A
male
age
30-35,
*angarch
writes:Hey everyone..i really need ur help!My relationship with my girlfriend(more like a fiance to me) for 2 + years now(we both were 17 when we started off)..ended 6 weeks back!!this is why!she was my first girlfriend and i wanted her to be my last!im not like others who could break up and just move on..im very different!!when we both started off..she was the reli sweet!!we both were so happy..but as days went by she became a bit rude..i never told her anything!!5 months into the relationship she became more rude and started treating me like $hit!!she had also cheated on me before but i loved her so much that i forgave her!!i wud walk for 8 kms x 2 just to c her peep thru the window(Ive done that almost some 20 times)whenever i was broke..but she dint think it was a big a deal!!i wud make a card every month for all these 2 years to celebrate our love..i wud always be there for her no matter what!!her dad is very abusive and so i wud comfort her..but when i wud try to comfort her she wud yell at me..call me bad stuff just to remove her anger..but i was too much in love to even bother being treated that way!!9 months into the relationship she was still the same..so i told her with a lot of courage for her to not treat me like that..she promised that she wud change..but neva did!!she just became more and more dominant and arrogant!!she wud blame me for no mistake of mine..i just wudn't revolt!!When i had an infection on my head..which was severe..she didn't even bother coming and checking me..instead when i asked her to come see me bcuz i wanted to be with her she told me she wudn't come if it was contagious!!:(i have saved every little thing which belongs to her..even the choc wrappers which she wud throw!!her mum is a very busy person..so to help her mum i wud go with her to her conferences.buy grocery for her,fix her comp,do her presentations!!and my girlfriend didn't even for once tell thanks!!i asked her why she didn't and she said"thats ur duty"!!i mean..she just din't care about what i did!!she wud say stuff like im so lucky..there can be no guy like u..my friends will steal u if they knew u were like this...but she wud never act like as though she was lucky to have me!!I had saved money for about a year for her b'day!I got her a silver chain with a heart pendant which had a pearl in it and while giving it o her i told her that it would be my heart she would be wearing on her neck!!so anyways..ive told her a lot of times to treat me well..but every time its the same old story!and in the past few weeks we had been fighting a lot..i mean a lot!!and its mainly cuz she's arrogant..we've always fought but it got out of hand..so i told her that i wasn't happy with her ..but she dint change at all!!a month back we had the biggest fight eva..and we stopped talking!!even tho it wasn't my fault i walked up2 her her place again and apologized to fix things btw us..but she told me to go away and started blaming me for everything!!so i finally told her that i was breaking up with her..and its was kind of a relief to me!!to make this simple i was in an emotionally abusive relationship for the past 2 years!!For the first week i cried..but then i started seeing how much better my life was without her!and for the past 4 weeks i've been successful in not thinking about her that much!But now..i don't know why..i can't seem to get her out of my head!Every single moment i spent with her was VERY precious to me..i don't know if she felt the same way..but every time i kissed her..i would get goosebumps!For some reason i miss holding her hand..i miss how i could tell her anything i wanted(not that she would be interested to listen)but still i had someone whom i could tell anything and be so close to!i miss making out with her!!I MEAN SHE WAS RITE IN HERE IN MY ARMS!!Im going mad guys..Y DO I MISS HER?!!After the way she treated me..i shudn't feel this way!But i loved her her sooooooooo much...there are just no words how much i did!!Y do i miss her??What im i supposed to do everyone?plz help me..plz!!
View related questions:
cheated on me, emotionally abusive, fiance, money, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DanceGavin  +, writes (20 January 2011):
You'll get over her eventually. It just takes time. Yeah 2 years is no joke, man. First off, break all communications with her. Erase her cell no., don't call her, dont visit her facebook, myspace etc. I know it's hard, I felt the same way too. But just think about how bad she treated you. Instead of missing her, try to hate her. I don't mean like loathe her or something. She doesn't deserve to be missed. It's her lost, not yours. You'll get over her, man. Trust me.
A
male
reader, Vickidude +, writes (8 February 2010):
 First of all get some self respect. No one deserves to be treated like that , but whoever does definitely has some self esteem issues . I could not even tolerate 1 % of what you are going through , she is treating you like a doormat , and now it is very difficult to bring everything to normal. She has emotionally traumatized you , because you gave her all the power in your relationship (which is meant to be possessed by the male) , and now she is taking you for granted. Things cant change in a day (you cant) , if you go ahead with this relationship , you are definitely calling for even more emotional atyachar. Call it quits , take a break , rejuvenate yourself , fix your esteem issues , reacquire your alpha qualities and then move ahead to find the correct girl for you. Its gonna be really hard , but you can do it .
...............................
A
female
reader, nokutenda  +, writes (8 February 2010):
you miss her because you still love her but give it time, two years with someone is no joke, it will take time to stop loving her. it hurts l know. to make it easier don't contact her no matter what, start dating and going out , have fun- hang out with friends and know that out there there is someone who is going to tret you right and love you like you never be loved. this phase will pass-nothing last forever
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (8 February 2010):
 She may stay in your head for a fair while, but dont whatever you do contact her. Have no contact with her for atleast 3 months. You're lonely and you're idealising her, you seem to love being affectionate and giving gifts. You need to be a man and grow a spine, nobody should be treated the way you say she treated you. You're a kind hearted soul, there is a person out there who will LOVE and APPRECIATE the things you have to offer. But if you keep putting this girl on a pedestal, (thinking she's flawless, perfect when she really isnt), then you're only hurting yourself. Dont go back to this girl, nothing good will happen, she wont change because she knows how forgiving you are. Focus on yourself, hang out with friends more, meet new people, get a pet, just dont give her another thought because she wasnt right for you and she never will be.
All the best bro.
...............................
|
