A
male
age
,
*OUM1983
writes:My Girlfriend has a male friend (15 years) that used to be her physical trainer. He wants to train her again for free and has offered to train her to ber in fitness contests.I am a little skeptical about his part of the "friendship". He seems to text her EVERYDAY and my girlfriend doesnt seem to get back to him. Since we have been living togther (5 months)she has had lunch with him. I am not so worried about herbut it seems he is waging a full frontal assault to make contact with her. I have discussed this with her and she says she has zero interest. How do I discourage this guy or shouldnt that be her job!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2013): 17 days ago, you had been 'dating' this woman for '4 months.' http://www.dearcupid.org/question/she-says-shes-not-interested-in-him-but.htmlA little more than a week ago, you had decided to end the relationship. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-ended-our-relationship-because-i-feel-g.htmlI am concerned that you have been dating and living together and neither of you really seem to know one another. You've been living together longer or about the same amount of time you have been dating. Regardless, a good friend who has supported you for 15 years is going to have more of her attention than a nagging insecure boyfriend of 4 or maybe 5 months.Since this is all you have been able go think about for a good chunk of the time you've been together, your relationship doesn't stand a chance unless you can truly trust her.But this isn't about her. This is about you. You have a problem that you need to address. I'm not sure if you have anxiety, ocd, depression, a personality disorder or something else like an alcohol/drug/food problem...something about yourself that you want to change, something this guy seems to have, something that makes you feel grossly inferior to this friend...something...is consuming you.It is time to focus on making yourself the confident person other people can love. Finally, if your girlfriend is potential fitness model material, there is a good possibility that she has a business arrangement with the personal trainer. He will get publicity as a result of her modeling/winning competitions. People in business relationships often have lunch or go golfing together while they disuss contracts. Lunch between two people in business together is not something that is alarming. It isn't like lunch turned into her going to the club with friends and not coming home until 3:30am missing her underwear. You have no evidence she has done anything wrong. Work on your insecurities and find confidence begore you push her right into his arms.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 March 2013):
 IF you trust your gf then it's a no brainer. let her handle him...
it sounds like she has it under control.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (22 March 2013):
 hey man. got back together with her? i thought you two broke up?
anyway, if this is STILL a problem for you, why are you with her, buddy? it's an ongoing thing. it's clearly not gonna change. either you accept it for how it is or you don't. end of story.
you know the definition of insanity? doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. now i like you, so i'm not calling you crazy. but this is exactly what you're doing. you're doing the same thing over and over with her, but expecting the outcome to change. it's not. it never will. she has this man in her life. either accept that reality or move on. it's as simple or as complex as you choose to make it. but you're really causing yourself so much needless distress. and honestly, your girlfriend, too.
so just stop it! if you trust her, get over it, man! if you don't, dump her! but seriously, for your own sake, stop expecting a different outcome from this situation.
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