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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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How do I return the blow job favor to my girlfriend?
Q. My girlfriend recently decided after 5 months of dating that she wanted to go a step farther and give me a blow job. I tried to lick her and she said it was more of a turn off than feeling good. What can I do to repay her physically? ...
A. 11 August 2010: Just focus on finding the clitoris first my good man... once you can find it every time you explore down there, then you can worry about what to do with it. ... (read in full...)
An ex with benefits
Q. Me and my ex- boyfriend broke up about 3 months ago and right afterwards he got a new girlfriend, that only lasted 2 weeks and now he has another girlfriend and this has been about a month now, but the thing is he wants to be "friends" but everytime ...
A. 11 August 2010: "he tells me that it doesn't mean anything its just sex. do you think that this is true."
Yes, yes, one thousand times yes... The absolute worst thing you can do is have sex with him because you are holding onto some false hope that it means mo... (read in full...)
Is this considered incest?
Q. [Mod Note - OP's own title] I recently visited my cousin during my vacation in LA. She's my first cousin and she's a very attractive girl. We're both also 29 years old. While we were hanging out I asked her about the night clubs in LA. She said...
A. 11 August 2010: I really need to visit LA one of these days...... (read in full...)
Do guys mention girls they like a lot?
Q. Do you think if a guy mentions a girl a lot, he likes her? I know in high school this is the case, but do you think that this could be true even when we're older? I am wondering because the guy I am dating right now mentions this one friend, wh...
A. 11 August 2010: "on several occasions he'll mention how she's very attractive but how he is not into her"
Could he be saying this intentionally to make you jealous? It seems like a bonehead thing to say this just once, but to say it several times seems oddly in... (read in full...)
I love her and she loves me but she's dating my friend!
Q. Sooo Ive known this girl for 11 years now and ive always had a thing for her. Time went by and eventually she started dating my best friend. he treats her like crap and all i can do is watch. He recently cheated and i told her what happened. i ...
A. 11 August 2010: If she loved you in the way that you love her then she wouldn't be with him. If you meddle in this relationship, especially when you have an ulterior motive then you're going to lose a friend... and not necessarily gain a lover...
If it were me, ... (read in full...)
How many guys will you have to sleep with to be considered a whore?
Q. How many guys will you have to sleep with to be considered a whore? is three that many when your only 16?...
A. 11 August 2010: There's no set number... ... (read in full...)
Scared of sex but wanting a child, can I become pregnant by injecting my husband's semen?
Q. I am scared of proper sex and in my house everyone want baby, So my husband fill his sperm in a dropper and put it in my vagina..........is it possible that in this way i can become pregnant?...
A. 11 August 2010: Yes it's possible... boring... but possible.... (read in full...)
5 years of dating and he still won't divorce
Q. Been dating this great guy on and off for five years. He had been separated for six months when we met and I asked him if he left his ex and son pre-maturely. He was very depressed and always seemed like he was somewhere else when we were together. ...
A. 11 August 2010: If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten... Seriously, after 5 years of not getting a divorce, why do you think he'll suddenly get a sense or urgency to do it this year... or the next...? Can you honestly see him ... (read in full...)
Is my baby's father my husband or my boyfriend?
Q. I am married but I had sex with my boyfriend on march 27,2010 and on april 26,2010 i found out i was 5 weeks pregnant is my baby for my boyfriend? I didnt have sex with my husband until the april 30,2010. Can you please help me....
A. 11 August 2010: Could be either... I wonder if there's a lesson to be learned here? ... (read in full...)
User's title How do I ask for a third?
Q. [Mod Note = OP's own title] I need a little help. My Girlfriend and I recently decided to try and have a threesome. We both agreed that one of my high school friends (female) should be the third party. My question is, how do I go about asking m...
A. 11 August 2010: Threesomes are way more trouble than they're worth IMO and can frankly ruin relationships, but booze and a movie at home on the couch is a good start. That way if you suggest a threesome and your partner goes "yeh that'd be fun!!" then its easy for ... (read in full...)
How can I stop feeling so sad all the time?
Q. Ahh i am really down at the moment. have you ever felt really low? how did it get better? I hate my job, but i just started it recently, so i feel i will let the team down if i quit now. And that won't look good on my cv either. I have no boyfr...
A. 11 August 2010: Take up martial arts, cycling or any other activity where you'll meet new people as soon as you can! Sounds like you really need to find some new friends.
