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I wonder should I tell him how I feel?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 August 2017) 7 Answers - (Newest, 1 August 2017)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

So there's this guy. He was the president of a club I'm in, but this past may he graduated and he's going off to college in 2 weeks. We became really close. He would give me rides places and we would go on runs together. We went out to a formal dinner together and it was so natural. I realized I really like him. We were driving around together when he said how he doesn't like dating within the club and then made a point how he graduated so he wasn't in the club anymore. I met his family before anyone else in the club. We were hanging out with our friends at the river and I couldn't stand up so he let me wrap my arms around his neck since he could stand. That same night we were teasing each other and he says how he considered the dinner a date and felt something, but I couldn't tell if he was joking. Another time we were at dinner with our friends and he let me wear his suit jacket and got worried about me when I wasn't eating.

Now, he's leaving soon and he still doesn't know how I feel. I love him, or at least I think I do (I've never been in love). It breaks my heart that he's leaving, even though it's only 2 1/2 hours away. Should I tell him how I feel? I've considered asking him out to dinner "for old times sakes" and seeing where it goes from there? I just don't know what to do. I'm not expecting a relationship, it just the thought of him leaving without me at least telling him hurts, but in also terrified of rejection. What do I do?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (1 August 2017):

Honeypie agony auntAww Denizen!

I agree with Denizen, you are too young for this guy he is AT least 17-18, you are 13-15. He is off to college where he will meet a LOT of girls his own age.

You have a crush and that is fine.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2017):

You're under-aged, sweetheart. Even if he likes you, he'd be breaking the law; and could end-up in jail, if he got intimate with a girl your age.

Fortunately; he's going away to college and that will put the proper distance between you. He's your summer-crush. As long as he keeps his hands to himself; and there is nothing more than friendliness between you, it's okay.

If you try and pull-off something secret, you're inviting him to break the law; and any discovery of you two will land him in prison. How would you feel about that? It wouldn't be your fault, it would be his. He's expected to know better than to seduce an under-aged girl. You need to get your little hormones under control.

Your parents aren't doing a good job at monitoring whom you're spending time alone with. If you're sneaking around behind their backs, you have betrayed their trust.

If he rejects you, that means he respects you and the law.

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A male reader, Riot2017 Mexico +, writes (1 August 2017):

You need to gather a lot of courage and tell him how you feel, regardless of how that ends.

I tell you that, because you don't want to live with any regrets or "what if" thoughts.

It's very healthy for you to tell him that, and will get you enough confidence to do it again on the future.

Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2017):

I'm the writer of this, I don't know how to update. But I just noticed I put in the year of birth wrong. I'm 16 not 13-15

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (1 August 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntIt will hurt, OP, but he shouldn't have led you on. It wasn't fair of him to spend so much 1-on-1 time with a young teenager who was bound to develop a crush on him.

The problem is that he's too old, OP. Telling him won't help. You need to let this fade. It won't bother you in a year, possibly not even in a few months.

You like that he made you feel important and mature, but telling him will only hurt you more.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (1 August 2017):

N91 agony auntDenizen is right.

You're too young for him, you're at completely different stages in your lives. Let this one go, you have plenty of time to find someone who things will work with.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (1 August 2017):

Denizen agony auntSorry my love but you are too young for him. You may carry a torch for him but that is all it can be for now. He's going to college anyway so what can you hope for?

Sometimes you just have to be realistic. I have just about resigned myself to the fact that I am never going to be with Kylie Minogue. Sad but true.

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