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Do men ever regret dumping a good woman?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 August 2017) 8 Answers - (Newest, 2 August 2017)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Want to ask the other women on this site,I treated my ex great I thought, I did every thing to try to make him happy,its been over a year now, do you think he ever thinks of me. Do men ever regret dumping a good woman, oh he ghost me, never got a hold of me, how can he just act like, two years never happened. Just having a hard time moving on.

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A male reader, Riot2017 Mexico +, writes (2 August 2017):

It depends.

If your ex thought you were a good woman, I think he probably regrets it.

If your ex doesn't consider you as a good woman, he won't probably regret it.

Regardless of what he thinks, regardless of what he does, I think you should move on, rebuild your life again, and move forward.

It's time to think about yourself, and ways on how to improve yourself.

Best luck!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (2 August 2017):

Honeypie agony auntDo I think HE thinks of you?

Maybe, but not in the way you would like him too. As in, I don't think he looks back and remembers this awesome woman he just dumped out of the blue. He might look back and feel a little bad for stringing you along or even dating you. NOT because there was/is anything "wrong" with you but because he knew it just wasn't right FOR HIM. OR he might not give a flying fart. WHO knows? And WHY care?

He obviously wasn't as good of a guy as you thought or deserve. Someone who can "ghost" a PARTNER after 2 years is honestly a twatwaffle!

Let him go and STOP beating yourself up. I SERIOUSLY doubt YOU did something "wrong" to deserve being ghosted after 2 years. So it's not you, it's HIM.

WHY are you still focused on this guy? WHY are you letting him roam around your head a year later? He doesn't DESERVE your concerns, your care or even a moment of your time.

Don't you think it's time to move on and enjoy life? You only have on. Why waste it on "what if's" about a guy who dumped you?

His loss - chin up and love on.

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (2 August 2017):

Dionee' agony auntThey do only if they've had a realisation. At least that's what my guy friends tell me.

If he still has the same attitude and feelings towards you that he always did then no he won't regret dumping you.

If he never realises how good you are then to hell with him! You pick your head up and move on dear.

Good luck.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (2 August 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt " Ever " is a bit too final, but , generally speaking, no, I don't believe they do.

First, if someone realizes he made a big mistake, nobody prevents him from trying to fix it, by going back to the person they treated poorly, apologizing, eating some humble pie , and asking for a second chance. I think that , if people realize that they have made a terrible relationship blunder, it would come natural to them to try and fix it, even without much chances of success, just to be able to tell themselves " Hey, at least I tried ". If they never try, it means that they are fine with the status quo, and without that person in their life, which, good or not, they do not need or want anymore.

Second, one can appreciate and aknowledge that you are a good woman, an excellent woman, and still not feel willing/ capable to be in a relationship with you. You could be an excellent woman, but not his type physically and not generating enough chemistry. You could be an excellent woman but he still he does not feel a special emotional connection. Or, you two are not compatible intellectually. Or, your lifestyle and habits clash too much. Or , or, or.

For whatever reason, A may think that B is nice, good, excellent, admirable, and still not the right one for him / her.

Love is a mistery, a part of it is irrational, instinctual, subconscious. I do not doubt that things would be better for everybody and life would be easier if we could base love strictly upon a rational foundation, like : " This is a good woman- faithful, honest, hard working, kind, etc. etc-- so I am going to fall in love with her ". In practice, though, it does not work like that, a person can see that you are a good woman, and still feel that you'd make a wonderful wife... for some other man.

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A male reader, judgedick France +, writes (2 August 2017):

judgedick agony aunteven though you only asked for what women think on this one I can't help but think he might think about you but he might be happy where he is at, the relationship might have to be good in your eyes but it might not be what he was looking for, there are many different men and each one brings out something different in the other person and he might not have to be happy with what you brought out in him,

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2017):

I'm curious. Why would you ask women what men think?

The answer to your hypothetical question is, yes and no.

