A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, basically I have a problem at work. From the moment I met my boss, I thought he was familiar and I couldn't place my finger on it, I still can’t. The thing is he's always stared at me, and made a point of talking to me. He made me feel I had to go to the Christmas party, and hinted at buying me a dress as I had no money but couldn’t say it in front of everyone as he would have to buy them all dresses. He only got upset when I said I wouldn’t go, not when anyone else said they wouldn’t. He calls me the flower of their lives (as in everyone at the office) and one day I tried to play down the flirting and said oh your like my dad but he replied 'as long as you do as your told' he always puts *x or *xx at the end of his texts or FaceBook messages, but not to any of the others girls at work. I recently walked out of work as I was unhappy, and he messaged me saying he was upset and gutted that I didn’t say goodbye and wants me back and doesn’t want to lose a great employee, he is bending over backwards to get me to come back, he said I was bubbly but couldn't get his words out as he said it and almost sounded like he tried to say beautiful. The thing is he is engaged and has been for 5 years and has 2 kids? But he basically ignored his fiancé at the Christmas do. I text him last night and said “I need to talk to you" and he said "ok I'll text you when I’m out of office, so there’s no ears around. He then text me at 11.30pm saying "sorry *my name* just got in from work, what was up x". So what should I do, tell him? Or am I reading too much into it? Go back to work? Or wait for fate to take its roll? WHAT DO I DO?!??! PLEASE HELP ME!!!
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female
reader, Kindpigeonette  +, writes (6 February 2013):
1. He has been engaged for 5 years (weird anyone?)2. He is old enough to be your dad, so I'm guessing he's around 40+ (nothing against age differences, but this combined with everything else? Hmmm).3. He is flirting with one of his employees4. He is flirting with someone who could be 18 (you don't state your age) and still in high school.5. He is flirting with someone who is not his fiancé. 6. He disrespects his fiancé in public (imagine alone).Maybe you knew him in a past life, but that doesn't mean it was a good thing. You never told us why you asked to talk with him or your response. Does it really matter though what you say or why?The bottom line is that he is in a relationship and has 2 kids. I think you already know what kind of person he is.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (5 February 2013):
 Point 1: IF you like the job you have... then you could return to it.... BUT the prospects are that you will have to rebuff this cad so firmly that he will see to it that you don't stay in that job until/unless you succumb to his advances.....
POINT 2: Far more informative is this, which you wrote about him: "The thing is he is engaged and has been for 5 years and has 2 kids? But he basically ignored his fiancé at the Christmas do."
So... here is the real "smoking gun." See... this guy is a RAT who doesn't take committments seriously (engaged 5 years... Plus w/2 children? Smells pretty foul to me!)....AND, he's willing to flirt with you whilest this "fiance" and Mother of his kids is being slighted, demeaned, disrespected and all the other ill-behaviours that RATS exhibit. IS THIS REALLY THE KIND OF MAN THAT YOU'D WANT TO SPEND EVEN 15 MINUTES WITH?????
You can have a much happier life at another job, and without such a jerk for a boss.....
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, Gmmick +, writes (5 February 2013):
This situation sounds volatile. Sounds like you have an attraction to him as much as you think he does for you. If he is with someone else, as a decent person you would owe it that other woman to stay away. Stealing another person's love is one of the lowest things a person can do. As you said let fate take its course and let him decide if he wants to stay with her or not first. If he truly feels so deeply for you he will end things with her promptly and properly. As for work, no need to go back unless its strictly for monetary or career reasons. You should never make career decisions based on the hopes of fostering a personal relationship
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