A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I am 29, and this is my third year with my boyfriend, who is 7 years older and divorced 4 years before we met, he has 1 child. When we met we just had a good connection in terms of interests, personality, company, chemistry, everyting was there. But I don't think he was quite over the divorce, looking back, he used to talk about the ex and the ex's parents and how they spent holidays and a variety of other things as if he couldn't talk without referring to that time in his life, although he had been divorced for a couple of years already. He does not do that anymore, he talks about his son but in terms of what they, or sometimes me also, have been doing and he talks about life in general, the change is obvious to me. But now I feel as if I am exhausted by that time that it seems he was still getting over it, and being patient and a good listener and I feel as if now that we have come through that I don't want to stay with him, almost as if I am now getting angry about something we went through which no longer happens and which ended a year ago. Surely I should have ben angry then not now? Th only other problem we have is that money is tight and we can't afford to get married right now, but it is not something we fight about. We are not engaged yet officially and no ring, but that is what we want.
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female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (9 February 2013):
I woud like you to ask yourself ONE question that is IS the magic gone from your relationship. When you answer this question then i feel it will be easier to sort out the other problems.Best WISHES .NORA B.
A
female
reader, Cripes +, writes (9 February 2013):
You need to open up to him, and tell him how hard that period was for you, and get it off your chest. Not in a blamey way - as you say, he was just getting over it and it has no bearing on how he feels about you - just tell him how much it hurt, have a little cry, and let him apologise and try to make it up to you.
Say you're sorry for bringing it up now, but at the time you wanted to be strong and support him, and now things are good between you and you can finally express how hard it was. Tell him you love him and be honest. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (7 February 2013):
 You write: "...we can't afford to get married right now.."... and, "...The only other problem we have is that money is tight and we can't afford to get married right now, but it is not something we fight about. We are not engaged yet officially and no ring, but that is what we want...."
What does it "cost" to get married?? I suspect that the license is a few Euros, or pounds-Sterling.... and, maybe, you are required to have blood tests (It's to expose STDs, if either of you is carrying them...)..... Beyond that, what is the "cost"???
Marriage is a joining of partners.... not a leveraged buy-out. IF you and he are in-love, and believe that you should be married and spend the rest of your lives together, then have at it (go ahead and get married)... and don't claim that you "can't afford it"....
P.S. I'll cheerfully advance you the few bucks for the license....
Good luck....
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