A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone.This divorced - with - 2 - kids guy I met described himself as financially comfortable but I am always paying and he says he 'would pay if he could/ will pay next time/when a big deal comes through? When I asked whether he would pay for something he said its not as if he doesn't try. He's fun but I'm feeling used.
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male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (28 July 2017):
RUN FOR THE HILLS
No self-respected man will allow a girl pick the tab every time. The most equal thing would be 50-50 , on my case, I take the tab 100% of the times which I really don't mind.
A guy that let's the woman pay for everything, it's a guy that's taking advantage of a woman, or it's a male gigolo.
IMHO.
A
female
reader, TrueLoveWaits2016  +, writes (27 July 2017):
What everyone is saying is true, if you feel like you are being used, you most likely are. That's extremely ridiculous that you pay every time. Stop seeing him or he will continue to use you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2017): If you see a pattern; use common-sense, my dear. Of course he'll charm your socks off, if you're always footing the bill!
You've cited several examples of his excuses. How many more do you need? You shouldn't have to ask, he should race you to the bill! That's what a real man does.
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A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (25 July 2017):
 An old one this one, If YOU FEEL USED you more than likely are been used, he might be fun but it is not much fun if you feel used, In olden times the man paid because the woman had to buy an expensive dress, but we have moved on from there and women once were made feel that if the man paid for dinner it gave him the right to extras at the end of the night,today we live in a different world and no one should feel used when going out dating someone, you need to draw the line.It might be why he is not with his wife today, she might have got fed up forking out for him most of the time, he sounds like as if he is just tight with all his money under the bed, he may still have the first pound he ever got
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2017): I don't think you should be paying every time for everything the next time he decides to take you out tell him you've not got your purse. Failing that tell him you won't be going out dining etc as your fed up paying.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (25 July 2017):
 As Honeypie said, if you feel used then you're the only person who can stop it.
If you're not happy, tell him.
Simple.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 July 2017):
 Then stop seeing him? Or suggest you pay for yourselves. No one is saying you HAVE to pay. My guess is he knows you are too polite to tell him to pay for himself.
If you are feeling used, it's up to you to nip THAT in the bud.
He sounds like he is full of....
While I don't SEE it as being "used" that the woman is paying - I DO see it as ridiculous if he CLAIMS he will pay or pitch in and he never does. He knows you won't make a scene or make a fuss in public. So yes, he is well aware of what he is doing.
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