Treating people good doesn't always mean they're happy to be with you,or want to stay with you. Just because you're a good woman doesn't mean you always choose the right man for yourself. We often choose who we want and desire; over what we deserve, or who is best for us. You may think you were everything he should have.

If he dumps you; obviously you're not. Or at least he doesn't think you were at the time. If he can let you go, and isn't aware of what you're worth; you were barking up the wrong tree to begin with. He did you a great favor! Who needs stupid???!!! It's his loss!

Of course he regrets hurting you, or may regret taking advantage of a good woman. If he doesn't really deserve her or love her in the first place; what exactly is the point of her being with him? Why should she waste her time, and misdirect her love to someone who doesn't appreciate it?

Then be pissed he doesn't?

The options are, to leave him; or make better choices in men.

If she had hopes all her martyrdom and love would change him; the mistake she makes is doing it all for the wrong guy. The outcome is not what she deserves or expected. The truth is, the relationship failed based on things that just didn't jibe. Crucial details that were overlooked. Blind-love is foolish love. Incompatibilities that rose to the surface that were buried in denial, that just couldn't be fixed. Not to ignore the fact he may not have wanted to fix them.

Men feel just as much pain, but don't openly express emotion in the same way as women. If he feels it isn't working; the logical thing to do is let her go. She feels he should fight for the relationship that he doesn't want, because she does. I guess you have to be on the same page, and you have to exert equal effort. One-sided effort is the definition of futility.

If you hang-on in spite of his faults. He's not going to change. He'll just tire of the drama and let go. His regret comes in not being honest, letting his guard down, and not seeing things for what they were. He also knows when he's doing what's best for her. Even if she can't at the time.

If you can't see the coldness that was always there, for trying to change him; you will when he lets you go. You can be a good woman; but if you're also a smart woman, you'll know you can do better. How he feels after you're gone is irrelevant. Clinging to the past and starving for closure is just letting bitterness have it's way. It's surrendering your power, and empowering him over your emotions.

Men cannot be held accountable for misguided notions about love, unrealistic expectations; and women attracted to male-types that are highly desirable, but totally wrong for her.

Sometimes women actually believe they are the driving force and the only one doing whats best for the relationship. If you're blind to your own faults by being too busy trying to make him aware of his; he will "unregrettably" dump you. Sorry only that he was never really able to be what was expected of him; or didn't run the other way at first sight.

Even oblivious to her own faults. A woman may do wonderful things for him, they're faithful, and they make sacrifices or deny themselves what they want for his sake. Never considering, he wouldn't do it; and really didn't want her to. Why say no if she makes that choice without consulting you about it? How could you refuse?

If a relationship ends. You have to focus on your own survival. You have to regain your own power and strength. You do not wait for his permission, validation, or approval. You don't need to look back to see if he feels as much pain about it as you do. His pain and regret are unimportant, once he lets you go. You look forward and you don't look back. You avoid making the same mistakes you did with him!

Men who deserve the woman they have, who love the woman they have, will do everything they can to keep the woman they have. Regret is feeling remorse or sorry for doing something you shouldn't have done. It's not an emotion you try to hold on to. Only men without feelings have no regrets. Who cares about men like that?

You may delete this or ignore it. I wanted to share my wisdom. Maybe it can help somebody else.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (2 August 2017):

N91 agony auntIn all honesty, I doubt it.

I don't think he would of broken up with you if it meant he would be thinking about you often. Sounds like you may need some councilling to help you get over this if you're still thinking about it all a year on.

Time waits for no one, so you're really doing yourself an injustice by moping around after someone who doesn't deserve it.

Pick yourself up, move past it and get yourself back out there to find someone who will make you happy.

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A male reader, VitaminZ United States +, writes (2 August 2017):

There's a lot more good women out there than there are good men. For men that have their act together, there's usually a few great women around the corner. Your ex might think about you, but he might have moved on.

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