Like what
he writes?
... Add *mtmj to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *mtmj a private message | | | *mtmj's profile:
A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
|
|
| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
|
Everyone says he wants to break up with me, but he does not do it.
Q. ok well,my boyfriend(ps:astrology belivers welcomed)he is a virgo and im a gemini, he is very demanding and im free spirited. hes passionate im not. we've always worked through it, but lately we've been having some troubles. well in highscho...
A. 8 April 2010: Astrology signs are kinda ridiculous, having said that its interesting when you start noticing similarities between different friends of the same sign. I've found almost all pisces girls are extremely emotional and sensitive, most taurus's I meet ... (read in full...)
Will he still chase after me after I sent him a text saying "Delete my numnber"?
Q. I met a guy I really like, was seeing him intensively for about a month, but then I went away for a month to Thailand. When I returned I saw him once and then he didn't speak to me again for three weeks. I was upset as we were becoming quite close ...
A. 7 April 2010: Why would he? "Delete my number" can't really be misconstrued. Nobody wants to be known as a harasser. ... (read in full...)
I want him to leave her for me
Q. I am having a predicament. I was with "Joe" for 8 years. We met when we were 17 and just broke up a few weeks ago. During the past 8 years I have been very close with his family, in fact I am closer to them than he is. I still hang out with his ...
A. 4 April 2010: If you're looking for justification that what you are doing is right... You won't get it from me. You are what is called a home-wrecker. You want a guy to leave his woman for you. There are plenty of guys out there, why wreck a relationship to ... (read in full...)
To the men: how do you feel when you are in love?
Q. To all the Men out here, how do you know when you are falling in love? What does it feel like?...
A. 26 March 2010: We aren't aliens... I'd like to believe that love feels the same for both men and women. Either way, its best feeling in the world for anybody anywhere :D... (read in full...)
How can I get out of the friend zone, and get her to like me?
Q. i met this girl at a street dance in my town. and i found out we went to the same school. we started hanging out about a week later. its been almost a year now and we hang out almost every day. she is now my best friend. and she says im her best ...
A. 23 March 2010: She's told you that she just sees you as a friend, trust me, move on, date other people. She's not going to just suddenly become attracted to you and you don't want to have an unrequited infatuation when someone else comes along.
Best of luck... (read in full...)
I don't believe that he misses me, should I be mad at him or stop calling him?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a week now and we have been very affectionate, we laugh and get along great. We told each other we like one another and it seems were on the same page. I haven't seen him for a couple days n when he told me he would ...
A. 23 March 2010: Caring guy nailed it in one. Give him some room to breathe, it doesn't mean that he doesn't miss you or isn't keen on you so don't take it personally. If you start getting angry at him for doing things like seeing his mates, especially after only ... (read in full...)
Does he want to kiss me? Why doesn't he kiss me back? How can I understand what he's thinking?
Q. Hi. I'm not quite sure how to do this, or how to say it for that matter. I've recently got a boyfriend. We're similar and yet different. We're both athletes, both love the same kind of music, grew up in slightly similar situations, both have dated ...
A. 21 March 2010: He's shy and maybe a little intimidated. Yeh its a short answer, but you really are over-thinking the issue. Seriously, just go for it when you're alone... not when he's self conscious with his brother there watching. I'd be uncomfortable in that ... (read in full...)
Will allowing my wife to sleep with other men get her through her mid life crisis?
Q. My wife has came to me with the idea that she wants to sleep with other men. She is madly in love with me and our sex life is incredible. She has been chatting online with other men and has lined up her first "dude" for this Friday night. She is ...
A. 17 March 2010: Dude!! Have some self-respect and man up! If you let her do this, she's actually going to respect you LESS. You NEED to take a stand, this is NOT something that she should feel she's entitled to! She is being incredibly selfish, please ... (read in full...)
I want to stay a virgin until marriage but what's the use!
