A
female
age
26-29,
*obleneekz
writes:I am 16 yr old sophomore and my senior boyfriend who is 18. We really hadn't done anything else but make out. Until this year, last week was spring break and we went to the beach and we had talked about doing more than kissing but I ha no idea it would be this quick after we talked about it! But we were on the beach and wondered off from our friends and we started making out and he moved his hand down to my lady area. And I was wearing as cute skirt which made easy access and he pulled my undies down and he has really big hands and fingers bc he works on the farm. And I had never been fingered before and he stuck not one but three of his big fingers up me and the next day it hurt so bad. Then when we got back into out hometown he wanted me to come over and watch a movie with him and he needed up fingering me again. And this time he ate me out which it was kinda weird but felt so good! But it's been almost a week since he fingered me first and I'm still hurting! And he didn't pop my cherry bc there was no blood after. But I am still wondering why I am still hurting its been almost a week!!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 March 2013):
 Honey I'm 53 and I've had two kids and three fingers up me would hurt too...
If you have not been to a gyn it's time to go.
get a check up and get on some birth control because sex with him is coming fast....
and then sit him down and explain to him that you are a GIRL and girls are gentle and different and he can't base what he does on those silly porns he sees online.. they are made to be over the top.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 March 2013):
 I agree with Auntie Em.
Dirty fingers in your ladybits is a HUGE no-no. It can cause infections and if he had ANY nails that was jagged you could have gotten scratched up inside too which again can lead to infection. He needs CLEAN hands/fingers. YOU need to tell him to NOT stick 3 fingers in. Go slow with this and don't just LET him do whatever, he sounds VERY inexperienced and honestly quite inconsiderate. Your vagina is not a oven mit, he needs to not jam the whole hand up there.
If it DOES keep hurting you need to go see your doctor.
Also you REALLY need to think about birth control. Because it won't be long before he will want to have penetrative sex. Him using a condom would be good BUT you SHOULD both be using protection. So again TALK to your doctor. If you say, OH I can't do that! then you shouldn't be doing sexual things AT ALL.
And most girls don't bleed a lot from having their hymen broken, and MANY don't even have a hymen any more from being active in sports. So in some senses YES, he did pop your cherry.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (22 March 2013):
 It sounds like you are being very passive and just 'letting things happen'. Sex is a partnership between two people: if you just lay there and wait to find out what he's going to do you're going to end up with more pain and feeling dissatisfied at best, and taken advantage of at worst.
Be actively engaged in the activity when it's happening: stop your boyfriend if he is not doing something thats ok (like 3 big fingers!!!). Make sure he is careful, tender and responsive to you. Make sure he's as interested in your pleasure as his... which it sounds like he is, he just needs to you point out to him what feels good and what doesn't! He's not going to know automatically.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (22 March 2013):
 If someone is sticking their dirty fingers up you and it happens on a beach, you could have an infection caused by either dirt or sand. Go to your doctor and have a test. A lot of boys/men have very bad personal hygiene and if he has wiped his butt or been playing with his penis and not washed his hands before touching you, it won't be too long before you get an infection. One of the more common ones is E-coli (found in fecal matter) it can spread to your bladder and give you a very nasty infection.
The next time the guy comes near you tell him to wash his hands.
Other easily spread sexually transmitted diseases are Chlamydia (which can affect you fertility) Syphilis (which is very very common and causes sores and boils),genital warts and herpes (which causes sores and lesions) which there is no cure for...you will have these conditions for life once caught. HIV (which attacks your immume system and can lead to full blown AIDS if left untreated) again this is for life and will require lifelong management.
There are hardly any signs that men carry these diseases and if you have multiple partners your risk of contracting an STI is much higher.
Take precautions and think about your long term health, that way you severely cut the risk of getting an STI.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (22 March 2013):
 ouch!! it's hurting because your boyfriend doesn't know what he's doing! you don't jam three massive fingers inside of a girl who has never done that with anyone before. bless your heart. no wonder you're in pain.
since this is your first time ever, your boyfriend should have only used one finger, and been really gentle, until you got comfortable later on down the road. also, were you wet when he did it? had you two been kissing and making out for a while beforehand and gotten you turned on? if you weren't wet and he did that, holy crap would that not feel good! that would hurt like shit!
my suggestion: stick to the oral sex until your boyfriend can figure out how not to kill you. or start with oral sex and make sure you're really wet first, and THEN use his finger. *note* singular, NOT plural. only ONE finger. and make sure he does it gently. eventually you may want more than one and you may want it a bit harder and rougher. but to start off with, i definitely suggest one and gentle.
i can give you some personal pointers if you feel like coaching your boyfriend. what a lot of people don't understand is that it doesn't take much to hit a woman's g-spot using your hand. as fun as jamming all your fingers into someone is, it's really unnecessary. all your boyfriend needs is one finger and the proper motion. the g-spot is usually about a fingers length deep and against the vaginal wall. it usually feels like a somewhat rougher patch of skin than the surrounding skin. if he puts a finger inside of you and starts making the "come here" motion - slowly at first - (like he's telling you to come over with his finger) that's typically how you hit the spot and give a woman a freaking unbelievable orgasm that doesn't make them walk funny for weeks afterwards.
pass on the word. some older men need coaching on this, as well.
anyway, good luck and take some ibuprofen. you'll feel better in no time. just don't let him destroy you like that again. and don't afraid to speak your mind about him hurting you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2013): Because you have never done anything sexual. Tell him to use only one finger and to be gentle. It's going to hurt, it is NORMAL. After you are no longer a virgin then it should stop hurting, the more you do it the more enjoyable it gets. But depending on the size and roughness of a man it can be sore in my case every time I have sex I am sore for about 4-5 days.
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