A
female
age
26-29,
*TheAlmightyDuckx
writes:This isn't one of the most important questions, but basically, my boyfriend bought me a £120 tiffanys necklace for my 16th birthday, its the most expensive thing anyone has ever bought me. His birthday is coming up at the end of this month, and well, I just feel bad because I can't fork out £120 to spend on him. I'm a bit clueless to what to get for him, he loves clothes and hats but is extremely fussy about things like that, I bought him a £15 hat for christmas and he didn't like it, so don't want to do that again. Apart from that, I have no idea. Any suggestions?
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female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (9 February 2013):
xTheAlmightyDuckx is verified as being by the original poster of the question Tbh, its his choice not mine. If he can afford to spend that amount of money on me then yeah he can.
I haven't told him to nor do I expect him to do something like that, he did it out of the kindness of his heart, and yes it has been only 8 weeks,thats fair enough, but we have known eachother and liked eachother alot longer than 8 weeks.
Are relationship is still in the early stage days atm, and well if he feels he loves/likes me enough to spend that amount of money on me than its his choice isn't it? What can I do about it?
I have informed him even before my birthday, that something small and simple would of made me happy, and he went overboard and got me something that will last is all be it very expensive but beautiful aswell.
Each necklace I have of a cross isn't important to me because of what it looks like, its important to me because it reminds me of each person who put the love and comitment into getting it for me.
My feet as I said earlier are still firmly on the ground, I do beleive it or not learn from my mistakes, and now I do stop and think what harm is buying an overlypriced necklace going to do?
He doesn't expect anything off me in return for it apart from me to be happy, he isn't buying me something in the hope of sex if thats what you mean, and he knows and is happy at the fact that I can't spend the same amount on him and is happy with whatever I get him.
Abella and Cindy Cares thankyou for your suggestions I think the shopping and maybe something hand made by myself is a wonderful idea xx
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 February 2013):
 Uh... "gold digger" ... what a big word for a 120 pounds necklace :).
While I don't think that you have to spend one cent more than you can comfortably afford, and that your gift does not need at all to match his in monetary value and that spending less than him won't make you look bad or cheap or anything... I don't think you should give him the necklace back , or even " have a talk " with him about his generosity. Being generous is GOOD. And since you have not hinted , pushed or manouvered to get expensive presents , I think that one should always give other people the courtesy to not treat them as children, or as idiots, and assume they KNOW what they are doing and have the right of doing it until the opposite is proven.
So, why spending 120 on a gift is necessarily "ridicolous " ? It is ridicolous if the guy can't afford it, if he is saddled with debts , or had to steal or skip meals to buy the gift, otherwise , if he can count on a job, or his savings or his allowance.... why should he be deprived of doing something that gives him joy ,i.e. gifting you something special.
Keep it simple - if he's into fashion and accessories , why don't you just go shopping with him, tell him what's the most you can spend, and have him pick something he likes ? I agree that the surprise factor would be totally missing :) and that this is not the most romantic gift idea in the world, then again , if he's fussy, and you already blew it once giftwise, - better keep it on the safe side. And shopping with/for a guy is a fun, bonding experience too , in general .
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (9 February 2013):
 I don't think you have to match the present in $value.
what you can do is choose something unique and special that only you could give.
Suggestion (1)
You write well. Think about a poem written by you for him, expressing all he means to you.
Suggestion (2)
Create a folder of 25 written and signed promises which you create. The promise folder ONLY agrees to provide the promise to him. (so proviso is that no promise is transferable)
Then you hand him the folder, with the further proviso that one promise can be dispensed every seven days.
Where you agree to provide for him with that promise, within 48 hours of being provided with the promise request from him (originally written by you).
promise one: a back massage
promise two: make his favourite meal
promise three: a foot massage
I am sure you can think of 22 others
No one else but you can provide the unique things above.
Suggestion (3)
You could also write about the five most memorable outings that you have enjoyed with him. Tell him when it was, why it was so special, what you enjoyed about the outing. How be made you feel.
Decorate around the edges of the page with drawings or things that might be reminders of those outings.
Once again a unique folder that no one else but you could give him.
Your time is important too. You are unique and he loves you. Hand made and hand crafted presents that demonstrate your love for him can be very special. Something for your grandchildren to marvel over in years to come. And provide solid evidence of the love you feel for him.
Hope that helps?
