A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure if this has been asked before but here goes those men who use porn when they have a girlfriend, why don't you think of your girlfriend when masturbating? Surely you find them the most attractive so what's it all about, we need this settling.
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female
reader, HappyPlace +, writes (15 July 2013):
 ChiGirl is so wrong on this - I masturbate without porn as I am sure a lot of women do. So for her to state that "I'm pretty close to absolutely certain, that the women who don't look at porn don't masturbate either". Wrong, wrong, wrong.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2013): well, I use porn often and 95% of the times I'm getting off while watching I'm thinking of my girlfriend. most of the times I look for porn which involves positions and things I.like to do with her and I imagine is her doing it to me ;) I she would let me have a sex video of us I think I would stop watching porn. actually she has let me take some steamy pictures of her and thats what I use to get off, but when I feel the need to see some action and not just pictures then I use the web. I love my girlfriend abd for me she is the hottest girl in the whole world but men use porn as an visual aid to stimulate ourselves. we don't care about the girl, its just stimule. after I'm done, I'm done. I don't think about porn amymore, instead keep thinking about my girlfriend perfect ass and boobs ;)
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (13 July 2013):
 They watch porn because they enjoy it and it's sexy. The same reason women watch porn.
If it is that big of a deal to you, try and find a man that doesn't watch porn. I can promise you that it'll be VERY difficult, with the ease of finding free porn on the internet.
I might suggest that you deal with your low self-esteem instead of trying to change basic human nature and thinking that porn is the problem instead of your own issues with your self-worth.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2013): This isn't just MEN though. I'm a woman, sometimes I'll watch porn, and have fun with myself. I think my boyfriend is incredibly hot, but porn is there because it's there. It's not like I actually want to have sex with any of those people or would rather have sex with them than my boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2013): "For the General Mills employees, why don't you eat cornflakes for breakfast every single day?"
Think about it...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2013): Chigirl, I think maybe your men vs women thing may be a little overly stereotypical, but that's somewhat true. But yea, it's very simple. I think most of the time women think emotionally and men think physically. Thats not always the rule but often correct. Thats why when men cheat, it's just sex (usually). When women cheat, there is usually more of an emotional or underlying factor behind it(again, usually). Anyway, men just want to get out the poison. Porn is a quick way to do it and has absolutely nothing to do with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2013): Men get off on images. They also get off on the concept of watching other people having sex. Arousal comes from all the mechanical and methodical aspects of the act of sex.
Arousal from visualization. Viewing exposed genitalia, and
seeing people in a high state of sexual arousal; produces sexual arousal and desire in the viewer.
That explains it in a technical and scientific way.
It's dirty, and the naughty aspect of it makes it appealing to the sexual appetite of men who like porn. Voyeurism seems to be a human trait science doesn't seem to validate; but it seems inherent in our species as a whole.
Why do women snoop through their male partner's phones and devices? A need to satisfy an urge to catch him up to something sexual. The thrill of discovery without his permission. Spying gives a cheap thrill.
What makes you think men don't fantasize about their girlfriends sexually? Do women fantasize about their male partners when masturbating?
All men who watch porn are not addicted to it. They don't all like the same kind. It's not a perversion; unless the content is so bazaar it's against all laws both moral and legal. Or, they spend most of the day with their member in one hand; and eyes glued to a digital device, or a page in a magazine. It will never stop, in spite of female protest.
Just as snooping is always justified, as far as wives and girlfriends are concerned. (not to exclude gay boyfriends)
Thinking of your girlfriend isn't necessary; because she is readily available and accessible at any time. She is your fantasy girl come true.
The mind seeks variety, and porn is cheating without leaving the comfort and safety of your home. It is an aversion to catching STD's from risky sex with a sleazy whore in a back alley. In porn, women never say no. In porn, no means yes. NOT IN REALITY DUDES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It offers some men gratification without complaints or rejection. It gives them immediate release, the girls/guys don't worry about how fat they are on the videos. You can roll over and fall asleep after a happy ending. There is almost always a happy ending.
As chigirl says, this is a warn-out topic.
It's all about psychological wiring. Men are visual creatures. Males naturally seek multiple partners for mating. That trait was never lost through human evolution.
Modern technology has offered too many options.
Only foolish people try to compare themselves to virtual images, or feel threatened by characters on a DVD. Men do get bored with the same body, face, and feeling. So they resort to porn or masturbation.
Just as some women use sex as a weapon, reward, or bait. It's the nature of the beast. It's not as common and widespread as you may think.
Porn is just a part of modern-male culture. Unfortunately, there is easy access to weak-minded individuals. Men, with an addictive personality, have found porn addiction to add to their propensity toward drug and/or alcohol abuse. It satisfies the same part of the brain; and releases the same endorphins.
If any woman considers herself a victim of a porn-addicted pervert, don't blame society. Don't blame men.
Blame yourself if you refuse to dump him. Blame yourself for not dealing with a low self-esteem. For believing your value to men; is based on your sexual attractiveness.
Since we are speaking so generally and inclusively, allow me to say this.
Don't punish yourself for what goes on inside a man's head. Your choice of a partner is not a reflection on men as a whole. It is your individual choice of men, and/or your lack of knowledge of how to deal with your own choices.
In most cases; this problem can easily be resolved by simply leaving the bastard who offends you. Provided you are level-headed, not over-reacting, and know what you're doing.
Women who have a healthy level of self-esteem, and a strong sense of self; do not tolerate what they consider offensive behavior in men. They set realistic standards, and only allow those who respect them to approach them.
They have the strength to leave them; rather then stick around, and suffer and blame themselves. They chose a better course of action, than becoming cynical and a man-hater. Assuming their lousy taste in men, and repeated bad choices, is an indication that all men are the same.
