A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HiMy bf of 3 years didnt contact me for a week, tod he called me and said he was busy. Thats it no explanation watsver for his behaviour and no aplologies and now he is not picking up his call again. I know he is not treating me right. I want to leave him before it kills me, but dont know how. I couldnt leave him, its like im his doormat, i dont want to be, but couldnt help being his beck and call. Please help me, what should i do Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 February 2013):
 He’s already left you dear one. NO contact for a week, and then a phone call to say he’s busy.
It’s clear he broke up with you and is too chicken to say so. He’s hoping you will just fade into the woodwork. That’s going to be painful for you but it’s the best thing to do now. In fact, in the long run it will hurt less than if you drag this out….
Do not call him. IN fact, delete his number and block it on your phone. Delete and block his email. Unfriend him on social media. Blocking him would be best but I know that is hard to do.
You are not in love with this man. YOU are however, in love with your idea of what he could be. NEVER LOVE A MAN’S POTENTIAL. You are setting yourself up for great heartbreak as he will never live up to what you believe him to be.
Paula4u makes a great suggestion and I’ve used it before…draw a line down the middle of the page make a list of all the good things about the relationship on one side. Yes you may push the envelope and list small things. Then on the right side of the page you make a list of all the bad things.
Also making a separate list of what are you deal breakers may help. Is a man that contacts you every 48 hours or more important? If so, he’s not meeting that criterion.
A
female
reader, Paula4u  +, writes (4 February 2013):
 Make a list of plus and minus points.. which bit is the largest? That should answer your own heart. xxx
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (4 February 2013):
Leaving someone can feel difficult but it's actually very easy. You're probably just afraid of being alone.
If you live with him make a plan to leave (make it as simple as if the two of you were roommates) and follow the plan. Then don't tell him where you're going and either change your phone number or block his. Don't contact him after that.
If you don't live with him then tell him you're done, don't bother contacting you and then block his number.
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (4 February 2013):
Imagine a life with your ideal partner, what do you want from him? Marriage? Kids? Breakfast in bed? Hosting family and friends for Christmas? And then try to imagine your bf in that role. Would he be there at the wedding? You're in your dress frantically calling him and he isn't picking up. Your kids are sick and you need him to help you take care of them or meet you at the hospital - no answer from him.
You can't leave him? Think about what you want and need from a partner, and think about whether or not your bf can meet those. If you can't, you are just setting yourself up for a lifetime of hurt and disappointment. Don't you think you deserve more?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 February 2013):
 Do you and he live at the same address?
IF "yes," then pack all your things and GO SOMEWHERE ELSE - NOW!!!!! - AND STAY "SOMEWHERE ELSE"..... and NEVER return to where you were....
If "no," then stay where you are.... never go near this creep again.... never speak to him... never write him a polite letter - or any other kind of letter.... have NO communication(s) with him....
.... and GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE, WITHOUT HIM!!!!
Simple, no?
Good luck....
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