A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:At the moment, I have feelings for someone who has basically led me on a bit and messed me about and obviously doesn't reciprocate. I have to see him every day at work and I am trying to simultaneously stay away from him and act civilly if I have to. I know he's an idiot so I obviously don;t want to waste any more time on him but I did really like him and my feelings aren't just going away now I know of his idiocy. It's all very well to ACT all cool as a cucumber but a different thing to actually "get over it" on the inside. You can't just turn off your feelings so do you just wait for them to go away? How is it done? I'm not very good at letting things go and am not easily distracted once I have decided I like someone but I don;t want to torture myself any further!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 November 2016):
 You can't really do a lot but wait. Keep yourself busy and active and it will get easier and easier over time. When you catch yourself thinking about him, distract yourself.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 November 2016):
 Most people can't turn their feelings off like a light switch, which I think is normal.
Maybe one of the reasons you are fixated on this guy is because he turned you down. Even if he is an idiot, you still want to "prove" him wrong.
However, if you don't watch out you might start to obsess over this guy who IS NOT worthy of your time and emotions. So you need to be aware and "snap" yourself out of it every time he pops in your head.
Keeping busy helps too. After a while, the feelings you have will fade away.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (14 November 2016):
 Yes, you wait, what else can you do? Like you said you can't turn your feelings off.
You have to keep yourself busy.....try and take more responsibility on at work, join a gym, start a new hobby or spend time with friends and family you've not seen in a while.
You're the only person that' can control how long you feel this person controls your thoughts. When you find yourself thinking about him STOP, start doing something else To occupy your mind.
I'm pretty sure we've all been there having unrequited feelings for someone else and it hurts yes and it can take a lot of time for the feelings to subside. I had one when I was about 18 where I felt like my world had some crashing down. About a month and a half later I couldn't even even remember what I liked about her so much. Im currently experiencing it now also a girl I spoke to for close to 2 years and I asked where things were going and she told me she has plans to go travelling so didn't want commitment which you could imagine was hard to take as we don't speak anymore, but it shows that it's not as hard to get over as you think and the human mind has an unbelievable abillity to get through whatever life throws at you.
It will get easier I promise, it sounds cliché but time is the greatest healer.
Good luck
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