A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, okay so, I have been talking to this guy for 3/4 years who I met at college. We have met a handful of times but we haven't met in over a year but we still text, all day everyday and have done for 3/4 years.If we go without one day without texting, it feels weird. We have spoke about our feelings in the last few years and we have liked each other in the past however, the last year we haven't really spoken about our feelings. I recently told him how I felt which is that I do really like him, his more then a friend and it will always be him that I want. However, his response wasn't great as he said "we are friends right but I'm not saying in the future we won't be". But when we text, all he says is that he wants me and he wants to meet me etc. We haven't spoken since these messages which was a week ago.I know I'm being naive by "believing" what he is saying via text but I truly adore him. I feel strung along as I know he is probably talking to others. How do I let go? Should I let go?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 November 2016):
 Yes you should let go. It sounds like he likes the attention that he gets from your messages, you are an ego boost to him. He probably hasn't texted this week as you said you like him so he probably wants you to cool off. I know it is probably not what you want to hear but I think you are only wasting your own time.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 November 2016):
 If this has been going on for 3-4 years and you have met a handful of times but nothing has come from it, then I'm sorry I don't think anything will (other than being text buddies)
I don't think he has strung you along on purpose any more than you have strung HIM along.
How do you let go? I'd let him know that you have decided you want a REAL relationship and texting just isn't cutting it for you. That you wish him well. And then you BLOCK him.
You will miss him in the beginning but that will fade if you start socialized and talking to people around you, not just over text. LEARN to converse face to face.
I mean really..m how many years do you want so spend being "pen pals" over text? While it's nice to have someone to talk to, it is not a relationship. And give the geographical distance between you two, that likely isn't going to change.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2016): You say you like him... you really like him.. but how much do you REALLY like him? Is it enough for him to be with you every day? In a real day to day couples relationship?A lot of times, we like the idea of having someone to communicate/chat/text with everyday. It's being able to talk to someone freely and tell them anything and everything... plus a bit of flirting adds to the sparks. Our imagination is left open to imagine how a relationship with this person can be... we see all the qualities and imagine all the great things. But that is not reality... because reality will bring you flaws and disagreements. Are you ready for that? Is that what you really want?My suggestion is not to think too much into the future of this. Just enjoy the ride. Enjoy what you have now. You will know when you both are ready, or not ready for something more. Many times, our greed prevents us from truly enjoying what we currently have.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (19 November 2016):
 If you've not gottn together in 4 years of speaking then it's not looking like you ever will do. He knows how you feel and he's doing nothing about it so let's be realistic here. He can tell you everything in the world how he likes you back, but he's not asked you out has he? So you're correct, he is stringing you along and he's not worth a second of you're time if you're looking for a relationship.
You could either just block his number and start to move on, or drop him a little text along the lines of 'You know how I feel about you and I don't think this is ever going to progress to anything more than friendship so I think it's better if we go our separate ways'.
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