A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 5 months. By both of our accounts it was pretty much the most idyllic relationship either of us had ever been in. The most we ever disagree about was where we were going to get dinner. We never fight. A month ago we were going on a vacation and she randomly backed out of it a week before we were supposed to go. Basically she told me she was scared of going. I was so hurt that I nearly broke up with her but we ended up staying together. And afterwards things were still great. We still clicked, we were still in love with each other. Same as it ever was.However, 2 weeks ago I noticed she was starting to get distant. We weren't going out on dates. The most I'd get to see her was for an hour or 2 in a week. And we weren't having sex, at all. This past weekend she came over late at night. We just watched TV a little, I helped her with some of her work, made out a little and then she left. Just a normal kind of night. The very next day we were texting all day just like we normally do. Then she sent me a text telling me how much she loved me. I texted her back how much I loved her. Two hours later I'm going onto Facebook and I suddenly can't tag her. So I try to look at her profile and I can't. Her name is also missing from our relationship. She had unfriended me and set her profile to private. I tried calling her and she had blocked my number. She also went as far as booting me from her instagram and setting it to private.A few days pass with no communication. I'm ridiculously broken hearted. So I wrote her a letter and dropped it at her house when I knew she wouldn't be home. A couple hours later I get a text from her friend saying my girlfriend is really sorry but she needs space to focus on graduating in a month and that the way she handled the situation was bad but she couldn't do it any other way because she couldn't get the words out. And that she really does care about me but would contact me when she's ready and to please let her be in the mean time.I really do love her and thought she was the one, but should I move on as painful as that is? I feel like blocking someone from your life isn't something you do to someone you love and care about.
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male
reader, The unstable entrepenour +, writes (26 November 2016):
It doesn't sound like she'll ever tell you to move on. The way she handled it makes me feel like she feels pressured to end things for some reason. Maybe it's the trip you planned - when your partner starts seeing a new level in the relationship (trip planning, talking about moving in, talking about children, talking about engagement rings) it might scare them away. Some people are in relationships just to avoid being lonely, and somewhere along the way they lose themselves and never end the relationship. However, when they realize it's getting serious, they back away. In any case, you put yourself out there, you loved her, you were serious about your commitment, and she ghosted you. In all honesty, fuck her. It's hard, but block her back and forget about it, if you guys get back you'll always wonder "will she ever do that again" and never know 100%.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2016): Hmm, I think something has happened with her and she feels guilty and has cut you off. Maybe she has cheated or found someone else. Either way , if she has blocked you and wants no contact then why make any effort with her. You adored her and look at what she gave you in return?
No one deserves to be blocked without a reason but I think you should do your best to have no contact. If she comes back for more , ignore her, give her a taste of what it feels like. You will know if she is serious or not.
I'd say, move on, block her , delete her, no contact, if she is playing games she will react to this, ignore her again. Dont waste your time on someone who doesn't appreciate your time , you deserve better.
The graduation line is an excuse, she's got her friend to text you because she's too ashamed to do it herself. They are talking about you, laughing at you, don't let them win by reacting at all. Just block her . What's probably happened- she's found another guy for some reason decided to try out with him but had to leave you. She couldn't figure out how to do it nicely so she has asked her friend to text you, or her friend has took her phone and text you but used graduation to make it seem less harsh and to make her out to be innocent. This exact thing happened to me and now I'm in a seven year relationship and things are great. Things will get better , I promise :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 November 2016):
 Do think it would be a great relationship where one person just cut the other one off without giving a reason? What happens next time she has some kind of trouble she needs to focus on?
YOU CAN NOT have a good and healthy relationship if it starts and stops constantly. It might suit HER, but what would YOU get out of it?
I get being stressed over exams or whatnot, but couldn't she JUST have told that? Told you that she needed to focus on that and wouldn't have as much time for you for a while, but still keeping the lines open.
BLOCKING you - is NOT the actions of someone who WANTS to be with you. IS it?
