A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We have a beautiful 16 week baby boy who ia amazing. My partner and I have been together nearly 4 years.Our son is a miracle as we were told we might have problems conceiving. Yesterday my partner told me he did not want to be with me any more, I am devestated. We did have a row yesterday, our son rolled off the chair when his daddy was watching him, I went absolutly mad and sceamed and shouted at him and said the most awful thing, I said I can not even trust you to watch him. I t was wrong for me to say that but I was so upset that our baby was hurt. I took our baby to the doctors ant thank god he is fine. My partner said he will never forgive me for saying that and is moving out today. He said we can still be good parents but not together. What can I do or say I have said sorry over and over again, but he said it makes no difference now.I love him and our baby so much and wish I did not say what I did. He is a amazing dad. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2013): If my partner went postal on me for an honest mistake that I myself feel bad about, you can bet I would leave. That is cruel and shows a lack of self control. And this is a red flag for the relationship. This is a sign that you will do it again in the future. Who wants to be around that? Be panicked by all means. But don't go making him the bad guy that's just wrong. He can never trust you again because he made a honest mistake which he feels bad about and you turned on him. You saw him as the enemy. How destructive is that to a relationship. My friend was killed in a car accident while visiting her parents. Her parents were in the car with her. The father was driving and he made a gross misjudgement and caused the car to crash. He and the mother survived but their daughter, my friend, died. Both parents of course were devastated. Losing a child is the worst thing a parent can suffer. But did the mother go postal on the father? No. She supported him in his grief just as he supported her in his grief but on top of it he was carrying the horrible burden of being responsible for their daughter's death. He does not need his wife to go postal on him. He is suffering enough. I hate it when people treat you like crap and then simply apologize later, as if that cancels out everything. How arrogant. Apologize by all means but don't expect forgiveness from him just because you said sorry. Stop trying to get him back. The damage is done. Just learn from this and try to have more self control in the future.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (16 July 2013):
 Oh yes Cindy makes a good point and I do want to add to it... I totally completely get your reaction to the baby falling.... i was HYSTERICAL when the first kid fell...
by the second you just kinda brush them off and keep going...
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 July 2013):
 I am afraid it's one more vote for hekp him pack and let him go.
Your shouts can't be the real reason, maybe he was waiting for you to give him some sort of excuse to go and turn his back on a 16 weeks old baby without looking like a total complete jerk.
Yes you overreacted , yes nobody likes to be yelled at- but, God Lord, what about a bit of empathy, does he really have no idea of how you felt, how you got scared ?!
That,like SVC says, babies aren't really as delicate as we suppose them to be, it's true, but it's something that you learn with time and experience ,and that you can appreciate better when it's not your kid and you are not overly invested emotionally. But, a new mom, that sees her 16 weeks baby rolling off a chair and getting hurt, for lack of proper supervision... how do you want her NOT to scream ? You must have felt your blood chill at the time, no wonder you went a bit overboard, or even completely berserk. Then, when all ended well and you could think rationally again, you realized your mistake and apologized profusely over and over again. If he chooses to sulk and put his hurt ego over your natural moment of panic, he is either very uncompassionate , or very sly, he wanted to jump ship already and this episode was just the right excuse.
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (16 July 2013):
 He wouldn't have left because of this alone. I think he must have already been very unhappy for other reasons.
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female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (16 July 2013):
 I agree, looks like he was looking for an excuse to leave and he's got it now. It takes two to make a relationship and if he is so absolutely rigid about the fact that he doesn't want to be with you just because of what you said in a fit of anger, then maybe this isn't the guy for you. You have apologized enough. Like SVC said, help him pack and let him go.
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female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (16 July 2013):
 I agree with SVC, help him pack and let him go. There is no way you going to change his mind. Its sounds like he was looking for an excuse to leave.
You are going to have to be strong for your baby and move on if he does not come back. Don't beg or grovel because he is not going to change his mind. As hard as it is, tell him if this what he wants you will respect it and accept that its over and wish him well. Of course there should be child support, he cant just walk away from his responsibilities.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 July 2013):
Sounds to me like he was looking for an excuse to leave.
it may be temporary or he may have been planning this for a while.
You have said you are sorry and you over reacted and he refuses to accept it. Personally if he wants to go there is nothing you can do to stop him so I would HELP HIM PACK and let him know you are NOT upset by this. (reverse psychology)
I just think that emotions are high right now.
Personally, I think you over reacted about the baby falling off a chair... I had a kid that fell out of my arms and hit the ground head first at 3 months.. he rolled off the middle of a king sized bed at 4 weeks and wiggled out of a stroller at about 2 months... and thankfully my ex husband never told me I was a lousy parent.
My younger one fell down 4 brick steps at about 16 months old face first.
the kids are now 27 and 29 and both live away from home, the younger one supports himself totally.. NO damage from the falls...
some kids are just very mobile and are incredibly resilient and bendy ON PURPOSE.. there is a reason our skulls are open as children... we fall A LOT... part and parcel of being a kid.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 July 2013):
 Give him time to cool off and get over your hurtful words. He may realize that the "mama bear" lurks in all mothers especially new mothers and forgive you. I hope he does but if he doesn't then there may be some other underlying issues at play. Best of luck.
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