells because you are to busy "faking" love.
If you after 4 months together don't JUST want him and no one else, set him free.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2013): You should do what an honest and decent person is supposed to
do. You end the relationship and move on.
Why would you deceive someone and use them, and think that is okay? What kind of person are you?
This isn't even the kind of thing you would have to ask, if you were of good character. You would never play on someone's feelings and string them along. You don't even seem to care that you could hurt him.
The sad thing is you're proud of the fact that you can play someone along like you are. Using someone at your convenience.
Unbelievable! How totally narcissistic and selfish!
You have a lot of nerve.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2013): I think you sound very immature. You obviously need to have a really bad relationship to appreciate a good one. Look don't stay around forever they can be gone in a flash. If you are connected to him emotionally stay with him.
Take him shopping for some new clothes get his haircut go to the gym together to make him more 'fanciable' to you.
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