A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When I'm out with my 29 year-old boyfriend (hanging out with friends, on a date, even walking to get on the train), he always mentions how hot I am, how horny he is, he usually hints on how he wants sex (like, if we're at a coffee shop and I ask if he wants something, he'll say "I want you" with a very sexy face), slaps my butt and touches me in not-so-proper-in-public places.But then, when we get home (we both have roommates but they have very strict work schedules, so we know for sure what time they'll be out), even if we are alone he does nothing! We almost always end up watching movies or something.. I can get on a crop top and panties, spoon next to him and nothing will happen. He does continue to say those things when we're home alone, but then when I say something like "well, come here than", he'll just wink and turn away.I am a sex-every-single-day kind of girl. I can deal with doing it maybe 3 times a week (it's terribly low to me but I am willing, as I love him very much), but this behavior is just.. weird! Sometimes our roommates are off work, but we still have around 20 days alone in a month, but we end up having sex 5, 6 times.I am too afraid to initiate, because he seems so uninterested - which doesn't make sense, because we have a very exciting and fun relationship, and everything goes very well in our life (he even planned a romantic getaway to surprise me). Also, when we do have sex, it is amazing, both to me and to him.I even had a little striptease planned (he once asked me for one) but.. why bother, I guess?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (10 February 2013):
 THIS is the best sentence in your submittal: "I even had a little striptease planned (he once asked me for one) but.. why bother, I guess?..."
I suggest that you print out a copy of your submittal.... place it in front of him and say, "Hunchy-bunchy, I wrote this.... And, if it still applies over the next three weeks, YOU, Sir, will be history in my life...."
If he reacts positively, then so much the better.
IF'n he sez, "Well, sugar-bunny, I'm getting all the nik-nik I need, with you, now...." .... then you will know, for sure, that you and he have a sexual imcompatibility which is irreconcileable... and you and he can arrange to go your separate ways....
Life is too short to compromise such an important aspect of it...
Good luck....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2013): Why don't you talk to him about it? He is the only one who can explain his own behavior.
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (10 February 2013):
 I know a lot of situations where if one person continually doesn't initiate because they are afraid or just can't be bothered, that eventually causes rifts in the relationship. Now maybe your boyfriend wants you to initiate but doesn't have the courage to tell you, so he's just dropping hints and waiting for you to make the first move. And if he seems uninterested, maybe he's trying to determine if you are capable of initiating without needing him to make it obvious to you that he's willing.Anyway I think you should pluck up your courage and try instead of taking the 'why bother' attitude. It really isn't fair to him if he always needs to make the moves because that always puts him in the position where YOU can reject HIM which gives you a little bit too much power in the relationship. If you love and trust him enough and you know he loves you then trust that even if he does reject you it's not because he doesn't like you. If he loves you then he'll let you know he doesn't want sex without putting you down in the process.
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