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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Triangle friendship double cross!
Q. Ive been friends with my friend (Samantha) for 5 years and its really had its ups and downs throughout the years but things started to get worse, the competitiveness, the jealousy etc. We love each other very much but there is a lot negativity and ...
A. 8 December 2017: You can't undo something like what you did I'm afraid. 2 Years of backstabbing is a lot.
I wouldn't necessarily say her still contacting you has any ulterior motive behind things. I think the only option that you have is to give her space and see ... (read in full...)
My pretty friend gets constant attention. How do I cope?
Q. This is long but I feel that details and some background info are important to get an understanding for some answers. This is not your typical, my friend is evidently prettier than me story. I have a friend who is very pretty. She's not a supe...
A. 4 December 2017: If this is the main thing you're worrying about in life I've say you've got it pretty easy.
There's much more important things to be concerned about and id say you're pretty shallow for this to be a main concern. Everybody has their differen... (read in full...)
I broke it off. Was I right? How do I move on?
Q. I was with her for 1 year. Everything was going great until 3-4 months in we started having problems. We both made mistakes and we’ve been on and off many times. We somehow managed to move past all of that and we fell in love. It’s then when we got ...
A. 4 December 2017: Yes you were right.
You weren't happy and she was doing nothing to ease your mind when you confronted her. There's only so much you can do to make her change her ways and she wasn't interested. Stick to it, block her number and move forwards... (read in full...)
He wants me to trust him but he doesn't behave as someone that I can trust!
Q. Hello. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I've been seeing my current boyfriend off and on for about eight months now. During that time we have had several breakups. Once over him being too flirty with another girl as I stood by as a ...
A. 3 December 2017: I read 3 lines into your question before writing this...
Just break up, do you honestly think it's going to work out if you'v had multiple breakups in 8 months? He is not the one, stop wasting your time.
Block, delete and move on.... (read in full...)
Should I have an affair with a married man?
Q. This is going to make me sound like a horrible person... Maybe I am. I've been infatuated with this man for months. I can tell he doesn't care about me emotionally because once I say no to a booty call, he says good bye. I'm not going to lie, I'...
A. 3 December 2017: No, on what planet would you think it's acceptable?
How would you feel if you were married and some sleazy woman tried to fuck your husband behind your back? So why should you become that woman?
If this guy had any decency he would divorce hi... (read in full...)
The boyfriend and the friend who doesn't know we're together: I want to be put first for once
Q. One of my boyfriends friends and I don't get along because of things that happened in the past between us, so we mutually agreed not to speak to one another. My boyfriend tells me that he likes the guy, but they aren't that close. I don't mind them ...
A. 1 December 2017: Why are you being kept secret?
What drama will be caused? Why would he care about drama if he wants to be with you? I think there's a reason you're being hidden. I'd want to know what that reason is.... (read in full...)
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
Q. I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
A. 1 December 2017: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the read.
And you're right, I have met someone since that I'm now in a happy relationship with because I learnt what behaviours I wouldn't accept and what I wanted out of a future partner.
I think a lot of g... (read in full...)
I'm obsessed with the man I had a little bit of fun with, 16 years ago!
Q. This is really weird. So, some 16 years ago, I had a one night stand with this acquaintance - we traveled together to a new city with a group of friends and stayed in the same house. I was relatively sexually inexperienced and socially inept. The ...
A. 1 December 2017: I really don't understand what you're fanaticising over.
He made you give him a blowjob because you couldn't get the sex to work out because of the location.......fantastic.
You need to let this go, you both have lives and this guy clearly has ... (read in full...)
Back in touch after 6 months but still confused where I stand with him
Q. Hey all - this is a long one so please bear with me. About 6 months ago, a guy I knew started flirting with me and I told him I liked him and he replied that he thought I was fit but just wanted "laughter". There came a point where he wanted to do ...
A. 30 November 2017: The real question is why are you still trying to work it out?
If he was interested he would be asking you out on dates and moving things forwards, not chatting a load of crap and confusing you.
He sounds like a complete waste of time. I've be... (read in full...)