I get that you like her, really really like her.... but does she likes you back to the same extent? I think not. Sorry.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2016): In the letter I wrote if it "was over" not if it "wasn't over."
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2016): Thanks for the replies everyone. I know 5 months isn't long at all and I don't know what it was about her, but I was absolutely crazy about her and she would always tell me she felt the same way. I dated a girl for close to 2 years in my mid 20's and never felt the same for her as I do for A.The holiday thing was because she was terrified of going with me. So after that soaked in I called her and asked if she would come over because we needed to talk. She declined so I was breaking up with her at that moment. It was emotional, she started crying and I started crying. I asked her to please come over and she did and we talked it out. We didn't see each other for a few days afterwards. Obviously things were still not right. So we decided to get together for lunch. And it was perfect. We both had a great time, just as we always did, we ended up talking again and we spent the entire day together. All the feelings I had been thinking about, like breaking up with her, went away.Also, I know she was having trouble in one of her classes and I wasn't trying to force myself on her time. I mean, it was like we were only spending a couple of hours a week with each other.So that brings us to today, the letter I wrote it basically just was telling her how I felt about her but if it wasn't over please just tell me. That I couldn't stand just being blocked like that. And it was her best friend that texted me saying she wanted me to tell you that.So yeah, I do feel like I need to move on but it's just so confusing to me. I do love her and I want to be with her but I wish she would just tell me we should both move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 November 2016):
I'm sorry OP but you really have only one choice here. ACCEPT that she dumped you. Whatever reason/excuse her "friend" gave you , you will have to take it for face value, there is no reason not to. And there is NO point in trying to analyze her actions.
When she declined the holiday - she didn't tell you the real reason - that is my guess. She wanted out back then but didn't know how to tell you. My guess is this is why she chose such a cowardice way of "ghosting you" instead of just being honest.
The whole "I love you" text was her goodbye - honest? a CRUEL way to dump someone. She should have just told you she didn't think it was going to work out.
It's ONLY been 5 months together. And why you felt everything was idyllic is obviously wasn't. She has been looking for a way out for a while.
I know it sucks if you felt things were going great to be dumped in such a "lame" fashion as ghosting.
But IF I were you I would BLOCK her number and that of her friend and work on getting over her. Hang out with friends, go see family, do things you like doing and work on forgetting her.
I would NOT sit around and wait for to contact you when she is ready... HECK no. She made a choice to cut you off, she is then no longer an option. And neither are you for her. HER loss, buddy.
You can do better than this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2016): It is probably more infatuation then love and she obviously didn't feel as intense as you. In the grand scheme of things 5months is not a long time. Things just Don't work out sometimes which is fine but childishly blocking you and chickening out on telling you to your face is unkind. This alone should show you this person is not worth anymore of your time
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2016): It certainly sounds bizarre and doesnt ring true at all.Has someone else got into her account at all?I wouldnt be happy in the circumstances and knowing how I like definitive answers I would ask the police to do a safe and well check just to be sure that all is well and she is not under any undue pressure or coercion as it sounds out of character and my mind wouldnt rest until I had it confirmed by the police that all was well and she was at liberty to do as she pleased.Sometimes its better to be safe than sorry!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2016): 5 months is a very short time to have been together especially if she is already distancing herself in the 4th month.
Maybe she is not really into you and decided to let things cool.
I would not contact her and just move on with my life.
You will be able to get over it in no time.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (19 November 2016):
 It was a terrible way of going about things but her friend has given you a reason why, Whether it's legit or not, who knows? But you've no other choice but to keep moving forwards. You could decide to wait for her and see whether she comes back, I personally wouldn't considering how cowardly she was in going about things and who knows if she actually will come back?
If I were you I'd just concentrate on keeping busy and starting to move on with your life. It sucks man, but that's the risk you take in a relationship, putting the trust in them not to hurt you, but it doesn't always go to plan.
Keep your head up man
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