A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey wondering if you can help.There's this girl I knew from my childhood, we recently bumped into each other after not seeing each other for at least 6 years and decided to go down the pub (as friends).We got on incredibly well and decided to go on a quite dates over the course of 3 weeks. We never really spoke about old times at all.Everything seemed to be going really well, and she had a bad day with her ex, we had a phone conversation and everything seemed good between us. Two hours later I had a message from her saying "im really sorry i don't think i can do this" Explaining that she had a lot on at work, mentioned me going away for a month and her not being able to give it her all. I really like this girl and haven't felt this way about someone in a long time. I leave this friday and was thinking about leaving her a bottle of something, an advent calendar and a card saying this, and hope we can pick things up when I'm back.Or should I just cut my losses and never think of what could have happened between us?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2016): Sounds to me like you're more emotionally involved than her. She doesn't seem to be completely over this ex. It's the most frustrating thing to constantly feel like she's not thinking about you as much as you are about her. I say cut your losses, keep it platonic.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 November 2016):
 She just told you " I am sorry, I can't do that "... and you'd follow up with "... I hope we can pick things up when I am back ?". Not a smart move. Sweet and well meaning, yes, but- possibly even quite annoying : like " what part of " I can't " you did not understand ? ".
I agree with N 91, I get the feeling that she may be still hung up on her ex - she tried rebounding, maybe even in good faith, not just as a distraction. She thought she was ready to get involved with another person- she realized she is not, and luckily she told you right away without stringing you along. Now respect her wishes and do not try to ply her with gifts,it would not work - the timing just was not right, unluckily .
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (16 November 2016):
 My guess is she's not fully over her ex and she may of been using you as a distraction to get over him (maybe not). But whatever happened on this day with her ex has made her realise she's got unfinished business and not ready to get involved with someone else.
I wouldn't bother with the gift, she's told you that she can't do anything between you at the moment and I don't think that will change anything. You could send a small text saying you have enjoyed your brief time with her but you'll respect her wishes and leave her to it. If she's interested I'm sure she will be back when she's in a better state of mind.
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