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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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I'm too nervous to talk to girls at school!
Q. How do I impress girls at school. I can't seem to talk to them I get extremely nervous....
A. 13 July 2010: Nervousness will fade, but the most important thing is to practice... the more you put yourself in situations where you have to talk to girls, the better you'll get. Don't stay home and watch TV, go out with friends, maybe strike up a friendship ... (read in full...)
14 years of abuse and I want out!
Q. I've been in a relationship for 14 years. He's very abusive both mentally and physically. I want to leave, what do I do?...
A. 13 July 2010: Walking out the door is the first and most important step...
More details..?... (read in full...)
Why cant a make a guy cum from a bj?
Q. My last boyfriend of 6 years never came during a blowjob. now my new boyfriend hasnt either Am i doing it wrong?? im really hurt hes stuck with a rubbish girlfriend!! are some men unable to come during a blowjob....why!!!!!...
A. 13 July 2010: Meh, I've never "finished" from a bj and that's not at all from having rubbish girlfriends...
Maybe TimmD is right and I'm just lazy, lol
Don't take it personally.... (read in full...)
How do I bring it up with him that I am unhappy he did not get me anything for my birthday?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating about a year and a half now and my birthday has just gone. All week he had been asking me what I wanted for my birthday and to let him know so he could decide what to get me. However, I haven't received a present. ...
A. 13 July 2010: Did you tell him what you wanted or give him any ideas?
Not that it excuses him from not getting you something, but it certainly would have helped him out... If he knows that your family celebrates birthdays in a big way, maybe the pressure was ... (read in full...)
Is it just sex? Or could there be more?
Q. I've been "officially" dating this guy for about a month now. We started off as sort of friends with benefits but we started having feelings for each other. Now we see each other almost everyday and the sex is AMAZING! I have absolutely NO ...
A. 13 July 2010: I've always found trying to turn "friends with benefits" into something more to be the hardest transition to make, having been on both sides of the fence. The only real way I've found it to work is to stop the FWB situation and only kick it up ... (read in full...)
We were talking about losing our virginity to each other, but then 2 weeks later he lost his to another girl! Now he wants me more than ever I don't know what to do....
Q. Well, i have been talking to this guy and weve liked each other since childhood.one day we asked each other about our virginity and we both admitted we were. I believe in abstinence,none the less i was willing to loose my virginity to him. But a ...
A. 13 July 2010: Stay strong, you don't want to turn into a doormat straight off the bat.... (read in full...)
Can you trust a Liar ?
Q. In the summer of 2008 me and my wife had drifted from eachother... we still loved eachother and had a son .. but we had drifted ..liked doing seperate things...hobbies etc.. i felt the relationship was going very stale and needed a break.. to ...
A. 11 July 2010: Ouch... my brain. Ok, granted you were with this woman for 15 years, you don't trust her and frankly the whole situation sounds more difficult than chinese algebra. But dude... this is one woman in... (let me just check something...) 3,0896,000 ... (read in full...)
My ex unfriended me on facebook when I reached out to him, why?
Q. Yea...when me and my ex broke up....it ended badly....I told him that he was not a real bf cause he didn't stand up to me.. I tried reaching out to him last week through facebook. Today he unfriended me...why? I asked him and sent him a new frie...
A. 11 July 2010: Not everybody wants to be friends after a breakup, not much you can do about it but respect their decision and move on. If you really want to know why then you can only really find out by asking him.... (read in full...)
Why would he post this song as his away message?
Q. If a guy talks about how relaxing and sweet this song is on a Friday late at night (not to you, just his AIM away status), is he in love with someone new? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-Z3YrHJ1sU and feature=related Lyrics...
A. 11 July 2010: You are looking WAAAAAY too much into this...... (read in full...)
Is there anything romantic about having sex with a prostitute?
Q. I'm not going to lie. I have made love to prostitutes before. I have tried to be gentle with them (women of course). But I want to know...is there anything romantic or beautiful about making love to prostitutes? I need to get it off my conscience. I ...
A. 10 July 2010: Nope, you pay money, they provide a service... If you had a prostitute not take your money then maybe... I guess? :S... (read in full...)
How the heck do I last longer?
Q. Hi, this is quite an embaressing question but I see no other way than to ask. When I have sex with my girlfriend... I tend to come really fast, every time, im talking about 30 seconds tops. When I masturbate I try to make it last longer since I h...
