A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid,Just eight days ago , I said to my girlfriend's close friend , in front of her, that "Oh my God, you are one hell of a hot girl." . Her friend just smiled whereas my girlfriend said "Enough" . Ever since that happened, my girlfriend has not been talking to her friend and she has been blaming me for friction between them. My question is what's wrong with girls? When you don't talk to their friends, they don't like it. When you do, they also have issue with that. So what should we do now?If her friend is hot , she is hot and why she can't accept the reality and deal with it? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013): Wow, that's the smartest thing a human being has done to another human. Almost as smart as when Napoleon invaded former Russia.
Consider the following: Would you enjoy it if your significant other appraised your friend's great size? That he is strong, tall, and smart? Oh, and in front of you of course.
Think before you speak.
Remember that and you can avoid future problems.
As a "grown" man you still have a lot of manning up to do.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013): You're an idiot and the fact you don't even know it is ... for you to find out! 14-17 responses later you should realise you were very wrong and learn your lesson.Compliment your gf friends, be friendly, but don't go overboard and expect everyone to be happy about it.Reverse the situation and see if you would be happy. You would not, so now you know. Grow up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013): My husband makes plenty of compliments to my friends, but he frase them properly. He says, you look really nice in this dress, or this style of hair really suits you, or did you loose weight? Saying hot carries sexual meaning, it basically means that you are hot for her. This guys that I met keeps calling me hot, I know what he wants, and I told him to stop all this ,hot, talk. It's just the wording was wrong, nothing wrong with giving compliments. Your girlfriend of course took it too strong and on her friend. But may be there is more to it? I once made a remark to one of my friends not to dress the way she does in front of my children and my husband like that. And she didn't react very well. She called me insecure. I was though very firm about it, and she dressed more decent from then on. she used to come basically wearing something like a bra, and tiny shorts, and my then 13 old son kept staring at her boobs. May be there is a issue already with your girlfriend and this girl, and then you compliment stirred it up a little.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 July 2013):
 Seriously ? That's your mindset at 35 ?... that just because something is ( in your personal, subjective opinion !) true, then it NEEDS to be told regardless of context, occasion and whom you are telling it to ?...It's OK to blurt out anything you may happen to think, regardless of other people's feelings , and just plain old good manners ?
If I meet you with your mom and sister, and they look like a big fat old toad, shall I say " My , unbelievable how your mom / sis looks like a big fat old toad ! ". I guess I should. If she looks like a toad she looks like a toad, deal with it.
I think that your wording was very unfortunate too. An average gf can handle, in fact even appreciate, a compliment paid to her friend, but not some sort of come hither with heavy sexual undertones . " You are hot " carries the implication " therefore sexually attractive to me, i.e. if I could I would f..k you in a nanosecond ". Not the most respectful, appropriate thing to say in front of your gf . She is being tolerant ,in fact, other girls would have left you for running your mouth this way. Her only mistake is that she is taking out on her friend the awkwardness and displeasure YOU have generated.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (29 July 2013):
To echo everyone else, way immature! Inconsiderate, rude, disrespectful, etc. etc.
"My question is what's wrong with girls? When you don't talk to their friends, they don't like it. When you do, they also have issue with that. So what should we do now?
If her friend is hot , she is hot and why she can't accept the reality and deal with it?"
There's nothing "wrong" with girls in this situation. The question is, what's wrong with you? You weren't just talking to her friend it came across as making a pass at her. Not only that, it's probably embarrassing to your girlfriend that her own boyfriend would say that to her friend in front of her. I would!
If her friend is hot, then she is hot...but you don't need to advertise that you think so.
I think you need to seriously apologize to your girlfriend in front of her friend and tell her friend that although she is an ATTRACTIVE woman, you didn't mean to come across as pigheaded as you did.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (29 July 2013):
 really man? i can't bring myself to believe you are actually so naive as to think it's normal to tell your girlfriend's friend that she's really hot. i don't care where you're from or who you are. that's not cool and that's not okay. i'd be super pissed and probably break up with someone if they were that big of a douche to me.
what you did is extremely disrespectful and your actions have caused this riff. you're just lucky she hasn't dumped you. i have too much respect for myself to put up with that crap. it's a shame she isn't.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (29 July 2013):
 You were insensitive and disrespectful. I'm surprised that your girlfriend is still with you. This may be the beginning of the end of your relationship. You just earned an X against you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013): You really don't know women. That was rude and disrespectful to your girlfriend. No woman wants to know how hot you find their friends, I'm sure she feels very insecure being around her now.
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A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (29 July 2013):
 Are you sure that you're aged 30-35? It just seems like a really immature thing to say, and the fact that you don't even seem to realise what you've done wrong is worrying. You owe your girlfriend a massive apology and need to keep opinions like that to yourself in the future.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (29 July 2013):
 You were in the wrong there definitely. That was very disrespectful rude and immature. Apologize to both. Women like a calm cool confident man your attitude is repelling.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013): I can't deal with things like this which is why I stay alone. Your girlfriend is probably sensitive like me. Keep thoughts you have about other girls to yourself from now on. She is probably insecure about her looks like a lot of women are.
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A
female
reader, Spaghetti +, writes (29 July 2013):
I am sure if your girlfriend said your friend had a bigger penis than yours, or was hotter than you...you would not feel it was right.
Some stuff we have to keep to ourselves, there are boundaries, and he is your gf's friend. Keep your comments to yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013): Thank God your not my bf.
Honestly its very disrespectful. You should have at least a little decency to think how your gf might react or how she would feel. if I were your gf I would definitely break up with you. Your such a slut. your hitting with her best friend
Now your asking why there is friction between them? How you say it makes the situation bad. you should have a little decency in considering your gf's feelings. but it seems like you don't have any class at all. Now your asking why they are not ok because of you? Tsk, tsk, tsk. poor Girls. if there's someone they should ignore, ITS YOU.
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A
female
reader, Mint93 +, writes (29 July 2013):
How would you feel if your girlfriend told one of your mates that he was hot in front of you?
People in relationships expect them to be the only ones you have eyes for.
The fact that you said that would seem as if you were looking around and not concentrating on your girlfriend.
I expect that she is feeling a little hurt and embarrassed so you should try and apologise and explain that you only have feelings for her.
In time I am sure she and her friend will make up.
Good luck and keep me updated.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013): It is incredibly immature of you not to realise what you did wrong. It was inappropriate and disrespectful of you the way you acted. You crossed a boundary by telling your girlfriend's friend that she was Frieking hot. You can think it but it is both pointless and insensitive to openly gawk at her in front of your girlfriend.
What exactly have you gained by expressing your opinion at the expense of their friendship? It wasn't something you absolutely had to share was it?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013): She has accepted the reality,you said her friend was hot! did you say she was hot too? obviously not.
Wonder if you would 'just accept it' if she say's to your friend infront of you,'wow your super fit,I could shag you' because that is what you might aswell have said.
In time i am sure she will just accept that she has an insensitive dic for a boyfriend.
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