Best of luck :)... (read in full...)
I have been in love with this woman for over 30 years but she wont see me until I am divorced!
Q. Hi I am married with grown kids they are from 26 to 30 and I am still in love with my first love for over 30 years, and i contact her a few time but she would see me but not until I am divorced what do I do I going crazy! Help Im at my end...
A. 11 August 2010: She won't "see you" as in she won't date you or have an affair? Or "see you" as in she won't casually meet as friends for a catchup? If you've been in love with her for 30 years and lying to your wife this whole time... why is divorce such a bad ... (read in full...)
Why are guy scared to just say they like you?
Q. I'm wondering why guys never approach me. Instead they get their friends to drop hints. For example a guy had his friends yell out to me "[His name] likes you." And another guy today had his friends yell out "Hey [His name] wants to say hello to you ...
A. 11 August 2010: Because its safer than risking flat out rejection. ... (read in full...)
In love with childhood friend and don't think I can ever tell him. What should I do?
Q. Dear cupid, i don't know what to do, i've been in love with this boy all my life since i was a young child and i know that is hard to believe because a lot of people think you can't be in love until your older, not able to experience the f...
A. 11 August 2010: There's really no easy answer to this question. You don't want to lose him as a best friend but you're positive that he doesn't want anything more... You sound like you're really torturing yourself simply by being his friend. Is there no way that ... (read in full...)
What steps should I take to find out if my boyfriend had sex with his ex?
Q. how can i find out if my boyfriend had sex with his ex? One saturday me and him argued about some girls on his friends list online, he got mad and decided to ignore me all night. Three days later his ex arrives just to tell me that she spend the ...
A. 11 August 2010: I'd be inclined to believe his ex... it sounds like too much of a coincidence that you guys have a big fight and then she shows up out of the blue. If she made this all up to get him back then why wouldn't she have tried this stunt sooner? ... (read in full...)
Do people truely ever get over their first love?
Q. So I'm just wondering about whether people have really gotten over their "first loves." I am 19 now and in university and am generally quite happy. However, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years, nearly a year ago and even though I have ma...
A. 11 August 2010: You'll probably never forget them, but you will get over your first love... eventually. Problem with first love is that many people make all these unrealistic plans for the future with them and then get crushed when they don't pan out.
Anoth... (read in full...)
When I open myself to girls, they seem to lose interest. Why is that?
Q. Hey guys and gals, I have one question; Why do women lose interest when you really open up. Im having this experience very often lately. At first im just joking around with girls, teasing them a bit and so forth, but when thing start movi...
A. 11 August 2010: Only open up gradually in small pieces... not all at once. If you are joking around and teasing a girl and then suddenly switch and turn all soppy... you can't be that surprised can you? That's pretty much a 180 degree flip in how you treat her... ... (read in full...)
We're teenagers and we really want to have a baby!
Q. Hi :) My boyfriend and I realllyyyyy want a baby!! We've been trying for about 2 months and it doesn't seem to work. Everyone says I'm too young for a baby, but I know this is what we want. I love my boyfriend to death, and we want a baby and ...
A. 10 August 2010: yeh... wait til you're older...... (read in full...)
How do I know if I try to make new friends, they won't hurt and betray me like my old ones?
Q. my confidence is rock bottom since i found out one of my best mates tried it on with my fiance while i was around 5months pregnant! i cant trust anyone anymore and have lost all my friends! i was in college in 2009, i fell pregnant in apri...
A. 9 August 2010: ... you don't I'm afraid... but it doesn't mean you shouldn't try to make new friends now should it...... (read in full...)
Moving in with my boyfriend could be a bad idea if his brother moves in too?
Q. I have been with my current significant other for 3 years and we are planning to move in together. At first, it was very exciting searching for apartments and actually viewing them! We actually started saving money months ahead and made a list of ...
A. 9 August 2010: Well that just sucks... the best thing about moving in with your partner for the first time is being able to walk around naked and not give a damn...
His brother is 21 years old... not 16... This is ridiculous unless you actually get along wi... (read in full...)
I've never felt an attraction like this before but the problem is she's a lesbian!
Q. Its kind of a weird situation , once i saw this girl in school , first time i saw her something inside me moved , my heart just started to beat weird i feel like pressure inside me i never felt before , i am attracted to her like i've never been to ...
