A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:This is so silly but Ive been feeling really down about my friends accomplishments.One being; I've been learning to drive for a good while now and not booked a date for my practical test. My friend has just started (well not long started) and she is already booked in for her test.Is it bad that I feel really down about it? I just feel like I'm failing, or not succeeding.And that people will judge me on how long I've taken. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 July 2017):
 You CAN live your life constantly comparing yourself to others and it will make you MISERABLE.
OR you can decide that YOU live YOUR life on YOUR terms.
So maybe she has caught on to driving faster than you have, so WHAT? There are things some people are better/faster at than others. THAT is life.
I have a propensity to learn the spoken part of languages fast but grammar and the written part I take longer at.
We all move, grow and learn at different paces. It's normal. SHE might also have more confidence in her abilities.
You are not her. Learning to drive faster than you doesn't make her a better driver.
So, suck it up Buttercup. There will be thing YOU are better/faster at and there will be things OTHERS are better/faster at than you. It's life.
A
male
reader, Phil052 +, writes (11 July 2017):
 I took ages to learn to drive and failed my test twice. This was a blessing in disguise because by the time I took to the road I had a lot of experience under my belt and have never had an accident since I passed. I'm sure there are a lot of things you are better than your friend at!
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (11 July 2017):
 Learning to drive is just one of those things that takes different people different times. It's okay to have a moment of "Oh I wish I was booking my test" or a little bit of jealousy but it's important to let it go quickly. You re your own person and you shouldn't judge yourself by what other people do or manage.
It only gets worse as you get older. My friend has been really upset lately because I've bought a house and they haven't managed to yet. Well... They're engaged... And im not. So what's the point in comparing?
You'll get there when you get there but if u get everywhere as quickly as possible what have u got to look forward to?
Just because someone is put forward for their test doesn't mean they'll pass first time or that they're ready. So don't you worry about them. Better that you do your test when you're ready and don't go wasting loads of money attempting it before that time.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (11 July 2017):
 People learn at different speeds. Some people get the hang of things really quickly whereas others don't. It's not really anything to worry about.
You will be in for your test and passed soon enough, why the rush? Take your time and as long As you need.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (11 July 2017):
 Sweetheart, if you go through life comparing yourself to others, you will ALWAYS feel a failure. Right from sleeping through the night and potty training, we are all individuals in how long we take to learn things. There will ALWAYS be people who will be able to do things better/faster than you. We cannot be good at everything. I am sure, if you think about it, there are things you have learned easier than your friend.
Regarding your driving, do you have an instructor who you think is teaching you well and building up your confidence? If not, perhaps a change of instructor would help? I am not saying this is the case with YOUR instructor, but I have known instructors who did not bother pushing their pupils because the longer they did not pass their test, the longer they had their custom. Do you feel this may be the case with you?
Do you feel ready to take your test? Are you safe and confident on the road? Some people take longer than others to pass their test but, ultimately, this does not make them "worse" drivers. Do you feel you would benefit from additional lessons? Speak with your instructor and ask him/her how many more lessons they feel you will need before you are ready to take your test.
Do you worry a lot about people "judging" you? In my experience, most people are too busy with their own lives to think much about others' progress. In any case, once you have passed your test, it will become a thing of the past. My friend's mother took up driving late in life and passed her test on the 13th attempt! We were at school at the time and joked about it a lot, but we had such admiration for her for sticking at it and we all felt happy for her when she eventually passed.
Don't judge your achievements against those of others. As long as you are doing/have done your best, that is all you should be worried about.
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