He chose my friend over me but now I think he likes me
Q. Me and this boy went out for about a month then broke up,he then turned for me for help cos he liked my friend.I got jealousy missed him and told him I love him.whilst he was making up his mind we were making out at mine.he then decided know and ...
A. 30 November 2017: You're way too young for this kind of thing.
The most important thing for you right now is concentrating on school and doing well there. I can guarantee anything relating to boys now will never last, you're still kids and should be doing kids thi... (read in full...)
When is it time to tell my FWB goodbye
Q. I've been talking to this boy for around 3 months every day and have always said it will be a causal thing. I guess it's as close a thing you can get to friends with benefits. We get on well and there are genuinely no deep feelings from either side. ...
A. 29 November 2017: I agree with Aiden.
If the other guy has no feelings then why does he keep coming back? Surely if you lost touch and he didn't care then he would just leave it?
I think you'd be better off ending things now and just concentrating on... (read in full...)
Should the other woman tell his wife about the affair?
Q. Should the other woman tell his wife about the affair? I know many would use harsh and negative remarks on such question. I did no Contact and he reached out and I caved in. I am thinking of telling his wife so that I can move on for good forever...
A. 28 November 2017: Leave the wife alone.
You and her husband are the ones at fault here and you're contemplating hurting an innocent woman because you're too selfish to hit the block button?
Get over yourself. It's easy to ignore someone, do that instead of ruini... (read in full...)
I like a guy but he seems to prefer a slimmer girl, do I have a chance?
Q. Been working at Starbucks for about a year now, it's right next to my uni business school. There's a guy who's been coming in for the last few months and is pretty lush hehe, blond, blue eyes, muscular and wears our uni rugby T shirt, he's rly tall ...
A. 28 November 2017: How could we possibly know?
You're going to have to ask him if you want an answer. What's with the negativity to the other girl also? She couldn't use the till properly so you got annoyed because he said she's cute? I think you need to grow up ... (read in full...)
Can we get back to normal after swinging?
Q. Do you think there’s any hope of a relationship going back to normal after swinging? My husband and I have tried it - yes we had a lot of fun - but the lifestyle isn’t for me. When I tell him I want to stop we fight because he doesn’t want to stop. ...
A. 28 November 2017: YOU are not destroying anything.
Don't put the blame on yourself. You tried something to spice up your sex life and it's not for you and don't want to do it anymore. Your husband is the one being selfish basically saying he's no longer happy ju... (read in full...)
Can we get back to normal after swinging?
Q. Do you think there’s any hope of a relationship going back to normal after swinging? My husband and I have tried it - yes we had a lot of fun - but the lifestyle isn’t for me. When I tell him I want to stop we fight because he doesn’t want to stop. ...
A. 28 November 2017: There's no alternative than to tell him.
Option one would be a dreadful idea, one that would probably end up with a lot of resentment and an even bigger bust up down the line more than likely.
Tell him you're done with it, he either agrees to... (read in full...)
I think my uncle is hitting on me
Q. I think my uncle is attracted to me. First of all, excuse my English please :( Unfortunately, it’s not my first language. So, the problem is that my uncle’s brother (well, probably my other “uncle”, huh?) is acting strange. Well, you may t...
A. 28 November 2017: If you feel uncomfortable I would directly tell him how he's making you feel. If you do that and nothing changes I would bring it to the attention of a family member and hopefully he will back off. ... (read in full...)
Help me deal with this pee fetish?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I have a problem I've never confessed to anyone and I certainly can't blurt it out to my pastor at the altar. I can't tell him in private either bc when people of the church sin, he brings it to everyone's attention so we ca...
A. 28 November 2017: I have no advice about your problem, I just had to say that your church sounds absolutely insane. I've never heard such a crazy story as a group of people harassing someone to drop a criminal charge.
Surely you can't think that group is benefitt... (read in full...)
How do we choose which couple to ask To join us on the cruise?
Q. My husband and I used to be very close with 2 other couples. It was always the 6 of us doing stuff together. We never made plans without including both coupled and vice versa. Well the 2 couples had a very serious falling out and are no longer ...
