A
female
age
,
*illette
writes:Here's my issue, I have been in a relationship for 6yrs, rocky sometimes, I found out he has been having chats with his ex, the problem now is I was on face book and came across her page I was curious to find out what she looked like but apparently I accidentally sent a friend request, she accepted and wanted to chat, no way, I told her it was a mistake do not want to chat or be friends, blah, blah blah, I know he knows and is mad at her, he has said nothing to me and I have said nothing to her, but it is bothering me, and I am torn between telling him or just letting it go and forget all about it ,things are pretty good between us now, any suggestions?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 November 2016):
 I am sorry that you have had to go through this. The only positive thing is you have had a lucky escape, I am glad you have finished with him, and I hope you reported him for the attack. Allow all your family and friends to help you during this time, I would also get a restraining order so he knows not to come near you again.
A
female
reader, Gillette +, writes (28 November 2016):
Gillette is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear Friends, Thank you for all responses and advice, should of listened sooner. Found out he is back to doing his drugs again and Saturday night he physically attacked me, he is more rotten and unstable than I ever imagined. I'ts OVER, moving forward, wish me luck!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (22 November 2016):
You where right in that it should be him that is keeping away from facebook chat, not you being there to stop him. You know he is doing this behind your back, and am pretty sure it is not just his ex he is chatting to either. I would end things with him, as I don't think he can be trusted.
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A
female
reader, Eagle'sfan1986 +, writes (22 November 2016):
Can you ask him why did he Block you from his page when you two spend time together? I used to have a Facebook along time ago. I been Block by my ex friend's sister and her cousin also. Maybe he only Block you because you found his ex gf without him knowing about it. That was a bad move on his part to block you from his page. I don't know if he was being honest when he said he will rather be with you than be on chats or whatever he said to you. But talk to him and straighten it all out.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (22 November 2016):
 I don't know what you want from us; we're telling you to leave, he's doing dumb things and you're treating Facebook a bit like teenagers do.
I think your best bet is to break up and move on to someone who doesn't use Facebook much or at all. You should lessen your usage too, as you seem to put a lot of unnecessary value in it.
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A
female
reader, Gillette +, writes (21 November 2016):
Gillette is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, the other night he told me he has closed his face book page, and said I'm glad you're here keeps me away from chats, I replied, "It's you that has to keep away from chat's. Got home from work tonight to find he opened his face book page again and I can't even get on his page, I've been blocked, total scum bag move.
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A
female
reader, Eagle'sfan1986 +, writes (19 November 2016):
I too been in your shoes last summer when my ex bf's ex gf was calling him all the time driving him, his family and me crazy by stalking him when she will call him and find on him on Google plus. But I am glad your bf did the right thing by unblocking her from being her friend. And that he really respects your feelings when you told him you don't want to hear about her and want her in both your lifes.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (17 November 2016):
Why are you both not friends on social media? I think you could be right why he was mad at her. He sounds like a shady character. Now am not saying he is cheating on you, but still talking with an ex is not the best way to make you feel secure and trust him. Then getting mad at her for accepting your request also shows he does not want you two talking. My guess is that he is scared off what she could tell you.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (17 November 2016):
 To be fair if you didn't make the mistake of adding her this situation wouldnt of arose, so you can't complain 'you're sick of it' because it reared it's head because YOU were snopping her Facebook.
Just put the situation to bed, both of you stop talking about it. She's an ex for a reason and it will just bring unecessary drama. Neither of you need to be speaking to his ex.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (17 November 2016):
To be fair if you didn't make the mistake of adding her this situation wouldnt of arose, so you can't complain 'you're sick of it' because it reared it's head because YOU were snopping her Facebook.
Just put the situation to bed, both of you stop talking about it. She's an ex for a reason and it will just bring unecessary drama. Neither of you need to be speaking to his ex.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (17 November 2016):
Why aren't you friends with him on Facebook?
I think this is all ridiculously adolescent for a couple in their 50s. I think you need to limit your social media use and I think you need to date someone you trust, not someone you feel the need to watch the actions of.
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A
female
reader, Gillette +, writes (17 November 2016):
Gillette is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear aunt honesty,
The answer to your question, Why is he mad at her? He said because she accepted my friend request and wanted to chat, the more I think about it, I think he was afraid of what she might tell me. I'm pretty sick of the whole dam thing, I can't trust anything he says anymore, and how do I know he unfriended her? Can't see his page we are not friends on FB hmmmm, HAD ENOUGH!!! What do you think?
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A
female
reader, Gillette +, writes (16 November 2016):
Gillette is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone, I told him what I did, but she wasted no time telling him what I did before I did, I told him I don't want to hear about her anymore, and no more chats with her, he knows how I feel about it, I want to move forward and he says that he unfriended her, hope so, life has enough challenges, don't need this nonsense in my life.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (14 November 2016):
I would just ignore it. My guess is that she was curious as to why you added her and that is why she wanted to chat. I think you should be honest with your partner. You say he is mad at her, but I don't understand why when it was you that send the request. Just explain to him why you done it, mention that you where wondering why you where still talking to an ex and you accidentally hit add friend. You need more communication in your relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2016): If this is the only issue in your relationship then be happy! It's really not important. It was just a click. A mistake. Move on and focus on reality and the living breathing people around you.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (12 November 2016):
Tell him before she does.
I let paranoia make me look into one of my boyfriend's former friends because I was scared and we were new. I accidentally followed her and unfollowed straight away. My stomach was in knots because they get email notifications when someone follows them and I didn't want them to know my blog. I can't remember if I told him or she did, but it wasn't good.
Curiosity like yours ruins relationships; you've already said it's rocky - which suggests it might not be meant to be either.
Own up, unfriend her and ask your boyfriend to stop talking to her, if it bothers you.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (12 November 2016):
Keep Facebook out of relationships, nothing good ever comes of it.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (12 November 2016):
Get off social media if you can not control your clicks. Try to focus on the relationship instead of digging around in other people's fake business.
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