A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I need some help please,my boyfriend is living with me but he has left me 3 times now,the First and second time I begged his mother and sister to get him. He came home on both occasions but for some reason he's done it again only this time I've not contacted him. He's txt me a few times saying he loves me and I deserve better?Hr loves me but doesn't feel good enough for me? Yet he says he wants to marry me? He tried to take his own life? He does have depression but so do I. He has lots of people around him, tho he says he hasn't. It gets me angry as I only have one friend and my daughter to speak with. He says he loves me and wishes all the best I'm am and always will be his princess? I don't know what to do as he's saying he's not binning me? Please help I'm so confused right now ?? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (27 July 2017):
 Things won't improve.
He's set the precedent now. He's right, he's not good enough he's wasting your time. Let him waste someone else's, block him and move on.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 July 2017):
 Don't take him back. You might care for him, he might claim to care for you but he is NOT in his right mind to date anyone, AT ALL.
What you have together is not healthy, it's not stable and he IS right when he says he isn't GOOD for you.
He runs when things get tough, complicated or boring. THAT will not stop. So if you continue THAT behavior will continue too.
He needs to focus on his mental health and SO do you. SEPARATELY. You can't "fix" each other by staying together.
Calling you his princess is just empty talk. Words are cheap, actions show who a person really is.
Let him go. Focus on yourself, cut the contact to him AND his family. Working on finding what makes YOU happy and content. HE isn't it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2017): If he repeatedly leaves you, he's probably seeing other women; or going on binges at the pub.
He will tell you whatever you want to hear, if it shuts you up; and he can come home without catching any flack from you. So he gives you sappy sweet-talk, because it always works.
You're a mature woman. Preserve your dignity. He's playing you like a cheap fiddle. He knows you have few friends, and he can come and go as he pleases. You're proving yourself to be desperate; and you're sinking beneath your self-respect to hang-on to a man who doesn't respect you. He insults your intelligence and talks to you like a child.
Seriously?!!
I guess you need to be more social and get out and make some friends. Meet other men. You're allowing yourself to be diddled-around like a fool; because "he has man-parts and a heart-beat." You've limited your own options out of fear of loneliness and complacency. You've adopted that mature-woman's myth that your age doesn't offer you many choices; so take whatever you can get. Any man's better than no man.
So don't complain. Put-up with it!
His depression and suicidal-tenancies require professional attention. You shouldn't have to assume the life-long role or burden of nursemaid in order to get, or keep him. Chasing him down when he's missing in action.
I think he's trying to let you go, but you're a bit clingy.
He knows he's not fit for supporting a family or taking on a wife. You're just a little desperate and refuse to face that reality.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2017): Unless you want a lifetime of him leaving you, I'd stay away from him and not have any contact. I'm sure he expects you to beg him to come back, if you do nothing will ever change.
He obviously has some issues and isn't stable enough for a relationship.
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (26 July 2017):
 Some of my favorite general advice applies here. When someone tells you the truth believe them. He is in fact not good for you. You do deserve better. He is not coming back this time.
As a side note, How do you feel as a 40's woman about being called a princess?
FA
...............................
|