Regards
Abella
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (9 February 2013):
xTheAlmightyDuckx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe gift is sentimental to me, because it is a cross necklace.The first cross necklace I got was when I was with my aunt, who passed away 3 months ago due to cancer.Since I got that first cross necklace and it unfortunately broke, all the most important people in my life have bought me new necklaces.This one from my boyfriend means a lot to me. I don't plan on spending any more than about £20 or so. We discussed about going out for dinner and a movie, and we are going to pay for ourselves so we can both enjoy it and it doesn't get too expensive. I do believe that yes he is slightly carried away in this relationship, but there’s really nothing I can do about that, I’ve had conversations with him about how he shouldn't of spent that amount of money on me, and he knows in general I don't like having a lot spent on me, but he simply said I was worth it, and he wanted me to have something nice to remind me of him, and as sweet as it was, I do think he understands now that I’m pleased by little things. I know he is very carried away with "us" but apart from reminding him that we have been together for just 2 months is all I can do. However thank you for your suggestions and I will take them all into consideration xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2013): O, please, let your man spend his money on you, there is nothing wrong with that. You both young, he is generous, its something to be admired. What he shouldn't do or should do is only his decision . What are we talking about? Money? How about talking about something that's important, feelings for example?
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (8 February 2013):
xTheAlmightyDuckx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI won't decline the gift simply because I was offended when he didn't like that hat that I bought him, I couldn't even begin to imagine how annoyed I would be if someone gave me a £120 gift back, not to mention as it was bought online you can't get a receipt. I didn't ask him to spend this much money on me, and I too like sentimental gifts, this necklace all be it a very expensive one would of meant the same to me as the £6 from clairs, simply because of what the symbol represents for me. I am not looking to buy him an ultra expensive gift, I just want to get him something as sentimental as the necklace was for me. I know I do have a tendency to get too carried away and yes I do think its a bit much considering we have been together for two months, but trust me, I am learning from past experiences and have my feet stuck firmly on the ground this time, I'm not dreaming of getting married and having kids and that we are going to be together for ever and ever and ever. My head is intact in this relationship but thankyou for the advice any how I will take it into consideration and the gift won't be extremely expensive, the collage sounds like a wonderful idea, I want to get him something abit more than a voucher, he mention a shirt he wanted so I'm gonna have a look around for that. And with the gold digger comment, theres a difference between wearing something expensive that someone bought you out of the kindness of there heart, and expecting to be bought something expensive like that, I am the first one. Oh and going out for a meal or a movie is a brilliant idea, I prefer memories to gifts, so thankyou. Thankyou for all of your suggestions xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2013): How does it make a gold digger someone if that someone has nothing to do with a choice a gifter made?
That's just silly. 120 pounds is not that terribly much money to spend on someone you like. May be he has means to do it, how do we know?
You never have to match a present, considering that you are so young especially.
Also, noone returns gifts after breakup, it's unheard of. What's done is done, unless it's an engagement ring.
Make a suggestion to take him out to some reasonably priced place, or movie and a bite to eat. Or some fun activity. I think it's pointless to buy him something for 10 pounds, it will probably be another useless gift that he won't like. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2013): Don't feel bad he probably knows that you dont have alot of cash and its the thought that counts. Just make it special for him maybe go out for his favourite meal or something that he enjoys and the you could go shopping together and let him choose something.Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2013): I disagree that you should return the gift. I would be very insulted if someone returned a gift I'd bought them, especially due to price. He decided to spend that much on you, so for you to give it back based on that logic means you are questioning his nice (albeit over the top) gesture and is likely to leave him feeling hurt and embarassed. How much can you afford to spend on him?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (8 February 2013):
 My advice may seem a bit unconventional.... but here it is:
DON'T get in to a contest - with this guy or any other guy - in which you and he measure the prices spent on presents for one-another.... Real presents come from one's heart... and the cash value has little to do with it....
Many guys will tell you that they would much rather enjoy a home-cooked meal - prepared by their G/F - and a tasty bottle of wine.... far more than an expensive scarf that he will little or never use....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (8 February 2013):
 Give him a gift voucher for a store he likes, that way he can get whatever he likes in there. Maybe make a collage of of two of you, with photos, phrases and little quotes that sum you two up as a more sentimental present.
Also, please ask him not to buy you such expensive jewellery again. £120 is a ridiculous amount! Don't end up being the girl who is rumoured to be a 'gold digger'...
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (8 February 2013):
xTheAlmightyDuckx is verified as being by the original poster of the question2 months, If your unsure about which one please read the bottom part of my bio.
I will admit I didn't ask for anything this expensive, and I did feel very bad about taking it, but it was a nice thought atleast, I gave him the hint about what necklace I wanted which could of been purchased at clairs for about £6.
However un-beknowence to me he went over board and got me that.
I am now completely stumped about what to get him, as I don't have that sort of money to spend on people.
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