A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I found a valentines card sent to my husband from another woman. hes never mentioned it as a joke.... what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (19 March 2007):
 If he's like every husband, he has probably forgotten about it one minute after it happened, didn't bother talking about it because it wasn't important and didn't hide it because he doesn't even remember getting it. You, however, are going to make yourself sick with worry unless you just come out and ask him. She could have sent them to everyone in the office. If that was not the case and she was hitting on him (and he was oblivious), send her a REALLY NICE thank you card from the TWO of you (or family picture even!).
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): Where did you find the card? What was the message? Why didn't he mention that he had received a one? something doesn't sound right to me and i wouldn't be too chuffed if i found a card, no matter what the message. He should of told you about it the minute he recieved it. What is he trying to hide? Getting a card on Valentines day, doesn't mean that he is cheating, it could mean that someone is playing a game and wants to cause trouble, so it may not be his fault and he could feel very uncomfortable about it. If that is the case then he should of said something and not tried to hide it. You need to have a chat with him about it and find out the outcome.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (19 March 2007):
 Hi,
Stina is so right, dont jump to any conclusion's. He could have a totally good explanation for not showing it to you. If he was worried about you finding it, wouldn't he have hid it better. If he is up to anything that would be a stupid thing to do, as to let you find it.
Ask him, thats all you can do. If he has a reasonable explanation for why he has kept it. You would have worried for nothing.
I think its better to face things full on. A man and wife should have no secrets from each other.
Best wishes XX
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (19 March 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
Since you don't say what the card has written in it, it's hard for me to tell you if what's written is a joke. Maybe it doesn't seem like it's a joke because the simple fact that he got any sort of card for that holiday has you getting all upset.
I think the best thing to do would be to ask your husband about the card. Do you have reason to believe he is cheating on you? Unless you do, I wouldn't worry about it too much. If he's faithful, then it doesn't matter who has a crush on him, etc - he can't help that, you know? Maybe he doesn't have anything going on with this girl, but didn't want to seem like a jerk and not accept her card. Some guys are push overs in this way because they don't want to hurt another woman. I know a few guys like this - maybe your husband is like this, too?
Anyway - like I said, I think you need to have a chat with your man about the card and who this other woman is - it will make you feel better, even if the answer isn't what you want to hear. Then you can figure things out from there. (I'm *NOT* saying that your husband is cheating, but it could be a possiblity - there aren't too many details about him on your post and I obviously don't know him so I can't make any sort of judgement about him at all.)
Take care.
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