A
female
age
36-40,
*Hurtand Confused*
writes:I need some true help!My boyfriend of almost a year has suddenly begun to change his attitude towards me. I think he is cheating and I even know with who. I ask him about it and he just says that they hang out and I shouldnt "trip" on it. Problem is they hang out when I am at work and she is always calling or leaving him emails. I have confronted her also but she swears nothing has happened but that I just shouldn't trust him. He takes her to parties and leaves me at home with his child. Yesterday he found out that i had confronted her and now he is mad at me for causing drama, but do I not have the right to be pissed. i mean he doesnt wanna hang out with me or anything and he will usually leave me at home to go to his friends and stay for hours without calling. All the signs say he's cheating and I know this but maybe I am just paranoid. And whenever i think of us seperating I get very emotional and depressed. I really need some advice and what to do. Talking with him wont help cause he always does that reverse pyschology thing on me and turns the tables. He calls me the whore or the liar and I have never even looked at another guy. And if i do go to a party with him, he accuses me of looking at other guys but right in front of me he talks to girls and tells everyone I am his roommate!!!!! Please give me some advice of what to do. My mind tells me to kick him to the curb but emotionally I am having problems with that. Am I being over paranoid?????? PLease help!!!!!!!
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at work, depressed, liar, roommate Reply to this Question
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female
reader, *Hurtand Confused* +, writes (9 April 2007):
*Hurtand Confused* is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, thanks for all the input on this situation. Since I wrote this, I did kinda put some of my feelings out there. He doesnt talk to the girl much anymore(she actaully has a b'f now)whatever....and like he hasnt gotten angry and when we go out in public he actually shows affection. Its kinda scary cause he hasnt acted this way in a while. Dont get me wrong I love the attention but I do still have my gaurd up...I know that this might only be a phase....And to all that asked whether the child was mine.....she's not...but I love that little girl to death! I am slowly seeing my way out but I wanna make sure its thr right choice before I leap.......
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (2 April 2007):
 Hi,
Maybe I got the wrong end of the stick, do you mean the child is not yours as well. If so what are you doing honey. Surely you can see that this guy is a complete sh**. I understand completly, how hard it is for you to leave, but for goodness sake, its so obvious he is using you. Why are you putting yourself through this hell, and staying with a two timing complete Jerk. Yes I do think he is up to something, and quite honestly, the sooner you leave the better. If that child is yours as well, you owe it to her/him not to bring it up with this man. What kind of influence do you think you are giving a child letting him do this to you.
I hope you will sit, and get angry, and maybe cry. But then think about it all, and realise there is a better life waiting for you.
please listen to us all, he is not worth the dirt on your shoe.
In fact I would love to kick his arse as well XXX
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A
female
reader, elsie +, writes (2 April 2007):
 how absolutely horrible for you.its the very low self esteem that you feels now thats allowing you to put up with this i know ive been there myself.he has found the weakness in you and is using it to exploit you.we wouldnt put up with our friends talking and treating us like these jerks do.why do we do it?you think youve got something to lose.dont do what ive done and wait till you totally hate him.he will only drag you down further and further.hes up to no good.he cant be reasoned with.he calls you his ROOMMATE????????sounds like a real charmer.bet hes got a real deep seated woman hating problem.let him practice his skills on someone else like this other girl.what the hell does she mean they arent up to anything but you cant trust him anyways?why exactly???if shes not the one hes carrying on with then you can bet your last pound she knows who is.or is it her cowardly way of getting rid of you.hes a woman hater honey get rid of him.
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A
female
reader, Lia +, writes (23 March 2007):
 I think you know deep down in your heart that it's time to throw this jerk to the curb and drive away! You're not being paranoid. In fact, you're spot on- the signs are all there. And if he's telling other people that you're his roommate, well that is a slap in the face if there ever was one. In other words - that's your que to leave. Seriously. Do you want to be with a guy who treats you badly, calls you nasty names and doesn't want to shout out to the world that he is with you? You deserve respect and that's what relationships are about. I know it's hard to leave a relationship, but if you don't you'll never be happy. Let's face it: you are not happy now, and that's the most important part of any relationship. You shouldn't be stuck with a guy who is just wasting your time and making you feel bad about yourself. My suggestion to you is to speak into a tape recorder about your relationship, what your boyfriend does, etc, and then listen to it. You'll see that all the major warning signs are shouting you in the face! I think it's time to choose yourself over this guy. You're worth it, he isn't.
Let us know how it goes, okay?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007): Awww! What a slimeball! Im sorry, but he is not for you sweetheart! You deserve someone else, you really do. All the things in your email pojnt to him taking full advantage of you and you need to get out of that relationship ASAP. The sooner you take action and move on, the sooner you will be over him and into something meaningful and rewarding.
You are worth so much!....yet he doesnt know it. Dont let him undervalue you, have some selfrespect, hold your head high and tell him hes single!
We are all here to help you get through every stage of this, so talk to us anytime!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007): He calls you a whore?! Leave him and find someone who won't disrespect you by calling you such horrible names! especially when he's the one in the wrong not you! It'll be hard at first but you will find someone who loves you and treats you right like you deserve and you, and your child, will be alot better off. Good Luck x
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A
male
reader, ANOYMOUS1 +, writes (22 March 2007):
Forget this guy. He is just stringing you along. Break up with him and find someone else. He is a person who cannot be trusted. I know it hard to breakup withsomeone but there are better people out there. What I would do if I were youis break up with him and just ignore. Make yourself better by being untouchable. Do things that you enjoy and soon you will find someone.All the best
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 March 2007):
 Heck no you are not being paranoid. He basically flaunting it in your face, my dear. Yes you need to kick him to the curb. It may hurt at first but not too far down the road you'll look back and wonder why you put up with this crappy treatment for so long. You and the child will be just fine and I'm sure that there is a nice guy who will treat you like a queen just waiting for your paths to cross.
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