A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all. I rarely get dates so was well excited when i finally got one. The guy said he felt a connection before we met i held back because i didnt want to put all my feelings on him and get hurt. The date was great we did have a few drinks and went back to his we did a lot of stuff but no sex. If all he wanted was to get his leg over he could easily have done so but once i was home he texted and said i wasn't exactly right for him and decided no sex as that's not fair on us both. I really like the guy and was gutted when he said it as i felt so safe and did things i never thought i would do as it all felt so right. Before we went on the date we said we would be friends but we havent texted each other since. I'm not saying this as an excuse to his thinking, him not liking me the way i like him but his mum recently died and the funeral is on Friday. I know people will say move on which i know i will be doing but should i send him 1 last text saying ' shame it ended at date 1 as that's when its a bit messy / embarrassments / nerves things go wrong and future dates are more relaxed and better but i hope you find someone more your type and ill be thinking about him Friday ' i feel i want to send this as its also closure for me so i can move on and find someone who wants me.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 July 2017):
 No I wouldn't send it, he is going through a tough enough time at the moment. He was honest with you and straight with you from the word go which a lot off men wouldn't have been so just respect that you are not for him and move on.
A
female
reader, Miss.Cupid  +, writes (14 July 2017):
 Everyone that says we can be friends before or after a date is usually lying.
I wouldn't text him, to be honest with you I don't think he deserves your text. you seem like a very lovely lady that just got caught up in the moment and did some freaky things. But at the end of the day if a guy likes you, he'll show it. Text, call, whatever..He'll show it.
Don't waste your time. I know you'll be thinking of him Friday but you're the last thing on his mind. You'll find someone that will give you the time of day. Please just don't give this idiot a second of your day lol
Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2017): Yeah, I'm sorry to say it too, don't send the text. He treated you with respect in the way he ended it, don't make it worse on yourself.
Move on!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2017): Nah! I won't send another text. He said you weren't really right for him, so why bother?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 July 2017):
 No, don't text him.
The whole "we can be friends" is code for let's end this without drama. It doesn't MEAN he wants to be friends and quite honestly? YOU weren't on a dating site looking for a friend.
You won't get any closure either. A closure from HIM is a unicorn. YOU can give yourself "closure" by accepting that he might have liked you but NOT enough to date you.
As for having done a lot of things you wouldn't have done normally. So what? If you feel he OWES you something for whatever things you did you, you are wrong. *pardon for being blunt*
As for his mother's funeral. I think it's nice that you have this empathy for his loss, but the text you want to send is not out of caring. It's you hoping he will engage or reply. He will probably have family and friends around to help him in his grief. He will be OK.
Block and delete his number and really... MOVE on. It was ONE date.
And TRY to enjoy dating without thinking it HAS to lead to more than a night out meeting someone new. If you don't feel good about the sexual acts from that ONE date, in the future DO NOT engage in those till you are actually dating someone on an exclusive level.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (12 July 2017):
 Nope. I wouldn't bother there's really no need.
What if he doesn't even reply to it? You'll probably feel a bit stupid and the situation just doesnt need it. You have your closure he told you that you're not right for him, surely that's enough?
He has been clear, honest and up front with you, leave things where they stand, nothing else is necessary.
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