A. 27 November 2017: I wouldn't invite either.
Like female anon said, it would look like you're choosing sides and could involve the couple not selected falling out with you and your husband. IMO, it's not worth it. Just enjoy the cruise with your partner.... (read in full...)
I said yes to a guy but I just don't like him that way
Q. So I know this guy for about 4 days now. We met when I was stuck in my car on a road and he helped me to get back home. Then he asked me for my phone number and I gave him, because he was acting sweet and I thought we could make good friends. He ...
A. 27 November 2017: I agree with honeypie, it sounds like you're getting into the territory of leading this guy on.
You don't like him romantically and that's fine, but it would be the right thing to do to inform him of that as I think it's giving the wrong answer s... (read in full...)
Am I selfish for not wanting a relationship? My parents are desperate for a grandchild but I'm not so sure I'm ready
Q. I'm just curious as to what others think about this situation or if anyone else has had a similar problem. I'm 23 and I've never dated nor been in a relationship (and therefore obviously a virgin), but that is mainly by choice as I have no desire...
A. 27 November 2017: Sorry to hear about the death of your bother, I hope you're coping with it well enough.
I think it's wrong of your parents to keep dropping hints like they are doing. This is YOUR life, therefore you make the decisions about what goes on it in. I... (read in full...)
I've been hooking up with my ex and now he wants proper sex but I'm hesitant because I want my first time to be with a boyfriend
Q. I am a 16 year old girl. I dated this guy for a year and a half, but we broke up in January when I found out he had been sexting other girls. Over the summer, he changed a lot, and he decided he wanted to get back together with me. I told him I'd ...
A. 27 November 2017: If you even have to ask this question then deep down you don't want to do it.
You know if you have sex you're just gonna be another notch on his bedpost and another thing to brag about to his friends.
Question for you though, if you're broken... (read in full...)
I want to sleep with my wifes cousin.
Q. So my wife has a really attractive cousin who I only see on holidays and up until now she’s been in a relationship. Well she’s newly single and I noticed she seems to be interested in me as well and has given vibes that she’s feeling it too. I sat ...
A. 27 November 2017: Ask your wife.
Heck, maybe there's someone she wants to sleep with also and you can use it as a little trade off?
Maybe think with your head about it rather than your dick. YOU ARE MARRIED. Of course it's a terrible idea.
If you don't lo... (read in full...)
Bad itching in pubic area a few days after shaving?
Q. For context, i am an 18 year old male. I hate my pubic hair and I often shave it, usually once a month if not more depending on the occasion. However recently my skin has started to itch and become irritated during hair regrowth. Luckily I don't get ...
A. 26 November 2017: Why don't you just trim it?
I don't think it's something you'll be able to stop happening to be quite honest. I shaved them once in the past and had the same problem and never did it again, I just keep them nicely trimmed now and never had a pr... (read in full...)
Should I tell my son that his girlfriend is cheating on him?
Q. My sons girlfriend is cheating on him??? Both she and my son are 25 and have been together for just over 9 years. I received an e-mail from someone who has sent me evidence that she has been cheating on him for the past 5 years with his BFF. I ...
A. 26 November 2017: How are you even pondering this?
This is YOUR SON. Of course you tell him. How betrayed would he feel if he found out about it all and that you knew and didn't tell him? Your primary concern as a mother is to protect your children.
Surely ... (read in full...)
I love her, but can't say it out loud!
Q. i knew this girl for 3 months now and we are getting along so well, i love everything about her and i feel like home when i'm with her. we match to each other and have the same frequency. i'm a great listener and i love to listen to her speak. ...
A. 24 November 2017: Living together is a terrible idea.
If you think things are hard work now it will increase tenfold when all she's doing is spending time with her ex/bf or crying on your shoulder about him. If she sees you as a friend and you want more then you... (read in full...)
He believes lies people say about me!
Q. I've been with my bf for 6 months now , a few weeks in to our relationship we were having a nice day out when some girl accused me of being a prostitute and since then people have said horrible stuff about me when my bf has been with me and despite ...
