A
male
age
30-35,
*nk
writes:Hello I am in a dire situation. I am 21 and my girlfriend is 22. It's long and please be patient with me. My ex and I broke up two months ago after 3 years of relationship together. the only reason she gave me at that time (why she broke up with me) was coz I ignored her and talked alot with my female colleagues in university. (in all honesty, I started a new course of medicine at university and that took my time. I woke up at six and came back home around seven and slept around 11pm and never flirted or ever did anything to be disloyal. I only saw her in my life and talked when required with my colleagues) Inevitably, the time I gave her reduced due to course and settling in, thus the misconception of me ignoring her arose. She is a jealous girl and gets angry really quickly about any other girl even if a stranger asks for direction or ask me anything, she will go livid the moment the girl talks to me. She would blame me I dress well and I am smart and handsome and girls want me and makes it a big mess. I love her and always tried to mend fences. I was always there even when she shout at me, I just couldn't ignore or be cruel to her. I'm polite, kind and giving. So I always helped her n I was patient.My reason why we broke up was to the fact she did not stop talking to a guy friend 24/7 and in real the guy was looking for casual sex. I warned her but she did not care and differences developed as she thought I have started to care less and she did not stop talking to the guy who talked openly he loved her.. and we broke up. The broke up was from her side. After breaking up, she found more about the guy who was lying and trying to get her in bed. And she started missing me and my personality of being kind, nice and helpful. Even after breaking up, we used to talk as friends. She tried hinting of getting back together and tried sending me kisses via text. I told her politely, replying, that we are just friends and my morals don't allow me that to fling with my friends. Then later we hardly talked until I met her yesterday. We met and talked things out for hours at a cafe. It started by how we made mistakes and how she didn't stop talking to that guy etc. (before she always blamed me even though it was her mistake and I ignored it thinking it's worth as I love her). Further, I changed myself lots after the break up like I won't not let down myself for love and I will call truth, the truth. plus I won't ignore any girl being nasty etc . I will stand up for myself and not change for anyone.After lots of talks, she accepted how she missed me and how she cried for me. (she did cry) she also started crying at cafe lots and she asked me if I want her back. I agreed but not sure why. I love her but in my mind, I know we are not compatible. Moreover, I know she left me for another guy when I was less around and afraid she might do it again. Plus, this time I made rules and before she use to CONTROL me and my actions. Also, she said I broke up n she didn't try coz of it but she broke up in real. Moreover, I was tired of being mistreated n taken advantage of as she took me for granted and how badly I was treated. Now , I feel as I have made wrong choice last night by accepting her back and I am confused why I took her back and will it work this time? I am ready to give my hundred percent but I feel like being single for sometime as I haven't recovered yet. What to do now? Tell her all truth and is she worth it? Am I being fair or just being too nice ignoring myself and thinking of her alone?please advice and thank you for reading it all.
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broke up, flirt, jealous, my ex, text, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (4 February 2013):
 Following your re-submittal:
IF you are are holding out, and hoping that someone/anyone will come up with some valid reason why you shouldn't terminate this futile excuse for a relationship - "...I wish there were more posts ..." then you are wasting your time.....
Good luck... and, you may now, officially, STOP WAITING!!!
A
male
reader, Hnk +, writes (3 February 2013):
Hnk is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you all for your advice. highly appreciated.
I wish there were more posts ...
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A
female
reader, Nicabeth +, writes (2 February 2013):
Hi I know I am a complete stranger but from the message you have put. I don't think it was the right thing getting back with her. Being a girl my self I understand that we trust our friends and enjoy there company more than our partners. From what it looks like she must have a soft spot for this guy no girl talks about a guy unless she likes them. You sound like a nice a person and you don't deserve to be with some one like her. I understand you love her but you need to think of your self. It may work but you need to think is it worth putting your life in hold for someone like her. Or would you rather wait and find someone who respects you and cares for you. Good luck at university!!!! Hope it helps x
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 February 2013):
I found ONE sentence in your submittal.... which sentence made it oh-so-easy to give you my sage advice.....
The sentence: "I love her but in my mind, I know we are not compatible..."
The advice: Don't spend another minute trying to figure out what is (or, isn't) going on between the two of you... Take your OWN viewpoint (above) and decide that there's no reason to think that you and she have any future...
Good luck....
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