A. 9 August 2010: "I just like her presence , how she is showing up and her energy she does give out , i wouldn't change anything on her , she's just perfect."
Yet for there to be any chance of you two getting together you'd have to change her... drastica... (read in full...)
Why can't I have my happiness...?
Q. Its weird that I give advice and Im a love sick lonley girl. Basicly I only pull guys if they're drunk so obviously they remember the next morning that Im not the best dish on the tabe.. They never call me back and i see my pretty mates pull eas...
A. 9 August 2010: If you can't love yourself, how can anybody else be expected to fall in love with you?
What the other aunts said... If you want to turn things around, you need to focus on yourself. Put everything else out of your mind and just do things that YOU... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my old teacher, what should I do?
Q. hey guys, I'm 16 and I'm helplessly in love with my old sports teacher. yes, old, as in he was my primary school teacher, I'm in year ten now, and it's been around 3 years since I started loving him. He's about 10 years older than i am and he is ...
A. 9 August 2010: Good-luck finding anyone who wants to help you with this. The teacher-student relationship is almost as taboo as it gets. You aren't even 18 yet...... (read in full...)
Can I win back her heart before it is too late?
Q. I've posted before about my divorce from my partner of 20 years. It involved an affair on my part that is now over. However, I'm having severe problems that I am trying to work through and could use some advice. I know how the Aunts feel about ...
A. 9 August 2010: I don't like giving advice to married couples when I can help it. At my age I can somewhat comprehend what its like to be in a long term relationship, but to be married to somebody for 20 years is for me, still about as far off in the distance as ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend finds it really easy to lie to my face! Should I be worried?
Q. okay so basically, my boyfriend worries me. i don't know if he has mental health problems, as i wouldn't want to put a massive label on him, i'm not naive. he has no parents as he lost his mum due to drink 3 years ago, he's been dealing with an ...
A. 9 August 2010: You kinda have to ask yourself why he feels the need to lie in the first place?? Has he had a really controlling girlfriend before you? Are you the type to interrogate or "blast" him for indiscretions? Some other reason??
Try to find out what... (read in full...)
I want my husband back, not this overweight unhealthy man!
Q. i feel very lost.. my husband has always been heavy.. he is 6 ft 2 and 478. i am 5 ft 9 and 135. sometimes i think i know too much being a nurse as i watch his weight go up and our marriage go down. yes i love him. i have changed our home eating to ...
A. 9 August 2010: I second dirtball... He's a lucky man to have somebody who cares so much, instead of just leaving, though I hope that isn't what is enabling him to delay taking back his life. He needs to know that you won't be around if he doesn't start respecting ... (read in full...)
I am in love with my brother!
Q. Me and my brother are in love with each other. He is not that related to me but from the same kindred. The problem is that we can't tell each other how we feel and its killing me inside and even if we should do, we can't date cos he is my brother. ...
A. 9 August 2010: At such a young age have you not thought that maybe you should at least go out and try meeting some of the billions of people in the world before deciding that you love your brother?? ... (read in full...)
Son is addicted to drugs; what can I do?
Q. How can I help my drug-addict son? He is addicted to cocaine, and I tried everything,but nothing worked. I'm confused, some people says stop doing anything ,because you ''slowing the process'' some says leave the door open,because when there is ...
A. 9 August 2010: He has to make the decision to quit himself. You say you've tried everything... what exactly have you tried?
All I know is that the company he keeps is what will always keep dragging him back into this lifestyle until he has the self-con... (read in full...)
Guy who used to stare at me now seeing another girl. Am confused and need to understand why?
Q. I know this is probably a very asked question but i need to know what did it mean. i went to school with this guy for a year and all he did was stare at me but never talked to me. he was polite to say hi and that which was good but was there ...
A. 9 August 2010: ... He liked you, but he got no indication from you that you were interested. ... (read in full...)
Seeing a younger man but worried by the age difference
Q. Hi all, I’m hoping for some sensible insight on this situation. I’m a 33 year old gay man, very quiet and academic most of the time, though I do sometimes enjoy the odd party. It was at a social get-together that I met another man, and we b...
A. 9 August 2010: The fact that you're even worried about the age difference is enough to convince me that you're not a creepy guy- others may not think this way but who really cares?
He's 20, not an 18 year old straight out of school... or younger. I say go for i... (read in full...)
Hair
Q. This is for all you guys out there what do you like a womans hair long or short? Witch is more of a turn on? Me personally I like my hair long. :) what do you guys think? Thanks for reading ~Lucy...
