A
female
age
36-40,
*oststar19
writes:I'm new here and i reallllllllllyy neeeed some help I had a very rocky relationship with my girlfriend for 11 months. Everything was cool at first, but things just changed. She was controlling and never let me do what I needed to do. It was all about her, but then I started to stand up for myself more. We'll argue and of course, i'll feel guilty and run back to fix it. I just got tired of her controlling everything so i stop running back. She wanted to works things out and I believed until she then cheated. As hurt as I was, I wasn't gonna run back to a cheater. I just told her off and she couldn't take it. Now she's has a new guy and she's like rubbing it in my face. Our own love songs, jokes, things we use to do is now her and him. She also say things here and there about how I lost, deuces and now she did better blah blah blah. Just rubbing it in, even on twitter. I'm trying not let it get to me but she is going in... Why all this? don't get it cause i didn't run back? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Andy00  +, writes (25 September 2011):
 She hasn't gotten away with anything. She's merely twisted it in such a way that it looks like you did wrong and that is not so. As long as you know that, that's all that matters. It doesn't matter at all what she or anyone else thinks, because it isn't important. I know it feels like a big deal, but it really isn't. If people hear her side of the story, they aren't going to think any less of you or change their attitude towards you. And if they do, then how can they be considered friends? (if indeed they are suppose to be friends of yours)
You just have to do your best to rise above it. Time will help that. She can't badmouth you forever, it's going to pass and it's going to pass very soon. Just keep your distance and the tension will simmer down a lot quicker. Keep us posted!
A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (24 September 2011):
 As long as you hold on to the anger that you feel towards her it will make it very hard to move on.As hard as it is you need to let it go, your right what she did was wrong and unfair but you cant change the past so dont let it shape your future too by not letting go.
...............................
A
female
reader, loststar19 +, writes (24 September 2011):
loststar19 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou're right..
Just mad that she did all this and got away with it. Mad that i wasted soo much time and now i feel stupid, angry and empty.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): Well... I say that you cut her out of your life then. Delete her from your social networking (change it if you have to, make sure you change your passwords, too, just to be safe.) Seriously, she is toxic and you don't need all that immature drama.
You tried talking, that didn't work. Time to move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, loststar19 +, writes (23 September 2011):
loststar19 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI confront her about the stalking and she went off on me. She got all emotional and defensive. Denying everything when i clear had solid proof and her own words against her. She told me how she got better things to do and she doesn't care about what i do in my life. Then her and her bf got on twitter and just talking shit about moving on and again how i lost and whatnot.
...............................
A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (16 September 2011):
Sometimes break up's are bitter. Yours didn't have to be, but she made it that way. I know it isn't easy given that you cared for her a great deal, you just need to try and look ahead now and focus on the future. Time is a great healer, so for now keep your ex at a distance. This will speed up your recovery and help you to move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, loststar19 +, writes (16 September 2011):
loststar19 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm doing my best to not let it get to me, it just hurts because I cared deeply about her. Everything was good before, not she hates me and pretends like i never exist. I didn't do anything, no cheating or nothing. why can't she be honest or just own up for my sake.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 September 2011):
 WHY would you expend even an iota of your mental energy worrying in the manner that caused you to make this submittal????? You and she are THROUGH!!!!! Get on with your life....
Good luck...
...............................
A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (16 September 2011):
She's being petty and childish. It's quite pathetic really isn't it? - She messed up your relationship, she was dumped by you as a result and now SHE'S the one DESPERATELY trying to make YOU jealous. Utterly, utterly pathetic and not at all worth your time. Rise above it!
Furthermore, block her on any social networking websites and from any other means of contact. She won't get any pleasure out of posting that garbage if you aren't reading it, so make that adjustment. Show her that she is not worth your time by simply cutting yourself away from her without giving her any notice whatsoever.
Cut her off and start to focus on things that are worthy of your attention, whether it's work, self-improvement, or a new partner. Just don't allow your ex to influence you. Follow your own head and your heart and you will be alright!
...............................
A
female
reader, loststar19 +, writes (15 September 2011):
loststar19 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's explains why the person she cheated on me with she dumped in 5 months. Now she just met this person in 2 months and they're in love now. She just keeps on rubbing it in like she found the greatest thing ever. Her excuse for cheating was "I was lost, I'm sorry but we can be friends... up to you babes" Of course I couldn't do it, so i never responded. It just bothers me that she just got back with me just to hurt me. All I wanted is to do things for myself and take time to set my priorities since I was going through things. She sounds really in love though. But then again, say things and stalk me! I'm so confused.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): Okay, she is not a nice person at all. She's an abusive person and that's not your fault. You need to cut her out of your life. Stop following her on twitter. Unfriend her facebook. Change your e-mail address if necessary. Don't answer her calls and delete her texts. She can only do this because you still allow her to. The first step to standing up to her is to totally ignore her. She must get some sort of sick rush out of hurting you this way. You didn't lose, you win. I feel bad for her new boyfriend because obviously she is just "replacing" you with him (doing everythign with him that she had with you.) So he is the real loser in this situation who will be another victim to her sick games.
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (15 September 2011):
She isnt over you and she is using him to try and bother you which is her problem so i really wouldnt let it bother you.She is your ex so you dont need to talk to her or know anything about her life, as soon as she sees you arent bothered by the things she is doing she will soon get bored and move on.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): It sounds like she's playing silly games and just using this new guy to get to you. You dumped her and she couldn't handle it so she probably grabbed the first guy she saw and started a new "relationship" to make out that she's not bothered about you standing up for yourself when really she's obviously very unhappy.
Try not to let it get to you. This new "relationship" she's in is just a re-bound type thing designed to try and make you want her again. She sounds pretty immature and you can do better than someone like her. Just let her get on with it.
...............................
|