Q. I would really like to stay a virgin until I'm married but it doesn't seem like there are any virgin girls left so whats the point? The whole chastity thing really doesn't work unless both people are in on it. It's all just really irritating 22 ...
A. 13 March 2010: It really depends whether you're doing this for religious reasons or for your own idealistic moral reasons. I wouldn't count on finding a virgin to marry, you could be closing off the perfect partner for you, just because they've had sex and you ... (read in full...)
I can't figure out of I really like him or not!
Q. I'm having trouble deciding on whether or not I truly like this guy or not. But first let me give you some background. There's this super shy guy in a couple of my classes, however recently in the past couple months he has started to talk to me mo...
A. 6 March 2010: Well, you're analyzing his signs to figure out whether he likes you and you're analyzing your signs to figure out whether you like him. That amuses me :)
Well I'd say that the self/peer imposed pressure has certainly made you THINK differen... (read in full...)
I'm scared that I'll lose him completely before we work this out
Q. i split up with my partner when i was 7 months pregnant. a few months later he met someone else, we always got on really well. after nearly 2 years he split up with her and i wanted him back. he stayed up over christmas an we ended up sleeping ...
A. 6 March 2010: Yeh, I agree with C.Grant. This really does sound over for good. Looking on the bright side though, its great that you two still get along well, especially for your child growing up. Better to stay on good terms than to keep whipping a dead horse ... (read in full...)
Why is he blowing hot and cold? Anyone ever experienced this before?
Q. I met a guy in a club a few weeks ago, we had been eyeing each other up all night and eventually got chatting. At the end of the night he walked me to my taxi, asked for my phone number and said he would be in touch the next day. I thought it was ...
A. 5 March 2010: He could have lost his phone, was after sex but figured it was taking too long or was too much trouble, found someone else, had honorable intentions but realized you two weren't a good match or didn't have good chemistry... who knows. But I highly ... (read in full...)
Help!!! How can I move on with my life???
Q. So I have recently gone through a very traumatic breakup. I was with this guy for 2 years. We planned on getting married and had our kids names picked out. We were so much in love or so I thought. He left me on January 15th because he liked another ...
A. 5 March 2010: First real love is always the most painful unfortunately, but you really need to cut contact with him completely for at least 6 months or however long it takes to get you back on your feet. Tell friends to never talk about him or what he may or may ... (read in full...)
Help!!! I don't know what to do about him any more... any ideas?
Q. We met about 2 years ago i was 17 and he was 25, we dated 4 over a year, we loved each other a lot, we broke up about 6 months ago he said he wasnt happy with me but we was still hanging out and having sex, he wanted 2 be friends even though i didnt ...
A. 5 March 2010: He's messing with your head. Don't let him drag you along for a pointless ride. Lose complete contact with him. You deserve and will find someone better I guarantee.
Best of luck :)... (read in full...)
I would like to care a lot less about the way I look
Q. I would like to care a lot less about the way I look. I feel badly self conscious if I go out anywhere thinking I look less than great. I don't judge other people by how they look but I always feel judged by how I look. Whenever I see a man on the ...
A. 16 February 2010: Yeh, I agree with the previous poster. There are tons of books that can help you, download a few ebooks or something. You need the repetition and reasoning of a good long book to change your way of thinking. Something that a few paragraphs that ... (read in full...)
Why do some Asians find it impossible to date Hispanic men?
Q. A while ago I was in love with a chinese girl I knew for over 2 years. We were best friends and loved doing everything together. I always kept it open that one day we should try dating and she always found ways to dodge the topic. But whenever we ...
A. 16 February 2010: Don't blame society because ONE woman wasnt attracted to you. This stereotype that asian women want tall white men is complete nonsense. Everybody has their own personal type/preference as to what look they find attractive and sometimes it can be ... (read in full...)
Why have I not got a promise ring???
Q. hey everyone , ive posted quite a few relationship questions on here my lastest one has nothing to do with what im about to ask im just looking for a male perspective on my situation. okay so me and my boyfirend have a group of 2 other couples ...
