A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am Hiv positive and have been positive for 10 years now I recently met this nice and awesome guy whom iv dated for 2 months now he always says he’s afraid of Hiv and he would never date a positive woman(he has never tested in his life) I don’t know if I should just end things with him or tell him please help, I'm confused...
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2013): I think you should tell him. See where it goes. My bf had slept with one of my bestfriends about 7 months before we got together, and i know she has an std . Yet i really liked him and didnt care because i knew he was my one no matter what . He still is . He's made many mistakes in our relationship. And i still wouldnt go back and change my decision . You never know he may be able to look past it like i have.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 February 2013):
 You must tell him and be prepared for him to end it. It's not fair but it's the way it is... some folks can cope some can't... and his choice is not a reflection on your worth as a person.
FWIW, my BIL is HIV positive and has been for many many MANY years... my brother is HEP-C positive and has been for 25 years already... they do not have a celibate marriage and neither of them passes their illness to the other...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2013): Tell him. You have to. Then he can decide what he wants to do. Don't walk away when there might be a chance.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 February 2013):
 I think there's a "middle ground" here....
Whilest HIV has its many complications.... suppose you and he met "on line"... and he said he would never date a black, or Jewish woman.... and you were black or Jewish... would you 'fess up, then, and see where the cards fell?
Tell him that you are HIV positive... and see how he reacts... IF he sez: "Well, that means there can never be anything between us.." then you've learned that before your feelings for him can grow any more intense..... BUT..
... suppose he sez: "Geesh, I really like you (too!) - a lot! - and I guess it might make sense for the two of us to see if we can agree on being friends - maybe partners - and see how the two of us might proceed under those circumstances, with this oh-so complicating matter out in the open...."
Give it a try.... it costs nothing to "test the waters"...
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2013): I really think you should tell him it's not fair to be with this person and you haven't gave him the truth about you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 February 2013):
 If you really like the guy I would tell him, I mean what are you going to do when he wants to have sex with you? Use protection and hope for the best?
The thing is though, if you tell him, he might leave, there is always that possibility, but if you DO NOT tell him that would be dishonest and deceitful.
Another thing is HE would be carrying other STD's that can give YOU complications with your health - so I suggest if you are seriously considering dating people, date people who get them self tested before they engage in a relationship of a sexual nature.
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A
female
reader, Kindpigeonette  +, writes (5 February 2013):
I have a fear of HIV as well. Noting that it can stay dormant and undetected for up to 10+ years, PLEASE for his sake, if he is a really nice and awesome guy...end it and DO NOT tell him you are HIV positive unless you haven't had sex yet. It is nothing personal against you, but a fear of contracting HIV. You are going to have to have sex some day if you are dating, and if you do he will probably contract it eventually (if not the first time). Can you imagine how resentful he will feel? He will probably spend the rest of his life blaming himself for having "wished it upon himself" and of course hate you. It has only been two months so end it NOW. PLEASE!!!
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