A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I been seeing a guy for a while, we are not a couple but we get along well, we like each other and we enjoy together. He was living in a place with other people but their lease finished so he asked me if he can move to mine. I agreed with it but I told him I am not living alone, I share the place with 3 others, 2 girls, 1 boy. I explained to him also about how much the rent, bills and rules. The people that I live with are very respectable, they are young and we all work, we all respect each other, and we have a great armony between us.So the very first day that he moved in I caught him spying one of my female roomies when she was getting ready to work, she was dressing... she wasn't naked but he was just staring at her like never saw that before. So I decided to not get crazy about it, and let it go but since I saw him doing that I got this weird feeling, I accepted I was jealous also but I didn't say a word. So then the next day the same girl was taking a shower and I caught him behind some courtains trying to see her again. I dont know but something inside told me thats going to be a big trouble if he continues in this place and I just took a deep breath and I told him "I am sorry but I think is better for you to find a new place", he was shocked, I told him "Look I dont trust you, I can't live with this feeling here. I caught you twice spying my roomies and I cant tolerate this. I find this very bad from you since we are having something together even sharing the same bed but you spying my female roomies is disgusting and I don't want it in my own place." He got angry saying I'm crazy and I am weird bc I was so nice before then I changed to evil..I just left the house and that was enough..I wanted to cry because I felt betrayed from him, from his behavior and I don't like that.When I came back he was still here but I saw all his stuff packed already then he said "Im so hungry and I have some food here but need to be cooked.." I said, you can use the kitchen if you want...And then out of the blue he asked me "Can you cook?" ....I got soo very angry I wanted to slap his face..I just took my bag and I told him you better leave this place before I come back.." He left some stuff here, like little boxes and bags and he will come some day...Never heard from him since then. I am very hurt but I am very naive I think. I saw him like a good guy but he's not. I am mad at me I have mix feelings.I dont know If I over react, why I feel like this?I don't understand myself feeling that sad...
View related questions:
jealous, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2013): No, you didn't over react. You did the right thing, protecting your friend. I'm sure if she knew what he did, she also wouldn't want him living there. Who wants a perv spying on them all the time? And if you'd let him keep living there, it probably only would have been a matter of time before he tried to make a move on her. Then you would have been more hurt, because you would have invested even more time in him. Plus, your friend would have been angry with you for knowing about his spying, and not saying anything to him before it got out of hand.
Anyhow, you've made your decision, so don't look back. I'm sure a descent man will come your way who won't feel the need to perv at your friends.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (3 February 2013):
 For someone who claims to be naive you handled this situation perfectly!
You were a bit generous in allowing him to cook his food before he left. Imagine the cheek of him then asking you to cook it for him.
He is junk and kudos to you for throwing him out.
You absolutely did the right thing.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 February 2013):
You did the right thing. He was clearly a bit of a creep.
...............................
A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (3 February 2013):
 You did the right thing, many people wouldn't have the strength to kick him out but you did. It will hurt for a while but it would have hurt a lot more if you'd let him stick around. And he probably would have gotten himself arrested as a sex pest!
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 February 2013):
 Sounds like you got to go over one of the "speed bumps" of life..... Many people experience them.....
Think nothing of it.... put it behind you.... and look forward to those times - in the future - when you will enjoy the company of a NICE guy!!!!
Good luck....
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): Right after that incident he asked you to cook for him?!?! REALLY? Is that guy an idiot or what! You did the right thing. Do not feel guilty. Like you said all of your room mates get along with each other and are respectful of each other. You allowed a creep and a pervert to move in which obviously is disrupting the harmony. I would feel so uncomfortable and betrayed especially since you let him share your bed with you. I would have done the exact same thing you did. I bet your room mate would have appreciative to of your actions had she known what went on. Hit the road Jack and DON'T come back is what I would have told him.
...............................
A
female
reader, Soldierette +, writes (2 February 2013):
 Its quite normal to be feeling the way u feelu feel betrayed coz u liked the guy u also feel let down becoz u hoped he would be decent and u feel jealous but in fact thats not jealousy its u protecting ur friends..Sounds like u did the right thing by asking him to move out and in the long run it would've created problems for u n ur friends already sharing the homeYou have harmony in that place becoz everyones rights n privacy is respected..now just imagine if ur roomie found out the guy u bought into the place was watching her? who would be the one to blame?? you my dear no one else..coz it was u who bought him into ur home..As for not calling back well that's normal.. sometimes men just think they can have one over on us n coz we're nice we wont say anything elseYou should be proud of yourself, u showed respect n upheld the dignity of ur friends, more than anything u showed the guy ur not going to put up n be treated ill manneredly by someone else which is fantastic.. ur a strong woman which is what i like to see..This was not over reaction, this was u protecting ur friend n holding ur dignity n respect above some guy.. well done to youAs for u feelin sad that's ok it will pass too but just remember if he could be doing that whats not to say u wouldn't find him doing something else..Best to get upset over something small then to end up being together for 10+ yrs n having something big to deal with..Stepping stones may break and make u fall but when u can always get back up its onwards with the journey my lovegood luck
...............................
|