A. 16 February 2010: What on earth is a promise ring? It sounds tacky... why do you want one so bad?... (read in full...)
In shock and scared for my future...
Q. I don't know where to turn to. I want to ask silly questions like "how do I make the pain stop?", but I know there is no easy answer because I've felt this once before. My problem, other than being dumped out of the blue by a girl I loved, is...
A. 15 February 2010: Dude, just open up a new word document, have a few beers if you have to and just write. Write everything down, even if it makes you feel like a crazy person, who cares? nobodys going to read it. Then either throw it out or re-read it when you ... (read in full...)
I was wondering why a guy would leave someone like me for someone like this?
Q. Guys, I need your opinion here. I am (what people say is) an attractive, tall slim brunette. I have only been with the one guy in my life and I put everything into our relationship. I was open, honest, trusting, always cheerful and fun to be ar...
A. 14 February 2010: Why would Hugh Grant fool around with the prostitute Devine Brown when he had the incredible Elizabeth Hurley? Because he could and thought he would get away with it? For a cheap thrill, the danger element, boredom, variety? Who knows? maybe when ... (read in full...)
I still love him despite the hurt
Q. [Moderator's Note: Original Post contained vast amounts of song lyrics and bible passages, these have been deleted in order to shorten the post and highlight the actual question] Hey so I have been lost for a while now. I was dating someone who i wa...
A. 14 February 2010: I'll be honest, I hate trying to reply to these questions but I feel compelled to because it just oozes pain. Nobody can really help you with this question because nobody can judge this relationship based off a few words on a screen. Not to ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend becoming so controlling?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating for about 9 months now. Hes 20, and i'm 18. We've been through so much and its been really difficult but we've made through it. Hes always been the jealous type, but recently its been starting to get out of ...
A. 14 February 2010: Short simple answer... Yes! These problems will continue to grow. If you cant fix the problems you have now and move on then when new problems come along (and they will), they'll just stack up. Then there'll be more ammunition that will be used in ... (read in full...)
Do any other girls out there withold sex from their partners when they have done something wrong?
Q. Please Help .... I have a problem . When my boyfriend does something wrong , like out late with his mates , or comes home intoxicated , I without Sex for a period of time . I tell him the set penalty time and he signs a form ..eg : 1 week , 1 ...
A. 14 February 2010: Wow, thats just the sickest thing I've ever heard. I hope your boyfriend grows a spine and gets out of this. Get help.... (read in full...)
Boil the kettle before you read... I Need a lot of help!
Q. Like the title suggests boil the kettle before you read this as it is going to be a very long story asking for advice. About 3 years ago, I joined the army straight out of school and had met a girl had an ok relationship but to be fair i was quite...
A. 11 February 2010: Honestly dude, I think you need to see a counsellor or a psychiatrist, they may really be able to help you with these destructive behaviours that you seem to have developed over the years. I cant really see this relationship working... ever. ... (read in full...)
I am 13 and I am conteplating giving my boyfriend my virginity for valentines day
Q. ok. so me and my bf have been together for like EVER. we've been together so long that i lost count of the months. befor i lost count it was like 18 months. anyway i love him so much and i want to please him for v-day(if u know wat i mean) but im ...
A. 11 February 2010: You're 13 for flip sake, whats the rush? The fact that you're asking on here if you should suggests to me that you have doubts. Is this something that you really want to do or is it something you want to do to make your boyfriend happy so that ... (read in full...)
She treated me like crap!! Why do I miss her still?
Q. Hey everyone..i really need ur help! My relationship with my girlfriend(more like a fiance to me) for 2 + years now(we both were 17 when we started off)..ended 6 weeks back!!this is why! she was my first girlfriend and i wanted her to be my last!im...
A. 8 February 2010: She may stay in your head for a fair while, but dont whatever you do contact her. Have no contact with her for atleast 3 months. You're lonely and you're idealising her, you seem to love being affectionate and giving gifts. You need to be a man ... (read in full...)
