A
male
age
41-50,
*scdad
writes:Hello everyone, i need your help...i recently found a bunch on naked pictures of my wifes privates on her phone.we have been married for 9 years and she has never done anything like this.i checked the dates on the pics and they have been taken over a period of 2 months during weekdays on work hours and i never received any of them.i only found the pics because she forgot to lock her phone which she normally does...she claims she did it because she just wanted to.i feel so bad cause am not able to let go of the though she is sending them to someone else...but she denies it and tells me to let it go.is it normal for women to take pics of their private areas during work hours and and pics of her fingering herself at her office restroom?? i need help i feel so certain she is cheating but dont know what to do.she continues to tell me its normal and that i need to get over it....could i be over reacting? is this mornal behavior of a 38 year old women mother of 3...shes also been taking extra attention on how she dresses and always wears thongs and very tight revealing clothes to work....anyone that can give me some insight i will greatly appreciated..
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 November 2013):
 Why were you going through her phone? Her not locking it doesnt mean you have permission. Is that normal for a man your age who supposedly trusts his wife of 9 years? There is something fishy about this that you are not telling us. You paint her out as the bad one, which tells me you are not being honest about your own part in this.
Give more information and be honest, or else I cant answer this question.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2013): This is not normal at all. She's either cheating or contemplating it.
If she is dressing that way for work, there is a good chance the person she's cheating with is at work...
Don't let her off the hook for this.
She's a cheater. And, I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 November 2013):
 Well, personally, I think face shots are so overrated, and tagging vagina shots are the new rage on Facebook and Instagram. They're best taken in groups on vacation in Honolulu. My vagina shots even have them carrying a tiny umbrella drink as well!
Come on, you already know the answer to this. The answer is *no*, she's not taking the shots in order to send them to a plastic surgeon to go get her clitoris bronzed, or to a tattoo artist to draw a tiny Sarlacc Pit a la Return of the Jedi.
This is to send to some asshat of a guy, which means she's not only a cheater, but she's a stupid one. My 13-year old kid knows that sexting pictures is the dumbest idea in creation.
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A
male
reader, M Proops  +, writes (21 November 2013):
It certainly sounds like she is cheating.It sounds a very sordid thing to do but it sounds the kind of thing that would happen if that person was having a passionate sexual affair with someone.This is the kind of situation you see on the"Cheaters" television programme.Nothing is taboo between 2 people in a passionate affair.Keep a close eye on her now that you've been alerted.This is going to eat you up from the inside unless you tackle it head on.Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): I took pics similar to this but sent them to my boyfriend only. The only reason you might keep pics of your genitals is for medical reasons. The nature of what u describe does not fit that criteria.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): I am so sorry. That is certainly not normal, if I were to take pics like that, which I have, I would send them to my husband, which I also have... I mean the only explaination is that she is "talking" to someone online or at work, and doing this stuff for attention. Is your love life suffering, or have you been uninterested in sex? Either way it is NOT right, but it would give you some insight. Ylou know the saying if it walks like a duck, and "talks" like a duck, it probably is a duck? My best wishes to you and your family and I hope you can resolve this *hugs*
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (20 November 2013):
I would be a boatload that something is going on that you would definitely not approve of....
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 November 2013):
 umm so NOT normal.
I was a swinger... I was VERY open sexually and I NEVER took pictures of my privates on my phone at work or otherwise and never sent pictures of myself to anyone ever.
check the message logs on the phone (do it online if you can) to see if she's sending messages with attachments around the time of the pictures being taken.
I'd bet the farm she's at least emotionally cheating on you.
FWIW I tend to wear short skirts, thongs and dress sexy all the time (esp for a 53 yr old) but that alone does not mean I'm cheating. IF however, she has not always dressed that way and it's new behavior.. then that is another nail in her fidelity coffin.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 November 2013):
 I would give her the "benefit of the doubt"..... and ASSUME that she is doing it to advance her position at work, so that she can get a raise, and, thereby, get YOU a nicer present at Christmas... Just sayin'.....
Good luck. (You'll need it!!!!!)....
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (20 November 2013):
 She didn't do it just because "she wanted to", that's rubbish. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion and say that she's cheated/cheating on you but maybe she's going through a mid-life crisis and feels the need to re-affirm that she's young and sexy. I don't know, I'm just venturing a guess here. Maybe there's an attractive guy at work and she has a crush on him and is doing this to feel good about herself?
Still, I don't know why she took pictures of herself while she was masturbating...that's not normal, to say the very least. I'm guessing there's someone at work that she has the hots for and she was masturbating thinking about him.
Nope...I wouldn't let this go if I were you. You need to sit her down and have a talk.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 November 2013):
 Honestly, I can't see why she would take those pictures and keep them on her phone if she didn't intend on sending them to someone. If there was 1 or 2 I could MAYBE think that she got cold feet and didn't do it, but you said there were several. That doesn't bode well.
You have the dates and times of the pictures, should be easy to line it up with the call log. If she has nothing to hide she would WANT to prove to you that none was sent. The phone company can give you an "itemized" bill so it shouldn't be hard to see if she has been sending texts with "attachments" and to whom.
My guess is, she will get mad if you ask her to do this and turn it around on you, telling you that you are nuts and don't trust her.
IF she is indeed cheating, what do you plan to do, forgive her or divorce? Have you thought about that?
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A
female
reader, Solutionbee  +, writes (20 November 2013):
Hey kscdac.. If I may ask how has been ur sex life after three kids?? Have you been noticing ur wife just as a mom or also as someone who you started off dating...
Maybe she needs that man back in her life who sees her and appreciates her and makes her feel sexy and beautiful rather than someone who just treats her like a mom.. Analyse ur self first to determine what is missing in ur relationship that she has to go find it out some place else.... And than try having a talk with her about the phone guy.....
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (20 November 2013):
 It depends on what you want to do, before confronting her again, you decide whether if this is the end of the marriage. If you are afraid that you do not feel this is conclusive evidence, I suggest you let this go and start closely monitoring her, but again what you find - you need to know what you want. No point confronting and talking to her if you are convinced she is having an affair and you believe the marriage is over.
This must really hurt and feel like everything you believed is a lie, but there is more to life and start focusing on your kids and what's best for you and them.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (20 November 2013):
 She is most likely cheating I think hat is obvious. What you do about it is up to you. Try to be calm and talk to her without getting angry, find out what she feels is wrong with your relationship that means she needs to cheat. Maybe try relationship counselling.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): I also think she is cheating. I dont need photos of myself on my phone, i dont get off on my sexiness.
The change in behaviour is well, wearing thongs and tight cloths to work.
Sorry buddy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): I agree. Maybe she is sending them to nobody but I really doubt it. You are being totally reasonable to suspect she is sending them to someone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): You offer too much incriminating evidence for me to give you any encouraging words. It sounds like she is sending those pics to someone. Wearing sexier clothes to work doesn't seem necessary. Thongs should be worn only for your benefit. They don't seem like normal work attire.
Sorry, my friend. I believe your wife is cheating. That doesn't mean she is actually having sex with someone. It may be limited to sexting. The thong underwear part, I can't imagine what she could say in her defense to make that seem innocent.
What's worse is how she dismisses it. You've been married nine years, and you would know what's out of the ordinary.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): There is no way that she can tell you to let this go.
She is showing them to someone. Do you get off by taking photos of yourself? I hate to say this but there is something going on. Sorry this is happening to you.
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