A. 7 July 2010: The band chick in american pie suggested wearing two condoms instead of just one, (less sensitive). Never tried it myself... but it worked for Jim ;)... (read in full...)
How do I let her down gently without hurting her too much?
Q. So first off i am only 20 years old, and very mature for my age, and i have been with my girlfriend, who is turning 21 this year, for almost a year, at first i was sketchy about even dating her because she was so different in personality than i ...
A. 7 July 2010: She's gonna be hurt no matter how you let her down...
The important thing is that you make it quick, direct and not leave her hanging onto false hope that you'll get back together. ... (read in full...)
I feel like the romance in our relationship is fading. Help!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for six years, we are 20, we live together, we study, we get along really great, we always laugh and have a great time together, we're best friends. For the last few years he doesn't put effort in to make me feel spe...
A. 7 July 2010: I agree 100% with karen. Give the man some space, it'll help.... (read in full...)
How do I take things to the next level without being pushy?
Q. *sigh* i'm really bad at explaining so bare with me. i really like this guy that i've known for awhile and we've been technically 'friends with benefits' for nearly a year now, we have been in a relationship before but it ended, we're very close and ...
A. 7 July 2010: Going from friends with benefits to a relationship is in my opinion one of the toughest transitions two people can make. I'd stop the FWB relationship and only have sex when you're in a real relationship with him, otherwise he's going to string you ... (read in full...)
Why do guys like bachelor parties so much?
Q. Why do guys like bachelor partys so much? I dont even want a bachelorette party. I asked my bf if he wants one and he asked me if i would be upset and i said i wouldnt really want you to have one it could lead to problems. He said ok but if his ...
A. 7 July 2010: Get rid of the bachelor party at your own risk, it already sets a precedent that you don't trust him... and isn't that a quality you want most in a partner and marriage... trust?... (read in full...)
Did I handle this situation correctly?
Q. I was just on this dating website chatting to another user, everything was going fine and then he saw me on FACEBOOK, after that he just went cold and blokced me. I sent him a curt email telling him he was immature shallow and not all that attract...
A. 7 July 2010: Meh, if it made you feel better to hurl an email at him then why not... its not like either of you are ever going to be meeting. It ain't the high road but meh...... (read in full...)
Should the good guy dump his wife of 20 years for the old girlfriend?
Q. My wife and I just passed our 20th anniversary, we have two girls 10 and 14. My wife has various emotional issues and our home life can often be chaotic. I have always done much of the home work (cooking, keeping an eye on girls' schoolwork, ...
A. 7 July 2010: Yeh, this sounds like approval seeking that what you are doing is right... when really you've already made your decision.
Not that I'm looking down on you, cheating sucks, but unhappiness sucks even more and it sounds like you gave up on this ... (read in full...)
How does nipple color determine how she is in her sexual life?
Q. hiiii all once aging i want to know sm thing ... may be its can be funny question...but i want ans... different-different women have different-different color of nipple of Brest… So my question is if sm women has light Pink color o...
A. 27 June 2010: This question made my day :)... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's behaviour is outrageous
Q. This is the third time me and my girlfriend have been together. Each time the relationship started i approached her and we talked things out and everything always starts off great. The first time I broke up with her she didn't like my friends ...
A. 26 June 2010: I know sick crazy women and buddy, she's right up there. Wake up, open your eyes, grow a backbone and get rid of this psycho.... (read in full...)
I've never followed 'the rules' of 'womanly' behaviour is this wrong?
Q. The rules book stated that a girl should be reserved, not too chatty, not trying at all to entertain actually but thats a personality trait of mine, i LOVE TO ENTERTAIN, i make ppl laugh, im extremely bubbly and sometimes too hyper. I enjoy being ...
A. 26 June 2010: Where on earth did you get these "rules" from? Is this a new book or something? Because it sounds like garbage written by those 3 old women from "ladette to lady"... keep being yourself and forget these "rules"...... (read in full...)
If you were kissed by a man in the 'just friends' category... you would...?
Q. Girls, how would you react if your best male friend kissed you? As in we are both 26 and she does know I like her but on this day we were just driving and I suddenly pulled the car over, and she said "what are you doing", I said "this" and leaned ...
A. 24 June 2010: Mmmm... I've let a girl whom I wasn't interested in kiss me for around 7 seconds without pulling away (a lot to process when the friend boundary gets crossed unexpectedly). She could be interested for sure, just don't assume its a done-deal is all. ... (read in full...)
Am I in a dangerous relationship or am I over-reacting?