A. 23 November 2017: Why even try fighting your corner?
If he doesn't believe you.....goodbye. It's simple.... (read in full...)
Am I missing something here? He asked for my number but never called!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm a 22 y/o female from Memphis, TN .. ? I recently got close with this guy that I work with .. We talk, laugh, and joke .. He even gave me a little cute nickname. At first I wasn't really into it, but then I started to really enjoy th...
A. 23 November 2017: If he was interested he would call, simple.
And I have to agree with wiseowl, if a girl sent me a note with a whole load of bible readings, if be insanely creeped out.... (read in full...)
I've reconnected with an old boyfriend but don't want to hurt my most recent ex!
Q. Hi I've recently met an old boyfriend from years ago ,we still like each other ,I've been in a relationship over a number of years ,but split 3 years ago but are still friends ,it was a violent relationship that's why it ended but I still have ...
A. 22 November 2017: This post isn't very clear at all.
Who is violent? Your ex or the new guy? If it's who you've reconnected with then I think you'd be EXTREMELY irresponsible to get back together with him.
I think you need to update this post and be more clea... (read in full...)
He's broken up with me after enlisting in the Army!
Q. Hello, I need some advice. I started dating this guy, he's the guy I never thought I'd want but ended up falling for. When we met we both and came out of long relationships. We talked for about a year and then got together, after a year of an am...
A. 22 November 2017: Id say this is very common amongst couples where one half is in the military. In fact one of my friends broke up with his GF because they spent so much time apart they felt it wasn't worth it anymore.
I'd say your BF has had the same realisat... (read in full...)
New in the office but I'm unsure of co-workers
Q. Should I trust this colleague? I just started at a firm downtown and in my previous role I was very talkative I would open up a lot to co-workers etc (I can’t read people sometimes) in this new job I started I noticed one of my colleagues is trying ...
A. 22 November 2017: You've seen first hand that they talk behind others backs so you have your answer already.
You're at work to carry out a job, not make friends. Keep a polite and professional relationship and don't get suckered into any gossiping. Keep yourself... (read in full...)
Please counsel me on this man
Q. Hello, I am 46 years old. I met a man from the US online and over two years we have been talking on the phone and communicating via email. We got along very well and he told me he would visit in January of the second year of our meeting. When the ...
A. 22 November 2017: What are you getting out of this?
He sounds like a compulsive liar that's using you as an escape from his day to day life. My question, what would ever come of this?
Stop wasting your time, find a relationship closer to home. ... (read in full...)
Can you help explain my boyfriend's strange behaviour?
Q. I have a bizarre problem! I've been seeing my boyfriend for ten months and we often go away and stay at hotels but the thing is he picks me up after work about 3pm then when we arrive at our hotel he wants to literally go to bed straightaway and ...
A. 22 November 2017: This sounds a lot like he's living some kind of double life and you're the piece on the side.
Do you visit each other's homes? I've never heard of people VERY frequently going to hotels together to do this sort of thing. Sounds like he's trying t... (read in full...)
I wasn't interested dating because I might move soon but looks like I'm in a relationship now!
Q. So I am a 24 year old guy who had no intentions of dating anyone, because I did not want to start anything during this time in my life. I started working at a part time job and met this girl who I talked to from time to time, who eventually asked...
A. 22 November 2017: It's not early, 7 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things.
If you think she's getting emotionally invested and you KNOW there's a good chance you'll be leaving, I think it's very selfish of you to keep things going just so you've got some... (read in full...)
I asked my co-worker out but she said she would think about it. How long before I ask her again?
Q. Ok so I asked a girl I work with out to have dinner with me. We have been working together for around 6--8 months. I know her pretty well, but not really well, but in the end I just thought "who cares, go for it". So I asked her and she said it ...
A. 22 November 2017: She wasn't happy or flattered that you asked.
Someone that was happy and flattered would of been doing everything in their power to arrange a date and declare their interest back. What she did is diffused the situation in the most polite way poss... (read in full...)
Any advice on Dear Cupid burn-out?
