A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My relationship of 18 months has been fading for several months. I am as committed as I was in the beginning but she says that I am smothering her and needs time apart. There has been a tremendous lack of intimacy and she is unable to explain why? She requested a break to sort things out within her and to try to get things back to where they were. Is this something that I should walk away from or do you think that there is something to be salvaged from this relationship. She says she loves me and I believer her but is love enough? Do you think that time will heal our relationshi?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2007): Hey man,
I am going through the exact same thing and I'm not getting any better results than you. I have talked to my ex and she is so confusing. She says that she still loves me, but doesn't want to get back together. She already had a little fling with another guy for about a week which made it hurt even worse. She said that he was just a rebound, but I don't know if I could ever get back together with her after all that's happened. I want to make the pain go away, but I'm afraid that it never will even if she came back and said that she made a huge mistake and wanted to get back together. What's done is done and I don't think that she can do anything to reverse that. I just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one out there that is going through this.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (27 March 2007):
 Hi,
I hate to say this, but do you know if there is anyone else involved. (I hope i am wrong).
Sometimes you can love someone but not want to be with them, thats really hard on the other person. But all you can do is take a step back and let her get on with what-ever problem she seems to have. If there is no-one else she may realise what she has lost and come back to you. But either way you should distance yourself from her, and get on with your own life.
I know it would be nice if it was that easy to let go, and I realise that its not. But its down to you, you have a choice. Let it be your choice to walk away and give her space, and if she wants to come back and then its to late, that will be her tuff luck.
You will cope much better if you show her you wont go to peices, if your not to-gether.
I hope this isn't to hard.
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A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (27 March 2007):
 I think you 2 have grown apart, I think she isn't content in this relationship, maybe she feels she's missing out on something?
The only way to decide whether to make or break this relationship is to talk.
You need to ask her to be honest with you and whether she wants anything long term with you. Then unfortunatly you will have to walk away if thats what she wants. If I was you, I would give her some space and spend your time with mates and having fun. Maybe some time apart will make her realise whats she's missing. Only time will tell, but don't sit there waiting for her to come to a decision.
Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, Jiser +, writes (27 March 2007):
 Now is the time to re invent yourself and your life. This is for yourself and no one else. Be that fun bubbly person you once were and give her the space she has asked for.
1) Please abide by no contact - ignorance is bliss (not sure if this is possible in your circumstances)
2) Go out and have a gr8 time with your friends (party)
3) Date other women if possible and flirt big time (nothing serious)
4) Ever wanted to do something in your life like travel, a hobby or see a band you've always wanted to see? - Now is the time!
5) Its gonna hurt for a while - but trust me your not alone, most people on this planet have gone through the pain your going through right now and whatever didn't kill them made them stronger and wiser.
6) Treat this as a life experience and be glad it happened to you now and not when you had children or were more commited
7) Never be Dependant on anyone else apart from yourself as you really are the only person who can make your life what it is
8) Your gf/ex needs space so give it the best revenge is to be happy yourself
9) You may be friends again or you may get back together but at the moment you have to let go and move on with your life, you have only one life so don't wait your entire life for something.
10) Here is a quote to make you think: The greatest effort is not concerned with results :]
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A
female
reader, Johansson +, writes (27 March 2007):
When she is saying she needs a break, it could be because of two reason. She may be head over heals in love with you and is scared that if she spends too much time with you, you may end up breaking her heart once you realise that she is so in love with you. The second reason could be that she may want to try and be with someone else but still feels that she needs you incase it doesnt work out with the other person. Talk to her about how this makes you feel and if ity goes on just walk away and if she cares for you she will realise what she has los and hopefully come back to her senses.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2007): I think you should let her have some of her own time, girls need some time alone to do girlie things! I would never contemplate shaving my legs or bikini lin einfront of my b/F I have my own time to do that.
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