Why is this guy acting so weird?
Q. Okay, why is this guy acting so weird? Whenever I'm around this particular boy, he kind of avoids me. I never did anything to him! I'm the type of girl who says Hi to everyone.. and if I see you, I will say hi. The first time I spoke to him was...
A. 12 November 2009: You wouldn't write this if you didnt think that he fancied you... I agree with CaringGuy.... (read in full...)
Please, help? I love him but its complicated. I just don't know what to do!
Q. Hi there, So, I dated a guy almost year ago after he moved here to start school. I found out after we had been together for a year that he still had a girlfriend back home. We broke up, but remained friends. It has been 11 months, and we ar...
A. 11 November 2009: Yep, sounds like the classic "I'll leave my wife/girlfriend for you as soon as the time is right" situation, tho that time only comes when he gets dumped and wants someone to fall back onto. Dump this fool. If he can lie to you for a year, how can ... (read in full...)
Is he truly not ready, or just not into me?
Q. Hi there, I met this man who is 30 and has just come out of a 7 year relationship. He bought a house and lived with his ex. She has moved out but they are now going through settlement. He says it is completely over and there is nothing between ...
A. 28 October 2009: 7 years is a LONG time to be in a relationship, especially being quite young when he went into it, (23 yeh?). I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and give him some time aye. You havent said how long you've known been close to him though so its ... (read in full...)
Why is he ignoring me?
Q. This is ridiculous but I've been ocassionally sending txts to my ex - wishing him well.Last time we spoke we had a huge arguement and he said he was going M.I.A. for awhile. (he went from adoring/infatuation w/ me to in a flip of a switch,want...
A. 23 October 2009: Yeh... the silent treatment, thats a classic move, I'm not going to say I'm not guilty of it, because it works. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. However, there could be a chance that he doesnt want you to see him in a vulnerable state. ... (read in full...)
Should I go ahead and ask her to be my girlfriend even though she doesn't want a boyfriend?
Q. so i have been seeing this girl for about a month now. i feel we are really well together. i couldn't be any happier and i want her to be my girlfriend. but she just got out of a relationship where she had been cheated on and has told me that she ...
A. 20 October 2009: Yeh dude, give it time. Dont pressure her... I wouldnt even bring the topic up to be honest. Just have fun with her and be really easy going, there's no rush. Do this and in comparison to her last boyfriend I'd expect her to be ready for a ... (read in full...)
Will a DWI prevent me from having a girlfriend?
Q. I've got a bit of a problem. Over the weekend I was arrested for a DWI and had my car impounded, and I probably won't be driving for about a year. I am single and really worried that this is going to prevent me from finding a girlfriend. There are a ...
A. 19 October 2009: Fact of the matter is that you made one mistake. One mistake is not a representation of your personality whatsoever. It doesnt make you a scum bag... provided you learn from it. Its a harsh punishment for a single mistake, but if it wasnt harsh ... (read in full...)
Is she cheating or am I just paranoid?
Q. dear cupid, earlier this year i was involved in a very nasty break up that resulted in me being admitted to hospital after an attempted overdose, because of this the relationship ended, during my time in hospital i became close to a girl who had ...
A. 14 October 2009: Dude... stop being so freaking paranoid!!! Keep it up and you will lose her, thats a promise. Stop with the snooping and the interogation questions, because not only are you breaking the trust in the relationship, but you're making it harder and ... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend smoking again?
Q. hey once again my girl friend quit smoking about 6 months back when we started dating because i convinced her to and i explaind that its a dirty habit and anything any one could think bad about smoking i told her but now its been half a year and im ...
A. 23 September 2009: Dude... its a cigarette, not the end of the world. She's a grown up, she can make her own life decisions. She obviously wouldnt tell you if she smoked because clearly you get really worked up about it so honestly I cant blame her if she lied. She ... (read in full...)
Agony Aunts: What do you think is going on?
