A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I will try and make this as short and sweet as I can. First off I just want to say that in the last couple of months I have become a very anxious person towards the woman i become enveloped with. Just 6 months ago i could care less about if a woman were interested or not and i was a little cold hearted due too a bad relationship I had a few years ago. But now i feel im over that and ready to find someone I can commit too again. Well after going through a few bad dates and a almost bad relationship in the past few months I reached out to this girl I was friends with on facebook who had shown some interest in the things i posted and what not and we ended up hitting it off really well. I ended up asking her on a date and we got along almost TOO well like we had known each other for a long time. as the next few days went on we ended up seeing each other again and we got a little closer and I was able to steal a few kisses that night. Every day she would text me first thing in the morning "Good morning handsome have a great day" with googly eyes and hearts and what not. would text me most the day and snap chat me and flatter my good looks often. come about 4 or 5 days later its polar opposite now just out of nowhere...just the night before this change she literally had told me she missed my face. Then the next day she was very distant and continues too be a bit distant but still engages me in texts everyday just not as colorfully i guess. Now we've actually hung out again since then and she had actually invited me over to meet her mom and her daughter. Being the anxious person I am as soon as this change took effect I immediately panicked and started overthinking about how she lost interest. However I am logical enough not too bombard her and be overbearing...So i am keeping my cool and seeing how this plays out. As the logical side of me has hypothesized that either she herself, or her friends and family are telling her to slow down and not move too fast or perhaps she is just having some bad days (as she is stressing out a lot about her job lately). Another hypothesis I have is that she's testing me too see how clingy I might get. Either way logically I am telling myself to be patient and go with the stride and too not let my anxiety cause me too be drastic and needy. What do any of you think are some probable reasons and what kind of steps should I take at this point? I used to not believe in having a soulmate but this girl truly feels like she could be "The One" as dumb as it sounds and i don't want to mess anything up.Thank you!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 November 2016):
 Saying that she could be the one just after a week sounds like you are going in way to deep and either you will scare her off or you will get hurt. You need to go with the flow at this stage. Show interest but don't scare her.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (16 November 2016):
 That's a little odd in the space of a week. Have you tried asking her why?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionand also sorry i did not specify but I was showing her the same amount of affection and attention, just going with the flow of things.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (15 November 2016):
The thing is are you showing her interest back? You mention in your post her interest in you but are you actually showing her some? Because if you are not then maybe she is tired off doing all the running. I wouldn't be playing games, I would be making more off an effort and making her feel special, taking her out and off course meeting the family. Try and relax and not read in to everything to much, or you will be your own worst nightmare.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionVery good points to be made! Another additional note to add and I forgot to specify we have literally only known each other a little over a week!
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (15 November 2016):
If you think she's special then don't start treating this like a game about who likes who more.
How long have you been dating? There could be many reasons, you Could be right that she's lost interest, but are you still seeing her? I don't think this would be the case if she was trying to phase you out.
She could feel similarly to you that you get on too well and that it's moving really fast and she's slowed it down because you're not shoeing the same affections.
If you've been dating a few months it may be time to ask where things are going which would probably be the best idea as you'll get your answer either way, you'll either get together or go your separate ways.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (15 November 2016):
 I think youre following the dating 'rules' a little closely. I have heard of people who follow rules...then met the love of their life and everything went out the window. Everything they knew about waiting 3 days before texting or waiting a few months before committing pretty much didnt apply anymore. I think if you feel that she is the one, why arent you making her feel that way? And no i dont think you are clingy but you havent really explained ways that you make her feel special. She seems to be very communicative and flattery to you but heres my 2 cents why shes withdrawing
1) She thinks shes probably giving you too much compliments and has to decided to slow down because shes not getting the response she wants from you
2) Shes extremely busy with her family and kids and may start putting more time into them now
3) She is playing you and once she got you hooked, shes withdrawing
Whatever the reason, I think if you want her, you have to show it to her to make her think you are serious about it. Playing cool wont necessarily work in this case. And I dont mean bombard her with texts too, I mean sit her down after a nice date and ask her what does she think about being your girlfriend? And explain to her how you feel about her. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Mistercatbean  +, writes (15 November 2016):
 What I always feel is most important in a relationship is communication. I'm also a very anxious and I am definitely an over thinker. I would analyze a text right down to the fine grammatical details and try to infer what tone the person I was interested was using and what could they possibly mean by that slight change in the way they're sending me messages. The best thing to do is simply to ask her! Show that you are thinking of her and you were just wondering how she has been doing lately. The important thing if you are anxious about sounding clingy is to just show her you care. In myOpinion try NOT to say something along the lines of "I was wondering if things are okay between us because you have been less energetic about/whentexting me". I think try saying that you were thinking about her and you were wondering how she's been doing. Say you feel like she seems a little down and you were wondering if she's been having a rough time or stress with work and if you can help maybe. If she is going through stress, bringing up that you think she might be distant and not putting in the same amount of energy as before may make her feel more stressed out and pressured with her relationship with you on top of what she may have going on. It'll really help your anxiety if you open a supportive and honest line of communication instead of guessing, fearing the worst while trying to calmly "wait it out". goodluck!
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