A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now so it is still pretty fresh. At first we never had problems with having sex and then the past few weeks I've noticed he just doesn't seem that interested. There would be small excuses from can't be bothered to the lube being lost etc. At first I didn't think much of it but it's starting to feel like he doesn't want to have sex with me and it's not a good feeling. We've spoken about it and he says it's not me just that he's clearly got a lower sex drive than me. I am confused and upset, we now haven't had sex for weeks but I see him 3-4 times a week so to not be having sex at all isnt normal in my opinion. In terms of other intimate actions like kissing hugging etc there are no problems at all but sexually there seems to be a growing problem that he denies. I have never had this problem in a relationship before and we are both only young (21 and 22) so I wouldn't expect it to happen anyway unless there is clearly an issue in his head that he won't open up about? Considering as well that's the relationship is pretty fresh, if our sex life were to decline slightly I wouldn't have expected it to be yet? He should want to be having sex with me? He always says he thinks once a week is enough but for me personally this is not enough and i feel like he should want to have sex with me and have the desire himself but if ever we do, it's always me initiating it never him. I feel like I shouldn't have to ask for sex he should want to do it himself and sometimes I ask and he just says "no" and after awhile thoughts go through your head as to why he might be saying no or what the problem is? He does work really hard in his job so by the time it reaches the weekend he is so tired so sometimes it's understandable but I just need some advice as to where to go from here as i feel upset about the situation.
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kissing, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Blueeyes2121  +, writes (26 December 2017):
 I dont have a clear answer, no matter how hard the job he should still want sex, I think most men that age want it several times a week, esp. if you have only been dating 4 months.
Is he getting it somewhere else?
If he doesnt want sex much then you arent compatible in that area and thats an issue that needs to be fixed asap for a good long term relationship in my opinion and should be talked about.
Good luc.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (26 July 2017):
 Sounds like you're sexually incompatible.
You probably think it sounds like a poor reason to break up with someone but it's completely valid. If you didn't match personality wise you'd break up right? So if you don't match in other areas too then the only thing to do is find someone to fulfill your needs.
You've asked him about it and he doesn't open up so what else can you do? Unless he either gives you a reason or changes things then I can't really see what else you can do besides find someone who has a higher sex drive.
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