A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently ended up kissing a women I work with after a night out. It shouldn't be a problem, only she is married. We have always had great chemistry and she has made no secret of her liking me--I guess you could say she is a cougar or whatever. She is 39 and looks fantastic, always very sexy. She flirts a lot with most of the young guys in our workplace too, which is why I never tried to initiate anything with her, as I just thought it was part of her personality to be flirtatious (although as I say we have always had great chemistry and she flirts with me a lot more than the other guys in the office). I walked her home after a night out and then just as we were saying our goodbyes she grabbed me and kissed me--right on the doorstep outside her house with her husband inside. We were like that for about ten minutes, kissing like crazy. She was drunk at the time so I just put it down to her losing control a bit but the next morning she texted me saying how great it was. When I next saw her we talked a bit about meeting up for sex, having an affair etc. She told me about her husband, how boring he was and her lack of a sex life etc. I suggested we could meet occasionally for some fun. I was very up for it at the time but now I don't know. If it all goes wrong I will be a pariah at work and I will split up a marriage (she has no kids). On the other hand it is one of my all-time fantasies--an affair with a crazy cougar lol. You only live once, and I feel like I spend half my life restraining myself and being sensible and I get nothing back really. A very large part of me is desperate to be with her. As I left work I saw her looking at me and I knew exactly what she wanted. I thought of texting her confirming my interest but lost my courage so now she probably doesn't know what to think. Should I do this? If not, how do I tell her I’m not interested?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2013): I don't agree with the adverse remarks cocerning this woman. She could be neglected by her husband.She could be extremely lonely and frustrated because of that.It is a fact that women reach the peak of their sexual desires at her age(late therties)and would like exploring and experimenting with their bodies and feel more free in bed whereas many men start declining in that department and have errection problems after forty.So really we can't put all the blame on her w/o knowing her situation.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2013): I have to agree with Henessy1989 life really is too short to pass up the opportunity, as long as you know you may only get to sleep with her a few times and your happy with that then do it, she is the married one so that's her choice to cheat , nothing to do with you so just go for it, good luck! :)
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989 +, writes (16 October 2013):
 Have sex with her, hell, life is too short, have a bit of fun
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A
female
reader, KC12  +, writes (16 October 2013):
 You are smart for re-thinking this and even smarter if you start avoiding this man eater. to say What she's doing is no different than what many older men have done to young women in the workplace. She's the male equivalent of a womanizer, and she will probably dump you as soon as she gets what she wants from you and move on to the next young guy...sad but true. Not only that, it could really be damaging to your career once it all comes out...Also, put your self in her husband's shoes, and think about what this would do to him...Keep in mind that in these situations nine out of ten people like her who claim their marriage is "boring" and they "never have sex" and it's a "marriage of conenience" etc are lying. Some HAPPY marriages have been ruined by adultery, because a lot of naive people buy that line. I'd also steer clear of her as best as you can at work.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2013): It does not take rocket science to realize that this is really going nowhere. She wants a piece of young meat and you can google the topic because there are thousands of psychologists who well tell you what it is all about. I would say she is just about a predator and your about to become another notch in her lipstick case. Why would you just want this? I can assure you once you do this with your colleague your work relationship will never be the same. Think twice about this and move forward with caution.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2013): It's commendable that you are thinking this through before doing something stupid. And this would be really stupid.For starters, what you are not seeing is the character of this women. I realize that this is the last thing you are thinking about when you can so easily get sex from her. But this women is not a cougar, she is a two time cheating loser, not a hot single woman. She more than likely is doing this with other men as well. I'd also be concerned about catching some STD from her or accidently getting her pregnant. So, so many things could go wrong in so many ways. And risking all of that so you can have sex with her? There are plenty of women out there, unattached and with better qualities then the one who is seriously playing with fire and doesn't care one little bit. She has no respect for her husband, herself, or even you. It's the thrill of the game, with no thought to consequences. You are just the fuel she is looking for. Don't fall for it. You and everyone involved with be better for it in the end. Especially you. She will set her sights on someone else who will be weak and she can have power over.And to make matters worse, this is someone you work with? Oh lordy, don't do it. Talk about drama in the work place. This has bad written all over it. It's not going to be a simple fullfilment of your fantasy. And it won't likely meet the expectations that you've built it up to be.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2013): To tell you the truth either way you will end up regreting it.If you do sleep with her I think you will feel remorse and wish you hadn't done. On the other hand if you don't, you will end up always fantasizing how it could have been with her.So really I can't advice you either way.I can only show you the downside of the both situations. You have to decide for yourelf.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 October 2013):
 I think you need to stop a second and THINK (with the head to the north). It's not about breaking up a marriage - I would be surprised if she has cheated before and will cheat again.
But if THAT who you want to be? Some piece of "young" meat? A guy with no morals? And least but not least boinking a co-worker can cause SO much drama. What if you decide to screw her then end it and SHE doesn't want to end it? You don't think she will cause trouble for you?
Think, man!
Tell her you are flattered by the offer but you can't "do" (or have an affair with) a married woman.
You only live one, sure. And you are not 15 where the whole "yolo" can be used as an excuse. Man up. But that is no excuse to be lewd or do things "just because you can". YOU will also have to LIVE with this. When she is done with you or the other way around, and YOU met a single woman you actually like and that comes out that you were a toy-boy for a married woman, not every woman whats to date a guy with no principles.
IF you do go ahead, you might screw her, but you will screw yourself worse.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (16 October 2013):
 You can if you want but why do something like this? She's bored in her marriage and is looking to cheat and if not you, it will be someone else. But you shouldn't be the guy that's eventually going to be blamed for breaking the marriage up. Plus as you said, you work with her and that could make things ugly.
If she has no qualms about cheating on her husband then she'll definitely have no problems with cheating on you too...if at all you do get "exclusive". And what if you get emotionally involved with her? Do you really think that no-strings-attached sex is that easy?
Just tell her that you don't want to do it. In any case, if you had to do it, you would have already. That fact that you've written here shows you have certain fears when nothing's even happened yet. Don't let things start and then get complicated.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2013): Who is to say that this woman isn't already sleeping with other men, if she is very flirty and bored with her husband, then its very possible that she has already done this before.
Don't go there, you will be just filling in some of those boring hours for her, and that is all.
Find someone who is single to have don't fun with....less complicated!!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (16 October 2013):
I'm sure that if you don't someone else will, but I still wouldn't do it if I was you. There's plenty of ways that the shit could hit the fan... In my opinion it's not worth the sex.
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A
female
reader, Miss.Cupid +, writes (16 October 2013):
 what she wants is just a little fun on the side, which she basically things that's you. She lives the marriage life. and in most cases marriage life is boring, seeing your spouse everyday sex for 2 minutes then sleep, boring lifestyle. she wants a little spice in her life. To be honest with you I don't think she would divorce her husband and end up with you, she just wants to have you for the fun. Youre asking if you should do this or walk away. I cant tell you what to do. But if I were you i'd walk away. Good luck.
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