A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone.I'm writing about an issue I have at work with regards to a co-worker.I work in a pub so it is a very relaxed atmosphere. I get on with all my co-workers, both male and female.However, there is one particular co-worker who I am attracted to.I feel like he is very flirty with me and likewise I would say I am quite flirty back, although I get a bit shy.However I'm not sure if his flirting is just because it's a very friendly and relaxed place to work or if he is showing me attention in particular.Some of the kind of things he has done:He said that I was tiny (I am really small, about 5ft) and that I was very slim. I said that I would take that as a compliment and he said it was a compliment.When I have been pouring a pint he will do the same at the pump next to mine and I don't know if it is intentional but his body will press against my side and he doesn't move away when it does.He talks to me behind the bar and sometimes nudges me with his elbow or touches my arm.When he walks past me he touches my back. One time I was pouring a pint but I did it wrong and he came to show me how to do it and he put his hand round mine on the glass I was holding.However I have watched him with the other girls at work and he is friendly to them as well. I haven't seen whether he touches them as much as he touches me but I'm not sure if he's just a very confident and touchy person, he might not mean anything by it.Also - he has a girlfriend, and I have a boyfriend. We have both told each other this so this is why I am so confused. We don't really mention our partners when at work apart from the one time we spoke about them so I'm not sure whether he's just flirting because he knows we're both on the same page as being unavailable. I don't know what his plan is!What do you guys think?
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at work, co-worker, flirt, has a girlfriend, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 July 2017):
 From what you wrote it sounds like banter from his side off things anyway. I would take no notice.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2017): This will not end well.
You might have a brief fling if you allow it to escalate.
It will be only just sex.
He will likely tell you it was all a mistake and leave you feeling used. Then he will ignore you and go back to his girlfriend while you are left hurting. And you go back to your boyfriend feeling empty, guilty and hurt.
Guys like this have game. They are using it to bed whatever woman falls for it. You won't be the first and you won't be the last. Have some common sense and stay away from players. They will eat you alive.
Never, ever worth it.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (29 June 2017):
 Would you like your BF being like this with another girl?
Highly doubt it. Either stop what you're doing or break up with your BF.
Why does his plan matter? Are you both thinking about cheating?
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A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (28 June 2017):
 Do you wish to brake it off with your bf ?
do you hope to get a chance with this coworker ?
what if it was your bf that was attracted to a coworker .
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A
male
reader, judgedick +, writes (28 June 2017):
Keep the work place a happy place , yse he knows your bought in the same place that is why he is doing it as he hopely is playing safe , but for all involved don't let him away with touching you know now the work place don't like that as they can be open to the law, You can have friends at work , but you don't want to end up making the work place the type place you don't want to go ,
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (28 June 2017):
 Keep it to a minimum. You can have all the banter you want but nip the more "flirty" comments in the bud. Why? Because you both have partners. WOULD you like it of YOUR BF was behaving like YOU are, with one of his coworkers?
I know the bartender job/work environment is pretty relaxed and can be a lot of fun, just have some consideration for your OWN relationship and partner.
If you think about it for a minute would you BE OK with being "this" flirty with your coworker IN FRONT of your BF? If not, then don't be it when he isn't there.
As for your coworker, he is a FRIENDLY FLIRT. Doesn't mean a thing by it. He is just enjoying having a work environment where he can have a LOT of laughs and pinch a few bums... Basically. So I don't think he HAS a plan. He will, however, take is as FAR as you allow it. That I think is pretty obvious. So SET boundaries.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2017): Do you really care about your boyfriend? Would you get upset if he was flirty with the girls where he works?
If you're unavailable, why are you flirting?
If you're losing interest in your boyfriend, maybe that's something you've got to work on first.
If all it takes is a guy to flirt with you and you forget all about your boyfriend, you may as well be single.
Don't take the flirting too seriously. He's probably flirting with all the girls when your back is turned. Maybe he just wants to have sex, and wants to see if you're up for it.
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