A
female
age
30-35,
*ostinlove101
writes:[Moderator's Note: Original Post contained vast amounts of song lyrics and bible passages, these have been deleted in order to shorten the post and highlight the actual question]Hey so I have been lost for a while now. I was dating someone who i was madly in love with. I gave him my all. When we first starting dating everything was perfect but after a couple of months things changed. He started acting differently. Not treating me right and acting interested in other people. I always tried to be open with him but he continued to push me away. It wasn't all terrible, but the little things and some bigger really started to add up. We took a break but was pretty much still together. Shorty after, I found out I was pregnant and then later miscarried. He wasn't there for me though it all. When i was pregnant he said some horrible things; when i miscarried he was out of state and would barley talk to me. When he got back i told him i couldn't handle it anymore. He said he was sorry, loved me, and so on. I told him i needed time to be sure i could still be with him. We still spent time together. But when i was finally ready to tell him i loved him and wanted nothing more than to be with him, i seen sexual txts and pictures between him and other girls. I was terribly hurt and finally told him enough was enough. He was changed more then anything. He was cried to me time and time again about it all. And has seriously apologize for everything he has done and not just the obvious things but the little things to. He is depressed that we are no longer together. I know that from things I’ve seen and what friends have said. He has even gone so fair to start seeking out the lords help and consolers to straighten out his life. He now sees what ive been trying to get him to see. It's been awhile since we broke up. I have wished that I could hate him but I can’t. I have tried to move on but nothing was the same. I still love and care about him. He is the person i still want to talk to when im upset. I feel like he is the only one i could actually relax around and start to be ok with things that have happen in my life aside from him. I love him. No matter what he says and no matter how many times he tells me he is sorry and begs for forgiveness I can’t get past what he has done to me. It just makes me angry the more he begs. I am lost on what to do. Do I let go of it and cut him out of my life. I don’t want him out of my life, but we can’t just be friends after all we have been though. Or do I accept his love and try to work past it. Will I ever be able to trust he wont hurt me again? I am lost on what to do I contently look at it and try to figures out what both sides would mean. I still have no clue what to do.
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (14 February 2010):
 I'll be honest, I hate trying to reply to these questions but I feel compelled to because it just oozes pain. Nobody can really help you with this question because nobody can judge this relationship based off a few words on a screen. Not to mention that there are two sides to every story and we're only getting one.
Its a major crossroad and only you can decide what you should do. So its cut him out of your life or get back together, you're right to assume that you cant just be friends. Ask yourself how many times should you be able to just forgive and get back together? Zero, once, maybe twice depending on the circumstances is pretty normal.
Its also impossible for us to know whether you'll be able to trust him again. You should be able to trust him again, but nobody can trust that their partner will not hurt them, because they will hurt them, either on purpose or accidentally. But that comes with the wonderful and quirky package that is relationships, you just have to trust that you can forgive, be forgiven and move on relatively unscathed. And the good times have to far outweigh the bad times in a relationship... otherwise its called a bad relationship 'duh'.
So you really have some thinking to do... Try writing down the pro's and cons of being in a relationship with him. Talk to friends and family and ask their opinions, they're the ones who are most likely to know whether its worth giving it another shot and arent currently blinded by love.
But take into account these things...
You havent been together very long and already there were problems and trust issues.
You're young and this is probably your first love, (which means you're more likely to just be caught up in the whirlwind instead of thinking sensibly).
There are millions of other people out there, its idealistic and naive to think that there is only one "the one" out there. If you did believe in "the one", ask yourself if you would be dissapointed if this guy was your pre-determined soulmate?
Are you not wanting to lose him as a good friend and just considering getting back together because you care about him and cant stand seeing him hurting?
And lastly, he wasnt there for you when you really needed him. Are you able to truly forgive him for that and move on or would you forever be trying to hide bitterness because of it?
If it makes you feel any better, there are tons of people out there facing the same problem, try not to let it get you down :)
Best of luck and god bless.
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