A. 6 August 2010: Long hair.... (read in full...)
Pregnant from blow jobs?
Q. I'm wondering if you can get pregnante through blow jobs exetra.Is that possible ???...
A. 6 August 2010: Priceless... (read in full...)
Should I accept my girlfriend's interest in public fetish and bondage?
Q. My girlfriend is very sexually experienced and I'm not. We're both almost 40. We have been together for about six months now, and we have been talking about moving in together in another five months. About a month into the relationship, sh...
A. 6 August 2010: You should not HAVE to accept this behavior... You also should not have to force yourself to try to like something that you clearly don't (and won't) like just for her. There's a real lack of respect here and if you let her justify this behavior ... (read in full...)
Cheating prior to marriage...
Q. Is someone who is vowing to keep the fact that he cheated on his fiancee before they got engaged a secret, actually ready for marriage? I know this guy who cheated on his fiancee less than a year before getting engaged. They've been together for ...
A. 6 August 2010: He doesn't sound ready for marriage, no... You kind of have to worry about anybody who feels that they can keep a secret that big from the person they intend to spend the rest of their life with. Have you asked him "why" he's getting married? Odd ... (read in full...)
How do I behave when I see my ex who hurt me?
Q. "OP Own Title" Hello all, My boyfriend has gone back to his ex, Im devastated, I truly believed him when he told me he loved me. We were together for 5 months. He hasn't even had to balls to tell me. Its been 6 weeks now and I haven't contacted ...
A. 6 August 2010: Don't try to do the whole "acting like I'm having fun when really I'm not" thing unless you're a damn good actor. Its great in theory but its often so damn transparent that it actually makes you look more pathetic if he knows you aren't having fun. ... (read in full...)
I experimented with another boy should I tell my girlfriend?
Q. hi. I have had a girlfriend for a year now, and I absolutely love her. I screwed up when I was in seventh grade and I experimented with another boy. It was the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life. Its been bugging me she doesn't know. Sh...
A. 6 August 2010: One of the great things about being in a loving, trusting relationship is being able to talk about things that you haven't told anybody. She doesn't NEED to know this, so don't tell her simply because you feel guilty that she should know... Tell ... (read in full...)
Do u think my best guy friend might be falling for me???
Q. OP's own title. Do u think my best guy friend might be falling for me??? I've been in love with him for a while now and I want him to be mine forever. We have a odd relationship, like I can tell him anything. Things i have never shared with anyo...
A. 6 August 2010: Well there's no real way we can know to be honest... why don't you try talkin' to him?
When you say that you do everything but sex, do you make out or anything physical like that? Also has there been any major changes recently in how he treats y... (read in full...)
Lies about her past........
Q. me and my girlfriend were talking about her past early in our relationship and she said she had anly slept with 2 other people only 7 times and only had oral once... i read her diary and it said she had slept with 3 guys and one guy was 7 times and ...
A. 5 August 2010: Once upon a time I could probably sympathize with you, but this is a diary that she wrote many years ago... what you see as lying have you considered could simply be her not keeping track of/remembering/caring about every single sexual encounter ... (read in full...)
Curiosity about men's sexual organs
Q. Hello! I have a few questions about men [physically]. I know men have erections when they see a pretty woman. But I have a few questions that I want clarified and confirmed. 1.] What is the longest penis size ever documented? 2.] Men usually talk...
A. 5 August 2010: I freakin' LOVE this question! :) Ain't nothin' wrong with a bit of pre-emptive research. Good on ya... (read in full...)
Philosophical questions about sex and disabilities
Q. This question may seem long and convoluted but there is an underlying unity I can absolutely assure you if you just take the time to read between the lines and try to see how things might look from my perspective. I hope you can see when a disag...
A. 4 August 2010: Ouch... my brain.
I find this all very interesting, but I'm a little tangled on what the main question is to be honest. You've given a lot of information, but if you reply to this post and condense your question/s into single sentences you may ... (read in full...)
How do I walk away for good?
Q. Here is the one thing that keeps me up at night! I would love a man's opion on this. Why would a man who says he loves you and cares for you be so up and down? Did he even really love me? We broke our vows with each other he said he had never don...
A. 4 August 2010: How long were you married?
Also when you say "We broke our vows with each other" does that mean you both had affairs or just him?... (read in full...)
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