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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl. Most people lose their virginity when they are teenagers and keep getting busy after that. i don't understand how i can have a successful relationship if i am not experienced and someone else is very far ahead of me. I have seen a lot of girls cheat on their boyfriends because he was not a good enough lover despite their best efforts and because i am not experienced i am bad by default. and they really are not interested in teaching a guy so this adds to an already present problem.i am too afraid to approach a girl because of my insecurities and it is starting to get to me.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (5 February 2013):
 Believe me, OP, there is a delightful girl "out there"... .who you are going to encounter.... (who KNOWS how "experienced" she will be?)..... BUT, she will be charmed by your inexperience, and will be so pleased and excited to meet a guy who is not all in to himself, and conniving to get her in to bed (that guy is YOU!)....
.... and what you and she share together will make all your concerns evaporate... and you and she will have many, many great times together.... I guarantee it!!!!
Good luck....
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2013): This is the OP @ Sageoldguy1465
How can i be ahead of them? they know what they are doing and are confident about it. where as i am still shy and embarrassed by the little things like holding hands and showing intimacy
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): Hi,I am a 22-year-old female and just got out of my first relationship of a year. I had never done anything with a guy before, while my ex had been with several girls in long-term relationships (he was 28 years old).Unfortunately, I felt that I really was behind him, in every way. His past relationships had given him confidence and expectations that I simply didn't have. I also had to do a lot of work undoing damage from my parents/childhood (doesn't everyone?), and he had already figured that stuff out for himself. Finally, I had a really, really hard time accepting that he had had previous partners. Trust me, that is not something you want to keep thinking about and visualizing. I guess that was my problem, but I couldn't handle it anymore.So, my advice to you-- Some girls will be really excited to date a virgin. But I suggest you find a virgin for yourself. I genuinely believe it will make things better for you if you do.I also would suggest that you move slowly...my ex and I had sex too soon, and even moved in together, which I regret now. He was ready for those things but I really was not. There are a lot of things to figure out in a relationship...the important thing is that you find someone that you can work together with!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 February 2013):
What makes you think that sexually-experienced people are "ahead" of you.... Has it ever occurred to you that, just maybe, they are "behind" you.... and YOU are in the lead???????
Be patient..... Mother Nature has a way of levelling off the playing field.....
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): I lost my virginity when I was 17, my girlfriend at the time was not a virgin by a long shot and she was also older than me. We went on to be in a healthy relationship for several years later.
Whatever you heard about the type of girls you mentioned in your post, that will only be a minority of girls I'm sure. I'd say to lesson the chance of falling prey to a girl that won't take you seriously, is to try and opt for a relationship with someone who is also a virgin, so you're both at the same level of things, learning at the same pace.
Another option would be to find a 'F*ck buddy', that way you can gain some experience with someone who won't expect anything else from you other than a bit of casual sex here and there.
There are girls who like to show guys the ropes for a change lol.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (4 February 2013):
You are thinking too much about this. Yes there are girls who want an experienced guy, but there are plenty who are more interested in what type of person you are than how much experience you have in bed. You're just choosing to see the negative aspects of your situation and look where it's got you.
My first adult girlfriend (my first sexual relationship although I wasn't a virgin) was quite a bit more experienced than me, but she cared about me and worked with me to enhance our sex life.
You can't be afraid to be honest about your virginity, that way you have an understandable excuse. Also treat it as a learning experience. Ask questions (not too many) and learn to read her body language to see what she likes. If you care about making her happy that's a good first step.
People have all sorts of preferences when it comes to their mates. Height/weight/intelligence/charisma/etc. Sex is one of those but there are so many others that make a complete package that you don't need to worry about being perfect at every one of them. Just
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