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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi everyone, would really appreciate some advice.my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years dumped me just before Christmas. We had a long distance relationship but it was very serious. He ended it as we were having some problems and he just couldnt see it working long term any more.I was devastated and kept hoping he would change his mind. I called him and cried and begged him, but he was adamant. We then became 'friends' where we had email contact maybe a couple of times a week. I finally gave up when I heard three weeks ago that he was seeing someone new. Since then have cut him out of my life completely and feel better for it. Am seeing other people ( though not really bothered about them) and finally moving on.However, the way we met was that he is best friends with one of my best friends. I havent seen my ex since we split as he lives in a different country. But its our friends 30th birthday in a couple of weeks and i just heard that my ex is coming over for it. What do I do? How do i cope with this? I know we will never get back together, but the only way i have moved on is by pretending he doesnt exist. The thought of him with his new girlfriend is awful. I CANT not go to our friends birthday as a) I will look pathetic and b) he is one of my best mates and I really want to be there. But everyone will be watching me to see how I am coping and pitying me, and I cant deal with it. It will be so weird to see him and not be with him. Does anyone have any advice for me? I have every intention of being supercool etc and smiling and friendly and happy, but I know from experience that it doesnt always pan out like that.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): Hey Sweetheart, this is such a tough situation, I really feel for you, especially as I was broken up with at Christmas too and like you I emailed and called and pleaded in vain!
I too have decided to pretend he doesn't exist and it seems to be working, but if I had a party coming up like you have I would also be scared!
One idea I can think of is to take a really attractive male friend as your 'date' for the evening! Have you got someone who you could ask? That way your ex will see you with someone else, and you won't feel so bad should he bring the new lady!
Alternatively have you got any way of confirming if this new girlfriend is coming? I think t would be tremendously bad form of him to bring her along so soon after you two have split up, maybe he isn't planning on bringing her. Perhaps you could ask your friend whose party it is?
Finally, you could make an appearence at the party and not stay too long. That way you have not let your friend down but also not had to put up with a long evening with your ex there as well! Im sure your friend will understand if you explian, any friend worth their salt would completely understand how you are feeling so give it a try.
PS. I would really pamper yourself before this party and make sure that you feel and look fantastic, it will really help you! When you get home after you can pour a glass of wine and sigh but hold your head up while you're there and don't let this ex get the better of you! Show him what he's missing and that it's his loss!!!!! xxx
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (19 March 2007):
 Hi,
It will probably be really awkward for you I know, but if you can keep a stiff upper lip, and try to be cool about it, I believe you will have past a mile stone. How do you know how you will feel, maybe it wont bother you quite as much as you think. Try to be positive, and just get through the evening. Enjoy seeing your friends, but dont drink to much. I say this because we all get more emotional when we are drunk. And thats the last thing you will want to be. You be, as cool as a cucumber, even if you dont feel like it. And once this evening is over, you will be so proud of yourself. You wait and see.
Go and have a great time XX
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A
female
reader, ADELE14 +, writes (19 March 2007):
you can do it show him that you dont need him your strong and you can do it if you walk past him smile and say good moring or eving or wat va it is wen he sees you he will be comeing runing bak x x x x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): If I were you I'd go to the party with the most gorgeous guy you can find, even hire a date for the night if you have to, somebody you know will lavish attention on you for your ex to see what he's missing. Keep smiling and show how happy you are, best way to get over what he has done, no need to tell anybody that you will be bringing a new man, just imagine their faces, and your ex's. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): I think when you see him you should treat him any other friend and if his new girlfriend is with him, introduce yourself as his friend. Its gonna be tough but if you feel you cope by yourself try to bring someone with you that will help to keep your mind of him like a really good friend, of the opposite sex even better.
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