They know what is typical male behavior, and they know what is a threat and what isn't. They don't aim to control their partner's sexual urges or habits; they aim only to please and be pleased.
If you are in your man's heart, you're also in his fantasies. If you're a nag and a scornful female. Porn is his escape.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2013): I agree with the very first response. Guys who do like their girlfriends or wives do think of them when masturbating. And like the reader said, they look at porn when they're lazy or something. If a guy in a relationship only gets off on porn, most likely he doesn't like his girlfriend that much. He may even have an unhealthy "relationship" with the porn thing. I disagree with Chigirl, that women who don't look at porn don't masturbate. I masturbate and I don't look at porn. I too have like a reel in my head of super hot sexy moments with my boyfriend that I replay in my head when I'm turned on. When I'm single I fantasize about REAL LIFE guys I'd like to be with who are sexy or guys I've hooked up with. Maybe you could try to spice things up in the bedroom and leave him with quite the impression. But all in all you'll find that some guys do reserve most of their sexual fantasies from images of their girlfriends. While other guys will get off to any image but that of the woman they are with. Depends on the guy. Depends on the relationship, I guess.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 July 2013):
 This HAS indeed been asked so many times that it's gotten boring. And the answer is quite simple, really. Just because YOU wouldn't look at porn, or understand why others do, doesn't mean you are right and they are wrong. People are wired differently. I'm pretty close to absolutely certain, that the women who don't look at porn don't masturbate either. So, the question really is: why aren't women masturbating and using porn just as much as men?
And the answer is more certainly this: because we were trained by society to not have a sexuality. We're not supposed to like sex, we're not supposed to get turned on, sex is bad, sex is a sin (we're taught this), and women only have value if they can stay pure and asexual. Hence, women don't masturbate.
And men? Well, they've been taught that they aren't men unless they have sex, and having sex with more women increases manhood. So, they masturbate because they have been taught to show off their sexuality, so have no problems masturbating when the urge arises.
And, if you DON'T understand the difference between masturbation and sex, then that is evidence that you're a woman who doesn't masturbate. It's not the same. It's not like everyone should prefer sex to masturbation. Some do, some don't, and some just want to do the one over the other at that given time. Just like you sometimes prefer to drink apple juice over orange juice occasionally. No harm in that.
As for the porn issue itself, come on. Not only men watch porn. Women who masturbate also use porn. Some women masturbate and don't use porn, but they're in a very tiny minority. But just like them, there are guys who don't use porn, but think of their girlfriend when masturbating. Although, they might occasionally look at it.
And do you still wonder WHY? Because it turns them on, of course. Watching other people having sex, hearing the sounds, seeing the naked skin, well it triggers your brain into thinking you're going to have sex too, so you get aroused. And arousal is necessary to masturbate, or else you might as well sit and rub your foot expecting an orgasm.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2013): For the women who use romantic movies and novels, why don't you think of your boyfriend when vicariously indulging in someone else's romantic life?
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (12 July 2013):
 It's because our brains (male and female) are wired for novelty. It isn't because they are more attractive it's because novelty gives a "high" feeling. This article will explain better:
http://yourbrainonporn.com/doing-what-you-evolved-to-do
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (12 July 2013):
 well i'm a girl in a relationship with another girl. and i'll be the first to admit that i watch porn from time to time if i haven't seen my gf in a while. she does the same. doesn't bother me any and i know it doesn't bother her. it's just something to look at to stimulate you. most of the time, i do think of my gf while i'm watching it. either way, it's just something to look at while getting off. it's better than closing your eyes and imagining. my imaginations isn't that good lol.
it's no offense. as i said, it's just something to stare at while you're getting off. it's not lusting and fantacizing after the woman on the screen. at least not for me. if your guy does that, then i could see being bothered. but for most, i don't believe that's the case. hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (12 July 2013):
Porn is the easiest way to get off. People like to make things as easy as possible.
If I don't have porn available I am capable of thinking of my wife.
"surely you find them the most attractive" Uhhhh, surely. My wife is beautiful but I think you're being a little naive here, no offense meant.
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A
female
reader, theres_always_a_loophole +, writes (12 July 2013):
 My guess is because many of them don't find it that exciting to fantasize about what they already have in real life. But keep in mind just because a man is fantasizing doesn't mean he wants it to come true. I think it's the same with women. They can fantasize about something without wanting it in real life. Also, some men who use porn don't care all that much about the people in the video, it's more about what the people are doing. I'll grant you, some men look up particular porn stars. No need to worry, though, because you can simply choose not to be with men who do that. There are plenty of men who can watch porn without fantasizing about the woman, or even remembering what she looked like after they've closed out of the video. I also don't think whether a man watches porn or not depends on the attractiveness of his partner, regardless of whether or not he has a favorite porn star. Even if he has a particular "type" of woman he tends to watch in porn doesn't necessarily mean anything. That type might be exciting to look at, but too artificial for him to prefer it in real life. For example, many porn stars have had boob jobs, and while some men like the look of them, I don't think they would actually want a partner with fake boobs. They prefer natural beauty in real life. The artificial stuff is fun to look at, nothing more. Sure, there are a few men out there who will say porn stars are the most attractive women, but again, you can choose not to be with them since you have plenty of other options.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (12 July 2013):
 Because we sometimes need to have a fantasy life. It's normal. It also teaches us techniques to use with our partners.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2013): Oh but we do think of our girlfriends. Guys have a sort of 'highlight reel' that we play in our heads. But sometimes we get lazy, and porn is easier. Or it might scratch a kink that you don't care to. But most often I think of her.
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