A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ive been with my girlfriend just over a month now, shes 17 and im 20 shell be 18 in december. we were friends before we got together and everythings been great. shes my first ever girlfriend and its been great but now im having thoughts of leaving her as the 17 year old has come out quite a bit and i find it extremely annoying and frustrating. she knows im very ticklish and i don't like being ticked but she does it anyway and it really does get on my nerves, she also recently kept calling me gay which really hurts my feeligns and ive told her to stop it be she carries on. The worst is when weve been with her cousin as she tickles me then basically forces me to sit down so she can put bobbles in my hairshe sometimes plays hard to get and thats fine fair enough but we were laid together and we were going to have sex as she was doing everything she does when she wants to have sex with me and i was doing the same then she all of a sudden stopped and rolled on her side and said "never said id make it easy for you" and she did this about 5/6 times before we actually went all the way but i didnt enjoy it as i was mad at her for keeping doing it just like this morning we were about to and then she went youll miss your bus so i said ill get next one in an hour then she basically went into her tease mode so i then ended up catching it. idk what to do should i break up with her or just talk to her about it? i want to keep her as a friend at least i dont want to make it so we cant be in same room as each other as shes a great friendthanks for your help
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 July 2013):
She is 17.... She is NOT going to be all grown up and mature 100% of the time - Not all 17 year old are super immature, but some are - obviously.. your GF is. ( I know "girls" in their 20's who wold do stupid stuff like that too)
She is most likely also VERY inexperienced. She is not sure what to do, so she "plays games". When it comes to sex she WANTS you to engage, not just HAVE sex.
A
female
reader, dcgirl15 +, writes (22 July 2013):
If you *really* want to fix these problems, I would wait until you two are alone and can have a serious conversation. Tell her that you like her personality a lot but there are some things that she does which you think are disrespectful. See how she handles it. If she accepts the criticism well, then you two may be able to navigate the waters of a relationship and grow with each other. If she doesn't, then it may be better to cut her loose. There is some pressure on you though to phrase this in a way that doesn't make her intensely uncomfortable or feeling dumb. Real relationships are give and take, trial and error.There's a chance that she may be trying to tease you and make herself seem more desirable because she really likes you and she's afraid of the age difference/getting attached/ you thinking you're too good/mature for her. She may think if she puts you down, you'll think she's as good as you are because you'll be insecure too. Hopefully if that's what's happening, it's subconscious. It's something to be wary of though. Only you know whether or not that is actually what's happening.However, it sounds more like you're leaning towards a break up and if it's just not something that's worth trying to fix, listen to your gut. Hopefully reading these answers is helping you decide what you want.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 July 2013):
 I have to strongly disagree with WiseOwle, ( which it happens seldom, btw ). So being 17 is a free pass for being rude and obnoxious ? If you are 17 you are incapable to understand " Knock it off, this bothers me " ?! What part of it can she not understand ?...
That when you have fun, EVERYBODY must be having fun, otherwise is not fun, it's bullying, it's something that most kids understand way before being 17. I think this has nothing to do with teen high jinks and playfulness, this is just being RUDE. At 17 you one is perfectly capable to distinguish what you can joke about or whom you can horseplay with , and when, My teen nieces will tickle each other to death, but they know better than doing it with adults- or anyway with people who does not want to play along. We are talking girls here , not out of control puppies !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2013): I disagree and agree with some answers on here, but I think WiseOwlE has nailed it on the head. I'm an 18-year-old girl, and despite what the first person said, I can act like this, yet I can be quiet, mature, and serious! I don't believe I am immature, I just like being playful from time to time. Nothing wrong with a little fun! Now, my boyfriend enjoys it. I think you just have more of a liking towards older women who tend to be more calm and collected as opposed to girls who are hardly adults. Or, maybe you just don't like the playful 'tude of girls and would rather a much more serious personality. Either way, you probably shouldn't lead this girl on. It sounds like you should get to figuring out "what" type of girls you're into.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (22 July 2013):
 i disagree. exes can absolutely be friends. i have a few of my absolutely very best friends who are my exes. and there is absolutely NO sexual attraction or chemistry between us at all. and my gf is friends with a few of her exes, as well. doesn't bother me at all. everyone is different and handles things differently. i don't hold grudges after break ups. i realize i cared about them for a reason, but that we didn't work out for a reason, also. so we take some time apart and when we are both ready, we can be friends again. some people don't operate that way. they're cut and dry. once it's over, it's over. and that's okay, too. but everyone deals with things differently.
as for this chick. yeah, she's got some growing up to do. you can try to communicate to her how you're feeling, but i suspect it will just hurt her feelings and it'll be a lost cause. but hell, it's worth a shot. just aim for someone a bit older. as iamheretohelpyou said, though, age is not necessarily an indicator of maturity (never would have guessed she's 17 from the advice i've seen her give), but it sure does tend to correlate a lot of the time. good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2013): She's a 17 year-old kid. What do you expect from someone her age? Shes young, playful, and delightfully annoying. You're robbing the cradle, now you're complaining?
Go pick on someone your own age. She is acting pretty much the way happy normal teenagers behave. You want adult, then get an adult.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 July 2013):
 You can't keep your exes as friends. That's a very naive thought. Maybe some, a very few, can be friends. But it's unusual. And it happens looooong after the break up, once people have moved on and are in other relationships, like years later. But most often, by that time, you're strangers to one another.
So no, if you break up with her you wont be keeping her as a friend. But it's a nice break up line: "I like you, but I think it would be best if we stay friends". No one actually means "lets be friends". It's just another way to break up.
As for her immaturity. I don't think it's just her age either, it's just how she is. It's a mix. She's too inexperienced to handle things in an adult manner (but so are you, she's your first girlfriend after all, so you're not more experienced than her). But then it's also her personality.
What I think happened here is that you've just been together a MONTH and already you are sleeping together, already you are having problems etc. Seriously, a month? That's what people normally take on dating, less alone jump into a relationship and then have sex from the get go. Your relationship sounds like it is based more on sex than anything else. No wonder the rest isn't working out.
If you want to sort this out, STOP having sex. You can't base a relationship on sex, and that means you can't have sex from the very beginning. At least give it a few weeks from the start to get to know each other. So, stop the sexual activities and just hang out. And yes, do talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Have a sit down with her and a serious talk. If she responds immaturely and doesn't listen, or doesn't care, then that's your clue to end the relationship.
Also, when you say you've told her to stop many times, I wonder if you're not just mumbling it and without making a fuzz. She probably thinks she's charming, and that you love it. Some people are just dense. So be sure to tell her properly, with a stern voice, under four eyes. And look her in the eyes when you tell her, for her to take it seriously. See what her response is.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2013): She thinks she is being cute. Obviously it's not cute for you. That's why some guys prefer older women who don't play it hard to get especially when in your case there is no reason for it. It's not like you just started dating, you ve been having sex for awhile. She is just being a little damn about the whole thing. I don't now if there is anything you can do, really. Just let her grow up, and may be in a mean time pick someone a little older.
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