Q. Im starting to worry about my boyfriends behavior and it he has the potential to become abusive in the future with our relationship. we have been dating for about 3 months. he is almost twenty and im sixteen. he always wants to be with me. we hang ...
A. 24 June 2010: This many problems after only 3 months of dating...
No offense, but I can't think of a worse possible guy for any girl to get involved with, especially at age 16. Seriously, this guy sounds unstable and is nothing but bad news.
You can do soo m... (read in full...)
Enough with the "Mr. Spock"! I want some Spark!
Q. This may not sound like something to complain about but it seems as though my boyfriend is too logical or practical or something. Its taking away the romance from our relationship. He doesn't think the romance part is very important and ive told...
A. 24 June 2010: Oh boy... well I'll be honest with you, I don't think he's going to change because it sounds like its a major part of his personality. Can I ask how old he is and how long you've been going out?... (read in full...)
Amnesia stole four years of my life and what I am learning of my boyfriend now, is not promising.
Q. right this is quite complicated and long so please bear with me i need advice. In April of this year i ended up in hospital having had a seizure, it turned out i had a small blood clot on my brain. the main side effect was that i got retro grade ...
A. 24 June 2010: For real?! Well first off, write a movie script...
It must suck for both you and your boyfriend, but at the end of the day he needs to either "woo" you again or move along. He probably feels like he's already "earned" you, but if he's worth ke... (read in full...)
Help! Who does my crush like?!? Me or my Bff?!?
Q. I like this guy... And so does my best friend. He gives us mix signals . She came up to him and ask if he could say happy birthday to me. He said that he was just about to do that and after the day he came up to me a said happy birthday. My friend ...
A. 24 June 2010: Didn't he already tell your friend that he liked her in a msg?... (read in full...)
My girl's sexual tally is less than mine but I am still bothered by it
Q. I recently discovered that at my girfriend at the age of 23 has had 22 sexual partners including me. Let's forgo the truth part as I believe her but what's bothering me is the number. I didn't think I'd be bothered but when she counted up and told ...
A. 23 June 2010: Women are judged differently when it comes to the amount of sexual partners they've had, and yes, you are being somewhat of an ass given the double standard. Don't be a sissy dude.... (read in full...)
We have a sex swing...why can't I have I have a vibrator?
Q. ok well here is the deal................. I want a him and her vibrator for example ( cock ring and the jack rabit) but my husband is digusted by the fact of me wanting sum. I have oferd to buy him sum sex toys as well, but he refuses he says ...
A. 23 June 2010: "As for the "jack rabbit" if I was him I'd feel intimidated too! It's a penis, but huge with all sorts of bells and whistles to make you orgasm in a snap."
I'm not familiar with this device, but my penis can't whistle so already I hate it.... (read in full...)
Falsely accused of stalking my ex...
Q. Ok so this is going to be long i apologize in advance. So recently i messaged my ex boyfriend who i hadnt seen in 10 mos. I basically told him i was upset about the way things ended and i wanted to see him and talk a little bit to kind clear up why ...
A. 23 June 2010: Ergh, why did you have to call them Bob, Beam and bestfriend, I kept getting them all mixed up ;)
Don't hold out hope for getting any meaningful closure from him when he responds like this after 10 months... can't you just get closure from you... (read in full...)
How can I deal with this girl who keeps hitting on me?
Q. Where to begin. First I am posting anonymously because the girl that I have an issue with found my post on the user name last time. But my situation from before was that my neighbors are quite close with my family. This has been going on for nea...
A. 23 June 2010: Ignoring the fact that she's 16... (and I don't feel right doing so, but you seem like you already know it all already), I have to ask... are you the most passive person alive? Nearly a whole year this has been going on?!
Forgive me, but I'm assu... (read in full...)
He just doesn't want to listen to me, should I break up with him?
Q. [MODERATOR NOTE: PLEASE BE A LITTLE MORE SPECIFIC. WHAT IS AN EXAMPLE OF 'GIVING HIM YOUR HEART'? WHAT DOES HE THINK HE IS MISSING WITHOUT 'HAVING YOU LOVE HIM/HAVING YOUR HEART'?] well, the problem is that i have a bf and we've been dating ...
A. 23 June 2010: You can't force love, so why be with him if you know you can't love him the way he wants?... (read in full...)
I'm scared he may be using me!
Q. I'm 14. 15 in 2 weeks. I have a boyfriend. I've been seeing him for 2 weeks. We have already done a LOT. I just found out he's had sex before and i'm still a virgin. I'm scared he's just using me. Help me. Please. ...
