A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So guys I need your opinion on something I previously gotten into this friends with benefits relationship and I'm Soo confused.. He comes down every other weekend and we have a great time and then when we talk he always says we need to stop Bc he's suppose to be down here seeing his kids not me so when I say ok we don't really talk but when he comes down he always ends up with.. What's going on with him why can't he make up his mind
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 October 2013):
 Because the spirit is strong but the flesh is weak, have you ever heard this ? ...
It could be that occasionally he feels scruples, he feels that he should not be having booty calls with you : either because it's time he could spend with his twins, or because he does not want you to get too involved and get any ideas, or for whatever other reason. But, he gets horny- and you are there , so convenient, compliant, docile, no strings, no demands on him, sex on tap... it's hard to resist temptations when they happen to be under your nose, within such an easy reach.
I don't find it so surprisisng : the world is full of people who says " I should really quit smoking "- while they go buy cigarettes. Or , " tomorrow I am going on a diet "- while they scarf down a double Big Mac.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2013): Trying to make sense of your last comment. Anyway, that's not a FWB, that's a guy who only comes around for a bootie call. Let this guy go, he's just using you for sex and it sounds like you want more out of it then that. It's a perfect set up for him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2013): I'm 20 n he's 26 but when we meet or whatever it's when his kids are asleep they only 18 months old twins but ig y'all are making since but we don't talk or hang really unless we together that's all it is but I just wasn't get y he said one thing and does another
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 October 2013):
 In order to stop being confused, stop having sex with him... the confusion will lift like magic.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2013): This doesn't sound like a FWB at all. You said he has kids, and you are somewhere between 18-21...how old is this guy? Reads like some older guy is coming around and getting no strings attached sex from a young women.
If he is only a FWB, then there is nothing to be confused about. He comes to visit, you have sex and everything goes back to the way it was. There are no feelings attached to this kind of relationship except having a friend and getting sex. If you are feeling confusion, then it's time for these bootie calls to end. He's perfectly content with how it's going, but you are not. And when that happens, FWB is over.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 October 2013):
 Anonymous is spot-on. YOU are totally in control of WHATEVER has - or is - going to happen....
This "FWB" has all any guy would ever want....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2013): "What's going on with him why can't he make up his mind"
He has made up his mind. He's perfectly content to keep you as his steady appointment piece on the side, so he's stringing you along by keeping you at arm's length while you continue to regularly put out for him.
At the risk of sounding moralistic, judgmental and old-fashioned I must say I don't understand why any self-respecting young woman would allow herself to be used (at the risk of getting pregnant) by a scumbag who neglects his own kids in order to get laid.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (23 October 2013):
 He cant make up his mind because he's getting sex from you! That's not rocket science! He always has the "talk" after the sex, when he's not thinking with his penis but then again when his needs well up, he's back with you again.
You're just wasting your time with this guy OP. If an FWB is your thing then go for it by all means. But someone is almost always likely to get hurt and since you're the one here asking this question, its most likely going to be you.
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