A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem, at first I thought its just a 'phase' that I would get over eventually but sadly no!I'm very possesive of my friends(girlfriends), I don't mind them being friends with others but the minute I feel they are getting close and maybe I would be replaced I get ticked off, and I create problems between them, so I could have my friend to myself! and yes that's not a good thing to do but I have done it, I have never made up problems but if I know something that would ruin someone's friendship instead of hiding it I would tell them! I don't know why I do this, sometimes I relate to my childhood upbringing, cuz my father was never there for me, he wouldn't talk to me, all he did was give me pocket money! may be I want attention, I want everyone to be with me,and I become their priority! how do I fight this? eventually when I have a boyfriend I don't want to scare them! what do I do?
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female
reader, llifton +, writes (21 March 2013):
 well at least you recognize this pattern and trait and are wanting to fix it sooner than later. to an extent, it is rather childsh, but honestly, i think women back stab each other in this way rather frequently. it's quite sad.
i think you may be on to something with the whole attention thing. perhaps you have this fear of being replaced or being left behind. or that someone won't make enough time for you, etc. basically what you said: attention. but if it's this bad now with just friends, imagine how out of control it will be with a boyfriend. it'll be much, much worse.
maybe you should try counseling. learning how to have healthy relationships will save you so much heartache throughout your lifetime. it will save you so many failed friendships and relationships. it's extremely valuable knowledge to have. and i truly believe only a counselor can teach you the best way to break your bad habits and retrain your mind.
think it over. good luck.
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