A. 23 June 2010: At that age every guy... (yes every guy) has sex on the brain. If you don't want to be used, then don't have sex with him.... (read in full...)
Is this just friendship or can it be more?
Q. There is this guy i think he is kinda cute but, im not sure if he likes me like that. I mean when we are together I get butterflies. When we are in class and we get to choose our seats we always sit next to each other and a couple of times we have ...
A. 23 June 2010: Looks like it could be more for sure :)
... (read in full...)
He threw out his ring so I threw out mine! What does it mean?
Q. My b/f and I were having an argument the other day on the highway coming home, at one point during the fight, he pulled off his ring and put it on the dash of the car. A few minutes later he pulled over, rolled down the window and threw the ring ...
A. 23 June 2010: Sorry for the loss of your rings... but I had to laugh just a lil' bit at how dramatic it all was... You both sound like very passionate, stubborn and independent people.
You can look at this in a positive light, even if you are supersti... (read in full...)
The gray eyes...
Q. Hi, I took this time to describe my boyfriend and why I love him, now don't skip this story cause its supposed to be a sappy love story, but its sooo ridiculous bf and I met when I was in seventh grade, he's barbadian, (from the island of barbados) ...
A. 20 June 2010: Puking on someone as an icebreaker... interesting, I may try this ;)... (read in full...)
I don't want to take her from my friend but if she likes me???
Q. I went to a party the other day for my friend we decided to prank call people we ended up prank calling his girlfriend. At first we kinda pranked her then we just called her back and was being stupid but anyway after that i started talking to her i ...
A. 20 June 2010: It doesn't matter if she likes you or not, you should respect your friend and leave this girl alone.... (read in full...)
Do you think the sex problem could be part of the reason he didn't stay?
Q. My boyfriend has been sleeping over every Saturday for the past 4 months. This is embarrasing, but I have a lot of difficulty having an orgasm. I don't know why. I am fine with it not happening for me, but he always insists on making sure it does. ...
A. 20 June 2010: There's a chance you could be over-thinking this. At the end of the day- it was just ONE night. It just sucks that it was the one night of the week that you get to stay with him.
If he starts turning down staying overnight next week, that's w... (read in full...)
Saw a teacher at a strip club
Q. hi, im just turned 18 and im a senior in high school. a few weeks ago i went to a strip club for my brothers bacholor party.one of the stripers was 1 of my teachers.who is like 24. durin the last 2 weeks of school since she been given be signs like ...
A. 20 June 2010: You do know that its their job to look at customers and rub their "titz and pussy". To make every guy think she's interested in him. I wouldn't look to far into this dude.... (read in full...)
She won't return the favor!
Q. So me and my girlfriend have been going out for a little while now, i finger here and go down sometimes every time we fool around and she says she likes it, but she has only returned the favor once out of numerous times ive done it to her. I try to ...
A. 19 June 2010: ... be happy that you're getting sex?... (read in full...)
His ex is pregnant with his child, and trying to get him back!
Q. Well here's my situation people. I'll tell yous the hole story well it all started when i met this guy at a little get together with friends. Yeah we had some little to drink and me and my sister were talking about our kids. He over heard us talking ...
A. 19 June 2010: It doesn't seem like he needs to be convinced that she isn't right for him or that you are better for him. He's already figured that out for himself... so just relax! :) You knew the situation before you started dating him, he's been entirely ... (read in full...)
Is he lying just so he can use me?
Q. I feel so stuck! My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago because he lives too far away, I have my hsc and he has uni. He says at first he wants to go on a break for the remaining 6 months of my hsc, we are so different, etc (yet he could ...
A. 19 June 2010: Any guy would drive 45 minutes if he knew he'd get sex and he'd also say anything when he's just a few select words away from a blow-job...
Honestly, there is not a doubt in my mind that he just wants you two to be friends with benefits... (read in full...)
Am I insane for wanting to go to Ireland to find love?
Q. I seem to have some kind of crazy obsession with Ireland. So much so that I'm strongly considering saving money for a few months, taking a flight over, and backpacking for a while... with a hidden agenda of falling in love with an Irishman. How bad ...
A. 19 June 2010: Sounds like a fantastic idea! :)
Good thing about it is that even if you don't find love in Ireland, you'll still have an absolute blast, see new places and meet new people.
Sounds like a win-win to me so start saving...... (read in full...)
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