Q. I know I'm not the most active poster here and I'm not hoping that anyone would recognize me but I'm just gonna post this here for a message and maybe some advice. I'm thinking of leaving DearCupid for some time, all this posts about cheating...
A. 22 November 2017: People don't need advice when things are going well, so of course this website is only going to hear of negative experiences in relationships.
If you are living your life with that kind of doubt in your relationship then why not stop driving ... (read in full...)
Why would he not see me in 2 months then turn around and say he loves me loads?
Q. hi everyone. person i'm seeing for a year now,we not had the exclusive talk but hes told me we friends but seeing where it goes etc we are sleeping together mostly when we see each other sex is involved 9/10 times it happens now recently iv not ...
A. 21 November 2017: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-is-he-doing-his-last-text-said.html
This sounds really familiar.
If you're not together after seeing each other for a year you never will be. Stop wasting your time. He's feeding you what you want to hear... (read in full...)
I feel that my boyfriend's ex wife was living my dream life and I'll never match up to her
Q. Dear Cupid, I am off for the next week due to holidays and as my boyfriend is working, I offered to work on clearing out his storage. Now he has an ex wife of 10 years(divorced in 2009) and I brought home a ton of boxes that were never unpacked. ...
A. 21 November 2017: I don't think people who are lovely cheat on their spouse.
How exactly is being divorced living a dream life? I'm not sure where you're coming from and of course they liked each other at one point, why else would they marry? But dream life? So... (read in full...)
He's taken my wife. Should I be worried?
Q. my wife an I have been married for 3 years. however things have been interesting for last 18 months. we have a neighbour Raymond who is divorced for a long time and is 44. he has two girls about 8 and 12. me and my wife are both 28. however 18 ...
A. 21 November 2017: This has to be a troll surely.
If not, then the guy has very clearly stated that he intends to steal your wife from you. If you're worried about that, then yes, I would say you should be concerned.
... (read in full...)
Triangle friendship double cross!
Q. Ive been friends with my friend (Samantha) for 5 years and its really had its ups and downs throughout the years but things started to get worse, the competitiveness, the jealousy etc. We love each other very much but there is a lot negativity and ...
A. 20 November 2017: Good on Sam.
I'd of dropped you like a bad habit also. How can you honestly say you care about her and then chat crap behind her back for 2 years? That makes no sense at all. A good friend would defend someone when they're unable to defend t... (read in full...)
My world has come crashing down because my wife just told me that the daughter we've been raising is not mine but from her affair after the marriage!
Q. My wife and i have been married for 3 years, 6 months ago she told me something that rocked my core. the daughter i have been raising is not mine. she had an affair 2 years ago. the reason she cheated was that she was a virgin when we got married ...
A. 20 November 2017: I can understand your world being turned upside down by these two experiences and I'm sorry to hear you've had to go through them both.
Firstly, you cheating won't solve anything. It will just make the situation even more confusing and messed u... (read in full...)
I sent him a nude, I hope he hasn't lost respect for me.
Q. I posted a while ago saying i had a met a man with quite an usual job- he's a travel author (fairly successful). He is 35 years old, is in the public eye quite a lot and has a lot of female attention. I went on 2 dates with him back in june but then ...
A. 19 November 2017: Personally, if I was sent a nude I'd think the girl in question wants something sexual and is going to give it up very easily.
If you want a guy to like you deeply, this is absolutely not the way to go about it.... (read in full...)
What is he doing? His last text said he still wants me but that was November third!
Q. hi i am seeing a man, don't what sort of relationship it is but hes not text me in 2 weeks and not seen me in 2 months now, i did text him 2 weeks ago asking whats going on my text to him was " how are you ive not heard off you in weeks how can yo...
A. 17 November 2017: Stop wasting your time.
Words mean nothing. The fact that he hasn't seen you in 2 months is the indication that he can't be bothered. NOBODY on this planet is that busy that they cannot spare 30 minutes for a coffee and a chat.
He's a time w... (read in full...)
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
Q. I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
A. 20 September 2016: Glad you guys enjoyed it.... (read in full...)
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