A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ive-had-sex-with-a-woman-for-the.html)I wrote a question about my girlfriend who has an off putting fishy smelling vagina. Ok well I asked if it was normal to smell like that and I have done my reasearch and this is what I found out from various sources (they've all pretty much said the same thing):"The symptom of bacterial vaginosis that is very distinct is the fishy vaginal odour. Any woman with a fishy smelling discharge should seek medical advice,It also can make a woman extremely embarrassed during public or intimate situations.Women are also very likely to avoid intimate situations at all costs and will not reveal the reason why. This can lead to a great deal of increased stress to the woman and in the relationship.Bacterial vaginosis seems to be more common in women who have sex with women and there is some thought that it may be passed from one female partner to another. Bacterial vaginosis is more common in women with multiple sexual partners and may develops after sexual intercourse with a new partner. However, women who are not sexually active and also lesbian women can get bacterial vaginosis.Bacterial vaginosis appears more common in women who have had 3 or more male sexual partners (or at least one female sexual partner) during the preceding 12-month period.Bacterial vaginosis seems to be more common in women who have sex with women and there is some thought that it may be passed from one female partner to another."This explains a lot and now I AM Soooooo SCARED! I don't know what to do. How do I tell her? I don't want to get it, and I want to enjoy sex with her but more importantly, I want her to be healthy and I want to remain healthy....but how do I bring it up?"Babe, you know I like you and everything but you smell and you've got Bacterial vaginosis and you need to get it treated sharpish" I think she knows there is a problem (thats why she didn't let me go down on her last time). And when I asked her about it yesterday I could tell she was uncomfortable. :( I've only known her for 2 weeks by the way!!!HELP ME PLEASE, my health is at risk, but I really like her.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mum2be +, writes (27 March 2007):
Firstly, you should make sure that you have got your facts right... don't go telling her she's definately got this unless you are sure. Secondly, why are you shaggin* her if you have only known her 2 weeks?
Thirdly, if you do feel close enough for a sexual relationship with her, then you should be able to tell her... sensitively.
Make sure she knows you are into her, and that you are concerned for her health.
Just so you are aware, poor personal hygiene is sometimes the reason for distinctly 'Fishy' smells, so find out about her hgiene routine as if you see there is a problem there, you could encourage her to wash... perhaps with you in the shower with you etc.
all the best
xxx
A
female
reader, Lemonpixie  +, writes (23 March 2007):
 Maybe find a pamphlet or print out the symptoms and leave them somewhere she can find them w/o knowing it was you who left them. And hopefully she will deal with it herself. I think i would die if the guy i was seeing for only 2 weeks said something about that. So maybe send an anonymous email with a new account on yahoo or something... Try to go the anon route first if it doesnt work than say something
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (23 March 2007):
 Hi,
There are long term problems with Bacterial Vaginosis, it can cause pregnancy problems, abnormal Pap smears, abnormal vaginal bleeding and urinary tract infections. UTI's can lead to kidney infections. You have been doing a lot of research, you know it's possible that you could be infected too, so you both really need to see your Doctors. Instead of approaching the tricky problem of how to tell her with fear because you are grossed out and scared for your health, try to think of it in this way - It's obvious from both of your letters that you Really care about this woman and you are very attracted to her. You have been tied up in knots about this problem so it's very apparent that she means a lot to you. I think if she knew That, And that you care enough to tell her, to care for her and her future health - That would be something that a loving future partner would do! If the shoe was on the other foot - How would you feel? I'd be so hurt if someone didn't tell me because it wasn't easy, because they would be putting their discomfort over my health. Just find a time to get together with her, maybe ask her to your place for coffee, no distractions. "I care about you and I think that we need to talk" - and then tell her about all your research. It won't be easy or comfortable but you will be doing what's best for her. If the worst happens and she takes it badly, she's probably not open enough to be a good partner for you and you'll have no regrets because you did the right thing. I don't know if this helps, hope it did. Good Luck, I hope things work out for you both and please see your doctor. P.S. You could also lie, say you gave it to her and get her to the Doctor that way. But you should never start a relationship based on a lie. Just a thought.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (23 March 2007):
 Hi
You have only known her for two weeks, and you feel you know her well enough to go down there but not to tell her there is a problem. Although I am sure that the information you have been given is true, I would also like to tell you that the common name (Thrush)which is probably what she has, can be caused by an un-balance in your vagina. This can be caused by anti-biotics, and various other medicines. And may not have been sexually transmited. Go see your doctor.
However, you are more than likely now carrying this as well. Dont worry it's easily treated, by taking one small tablet. It will be gone in couple of days, but you must both take this tablet at the same time. Go to your doctors and they will prescribe it for you.
Please tell the poor girl, she will thank you in the end.
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A
female
reader, chrissy32789 +, writes (23 March 2007):
 Dear anonymous writer,
I read the last question you wrote and its good to know you did research on it, now to this question..i belive in the last question you wrote you did tell her that the was an order down there, but now you have to explain to her that she needs medical help, if she is comfortable around you and you can talk to her about anything it is going to be hard but just be like
Babe i like you and all but we need to talk about something, im not trying to pick on you but i think you should go to the obgyn to get checked there is an order that is comming from your vigina and i want to make sure you are ok and that there isnt nothing wrong with you, tell her its nothing against her and women have this happen and explain to her what you have read... that should work cause if my future husband would keep it from me that my vigina stinks and i couldnt figure out why he didnt want to go down on me then i would be upset...i would be embressed when he told me but when i find out hes just looking out for me and not making me fun of me then i would be happy...i hope i helped
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