A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I started dating this guy who's really sweet and nice but I found out that before we met he was posting looking for no strings sex in the casual sex ads on Craigslist which I'm a little freaked out about. (he didn't tell me, I kind of stumbled on it when I was randomly googling stuff like the "missed connections" just for fun to see if there's anyone I know) I check to make sure theres nothing on there now and there isn't but was that a gross thing to do? Most guys I know don't do that, they just get drunk at a bar and try to get someone to come home with them or go on a dating site like Plenty of Fish. So is this a red flag that his guy is some kind of weird pervert even though he's been extremely nice to me? Or did he just desperately need sex and it was too much work to play the game to get it? It kind of embarrasses me I guess because I don't know if anyone else I know has seen his pics on this thing. I don't want to be that girl everyones laughing at like when guys date a girl that everyone else knows is a whore but them. What should I do?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 February 2013):
 if it's the past I'd let it go.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): I don't think some of the posters caught the part BEFORE the two of you met. That was before your time. Only be concerned with the present. If he is not doing it now, it shouldn't be a concern. We all have pasts. I would suggest to enjoy him and your budding relationship. You have to accept the good the bad and the ugly when you're dating someone. If you want that from him you have to reciprocate. No need for embarrassment. If you like him isn't that all that matters? Why would you care about people comments behind you're back? People like that have no life! They are only worried about others. Best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (4 February 2013):
I have to say I disagree with Honeypie on this one. How is someone going out to the bar and trying to get lucky with a one-night stand different from someone posting to get no-strings attached sex? So will the guy that goes out to get one-night stands stop when he is in a relationship? If anything I think the guy posting for no-strings attached sex is being honest and up front about his intentions. He isn't going out and talking girls up, plying them with drinks and taking advantage of girls insecure after a breakup or whatever. He isn't feeding them lines and making them think there's a connection or something when all he wants is sex. He is saying right up front what he wants and what someone will get if they are interested.
Also, how do you know that most guys you know don't do that? If they did, is it all that likely that they would advertise it? There are more and more sites for finding casual sex partners - like adultfriendfinder and fling, etc. And it's generally not something that you tell other people.
It might have been a bit indiscreet of him to post pics on this for anyone to see. I think most of the time people don't include head shots and will only exchange pics after emailing or messaging a bit. If you are too ashamed of him for this, then let him go. But I don't think it's that big of a deal. Because really, how different is looking for sexual partners online from online dating? Or would you look down on online daters for not going out and "playing the game" to find dates in person?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): If I didn't know better, I'd swear this guy was being judged for his sexual past.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 February 2013):
 You take a moment out of ear-shot of anyone else.... like in the back seat of his '56 Chevy, out at Makeout Point .... and you say: "You know, Hunchy-Bunchy, I happened to see that you were on (Web-site name, here) looking for NSA sex.... and it got me to wondering how THAT fits in with our budding "relationship....." Would you care to 'splain that to me?"
The answer you get, to that question, will give you all the information that you need to proceed.....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 February 2013):
 Honestly, either someone is taking the Mickey out of him or this is not something new to him.
I would NOT date a guy who is looking for NSA sex ANYWHERE. I'd end it, the sooner the better (for your sake). Do you think that he will STOP posting adds cause he is dating you?
Him posting this add has NOTHING to do with you - you are NOT to feel guilty or embarrassed - this is all on him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): It stinks of desperation to me. I bet he never got any replies to his ad. If you can live with the thought that your boyfriend gets desperate then good for you.
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