Q. Thanks for your help in advance. There's a girl I like, whom I think likes me. This is why I have a question. It all starts six months ago. First, I was havings others give her notes. She kept the first, but threw away the rest, as she got sick ...
A. 23 September 2009: lol, i find it amusing that you went from sending her notes because you were afraid... to then shouting that you love her in the halls. Either way dude, I hate to say it, but I dont think anything is happening. Just smiling and saying hello doesnt ... (read in full...)
Does this sound like depression or a medical issue?
Q. This isn't a relationship question, but here goes. Lately I have been feeling feelings of depression, my mind goes blank, and it's difficult for me to think about certain things, as in my mind has been working slower lately, I zone out sometimes, ...
A. 23 September 2009: Go to a doctor... seriously. I was diagnosed with ADD and depression at age 25 and I felt like you just described. Just because ADD is a condition you have since birth doesnt mean that you havent got it, it just means you've developed systems to ... (read in full...)
Should she tell, will police notify people at work anyway?
Q. Help, my daughter has was caught using work mobile whilst driving. Police issued immediate fine and points to licence. She is traumatised as her work mobile phone policy states that moibile phones should not be used whilst driving, and breach o...
A. 23 September 2009: The police wont notify her work. Disciplinary action is just in the contract to cover the companies ass from a legal standpoint. However if the contract said "will result in immediate dismissal", then it would mean she'd lose her job. "Disciplin... (read in full...)
I love him, how do I prove and show to him that I am terribly sorry?
Q. Me and my ex boyfriend have been off and on for about a year now. we just start "talking" again. Pretty much dating, and i mess everything up and flirt with one of his bestfriends. Which is one of my ex's too. I really do love this guy..and he lo...
A. 23 September 2009: You flirted with a guy and he's gone all emo cos of it? Basically the issue is that he doesnt trust you, so to prove that you love him you're just going to have to put in the time and make him feel like he's secure and loved. Theres no one-shot, ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my abusive ex boyfriend?
Q. I cannot get over my ex and its been more than a year. The last time I ever saw him him beat me including a punch in the face. I was with him for 3 years and so deeply in love. I feel like such a pathetic loser for loving someone that treated me ...
A. 23 September 2009: From the last reply...
"Men like him dont know what happiness is they just love hurting people, its like they enjoy it, its sick. This is what he planned and wanted is for you to be hurt and not able to go out with anyone else because hes such a j... (read in full...)
My friend is living a different life and I am concerned about her family!
Q. Well, this post is about my friend/co worker. I have been very close to her and share most of the fun she is into. She is younger than me and is very beautiful, most men who see her would always second glance at her. She is almost perfect. And life ...
A. 23 September 2009: You cant do a damn thing. I'm 99% sure if you try talking to her about it she'll either get angry and defensive or just shrug it off and not take it seriously. She is totally self-absorbed and I feel sorry for her family. It sounds totally wrong ... (read in full...)
The man I love wont leave his wife for me and I feel so lonely!
Q. The man I'm in love with never told me that he would leave his wife.He pays all my bills,rent and still gives me extra money but,I'm just so lonely.He doesn't spend time with me like he use to in the beginning.He has keys to my house so he comes ...
A. 23 September 2009: *sigh* If he's willing to be so deceptive, cheat, lie etc. etc. on his wife, do you honestly think he wouldnt do the same if he left his wife and married you? The man has no integrity and clearly no moral conscience. For flip sake, grow a backbone ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend tells me that I'm ugly and I look anorexic with no boobs!
Q. my boyfriend tells me that im ugly have no boobs and that im starting to look like im anorexic. i have already tried splitting up with him that lasted about 6 months and now i been with him over 2 years all together and i cant get over him. Please ...
A. 23 September 2009: If you stay with him and he keeps critisizing you, (which he will), your self esteem is going to get lower and lower to the point where you'll never leave him because you'll ACTUALLY start to BELIEVE what he says and start thinking that you're ... (read in full...)
| *mtmj's friends
These are mutual friends, so *mtmj has
added them and they have added *mtmj!
|
